10 Things You’d Love to Say at Work … But Can’t

Thank God there is a filter in place between my brain and my mouth. If I said everything I thought, I would be in constant trouble.

women with her hand over her mouth

Yesterday, while cleaning out my closet, I stumbled across an article I had saved. It is called “Things You’d Love to Say at Work But Can’t.” It had thirty-eight items. Here are the first ten:

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  1. I’ll try being nicer if you try being smarter.
  2. I don’t know what your problem is, but I’ll bet its hard to pronounce.
  3. I’ll pencil that in for never. Does never work for you?
  4. I see you’ve set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
  5. It sounds like English, but I can’t understand a word you’re saying.
  6. Ahhh … I see the screw-up fairy has visited us again.
  7. I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.
  8. I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don’t give a rip.
  9. I will always cherish the positive initial misconceptions I had about you.
  10. The fact that no one understands you doesn’t mean you are an artist.
What would you like to say at work, if only you could? You can leave a comment by clicking here.
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  • Carnaman

    I think you severely overestimated my interest

  • Patrick

    Oh, I’m sorry.  You mistook me for someone who actually cares about your opinion.

  • Heather Ingrum

    Just because I work and live in the same place doesn’t mean that I don’t deserve at vacation-right stay at home mom’s everywhere?!

  • http://www.charleshutchinson.com/ Charles Hutchinson

    Man, all this time I thought I was an artist. Who knew?

  • Jamie

    “Poor planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part.”

  • http://traceysolomon.wordpress.com/ Tracey solomon

    It’s ministry- not magic. 

  • http://traceysolomon.wordpress.com/ Tracey solomon

    And: Just because I’m a volunteer doesn’t mean I don’t work. 

    But that’s mostly what I want to say ABOUT work- not at work;) at work they get that;)- outside ? Not so much.

  • http://www.sundijo.com Sundi Jo Graham

    Love this: I don’t know what your problem is, but I’ll bet its hard to pronounce.

  • http://www.saracanaday.com Sara Canaday

    Some of my favorites:

    “Is this a beauty contest or you ok with just the numbers”

    “Please take responsibility for the energy you bring into this room” – Dr. Taylor

  • http://www.ericdingler.com/ Eric Dingler

    Stop abusing my ears with your words.  

  • Zawelenje

    Ur not busy ur just lazy and scattered brained. Thanks

  • http://profiles.google.com/dennis.l.preston Dennis Preston

    I once had someone ask me how I could hold a particular view, opposite of their own which was sort of an “assumed” position among many. I wanted to say, “well, when I started learning how to think…” Thankfully, filter kicked in.

    • http://theordainedbarista.com/ Barry Hill

      Dennis,
      Ha—Thank goodness for the filter. I have noticed as people get older the filter becomes less important.

  • gary black

    “Uhmm, your crisis is not my crisis.”

  • http://twitter.com/AngieSambu Angie

    1. Just because you don’t know how to do something, doesn’t make it impossible.

    2. My job will never compete with family emergencies!

  • http://runonitblog.com/ John Fritsche

    Hahaha! I love this. I used to hear and use these at work when I was in the Marine Corps. It was a very unique atmosphere.

  • Jenna B

    Your slurping is echoing off every gray cubicle in a 10 mile radius. You sound like Gollum sipping the last drops of a slurpy. It has to stop.

  • Anne-Marie Gosser

    I’ve always loved this joke because the man says it all without saying a word:

    Mildred, the church gossip and self-appointed arbiter of the church’s morals, kept sticking her nose into other people’s business. Several residents were unappreciative of her activities, but feared her enough to maintain their silence. She made a mistake, however, when she accused George, a new member, of being an alcoholic, after she saw his pickup truck parked in front of the town’s only bar one afternoon. She commented to George and others that everyone seeing it there would know what he was doing.

    George, a man of few words, stared at her for a moment and then just walked away. He didn’t explain, defend, or deny. He said nothing.

    Later that evening, George quietly parked his pickup in front of Mildred’s house…….and left it there all night.

  • Michael Kight

    There are a couple in there I can use… or not. Here’s one you might appreciate: “If ignorance were bliss, you’d be the happiest person here.”

  • Anita Agers-Brooks

    I doubt I’d ever say it myself, but a former employee and right hand person, used to say, “You just can’t fix stupid.” Always made me laugh.