My wife as an incredible sense of timing. She often says just the right thing at the exact time I need it. After twenty-eight years of marriage, I have come to depend on it.
Last week, she forwarded me a message from T.D. Jakes that took my breath away. It may not mean anything to you. But for me, it was “a word fitly spoken” (Proverbs 25:11).
I have found several versions of this sermon posted around the Web. However, I have not been able to find the “official version.” (Welcome to the Internet!) So, the version below is the one my wife received via e-mail and was encouraged to pass along to everyone she knew. Enjoy!
There are people who can walk away from you.And hear me when I tell you this! When people can walk away from you: let them walk.
I don’t want you to try to talk another person into staying with you, loving you, calling you, caring about you, coming to see you, staying attached to you. I mean hang up the phone!
When people can walk away from you, let them walk. Your destiny is never tied to anybody that left.
The Bible says that, “They came out from us that it might be made manifest that they were not of us. For had they been of us, no doubt they would have continued with us” (1 John 2:19).
People leave you because they are not joined to you. And if they are not joined to you, you can’t make them stay.
Let them go.
And it doesn’t mean that they are a bad person. It just means that their part in your story is over. And you’ve got to know when people’s part in your story is over, so that you don’t keep trying to “raise the dead.” You’ve got to know when it’s dead. You’ve got to know when it’s over.
Let me tell you something. I’ve got the gift of good-bye. It’s the tenth spiritual gift, I believe in good-bye.
It’s not that I’m hateful. It’s that I’m faithful, and I know whatever God means for me to have He’ll give it to me. And if it takes too much sweat I don’t need it. Stop begging people to stay.
Let them go!
If you are holding on to something that doesn’t belong to you, and was never intended for your life, then you need to …
Let it go!
If you are holding on to past hurts and pains …
Let it go!
If someone can’t treat you right, love you back, and see your worth …
Let it go!
If someone has angered you.
Let it go!
If you are holding on to some thoughts of evil and revenge …
Let it go!
If you are involved in a wrong relationship or addiction …
Let it go!
If you are holding on to a job that no longer meets your needs or talents …
Let it go!
If you have a bad attitude …
Let it go!
If you keep judging others to make yourself feel better …
Let it go!
If you’re stuck in the past and God is trying to take you to a new level in Him …
Let it go!
If you are struggling with the healing of a broken relationship …
Let it go!
If you keep trying to help someone who won’t even try to help themselves …
Let it go!
If you’re feeling depressed and stressed …
Let it go!
If there is a particular situation that you are so used to handling yourself, and God is saying, “Take your hands off of it,” then you need to …
Let it go!
Let the past be the past. Forget the former things. GOD is doing a new thing for 2007!
Let it go!
Get right or get left. Think about it, and then …
Let it go!
“The Battle is the Lord’s!”
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This is incredibly powerful, Mike—thank you for sharing it. It happened to be what I needed to hear today. And maybe that’s because it’s a message that’s applicable to all of us, no matter where we find ourselves.
Cameron
After reading this I just sat and cried. I dealing with a daughter who has addictions & now have temporary custody of my grandson. There are a lot of issues that I do need to LET IT GO. After reading this i know i have to let go.
While there is much wisdom in this message there also seems to be the lack of commitment and perseverance that is causing so many problems in our culture including job hopping, church hopping, the lack of true friendships, pathetic parenting, and divorce.
We yearn for absolute guidelines to simplify our lives, and “let it go” seems to be one of them. But life is not simple and applying simple guidelines to a complex life create problems and pain.
So as always, we must take this message with a grain of salt and apply it where appropriate. When life is hard, we must pray and ask for wisdom. It may be that we really need to hold on rather than let it go. Kipling says it much better than me:
If…
by Rudyard Kipling
If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies,
Or being hated, don’t give way to hating,
And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise:
If you can dream – and not make dreams your master;
If you can think – and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to broken,
And stoop and build ‘em up with wornout tools:
If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: ‘Hold on!’
If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings – nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run -
Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,
And – which is more – you’ll be a Man my son!
Mike, I really enjoy your blog. I’ve been lurking for some time (came over from your “Working Smart” blog) and this is my first comment. It is amazing to me that you, as the leader of your company, are so willing to share yourself publicly. Thomas Nelson is truly blessed to have such a leader as you. I appreciate your insights and, more importantly, your spirit.
“Let It Go” struck a chord in me. A couple of weeks ago, I had a business trip involving many people canceled at the last minute. That trip would have been in a city where two of my sons live. The week I would have been there, one of my sons lost his job – for no actions of his own. He got caught in the middle of an internal political struggle. Had I been in Houston, I not only wouldn’t have let it go, I probably would have gone over and “grabbed hold” of somebody. I was that upset. Any parent understands my feelings. And, I’ve had many thoughts since then (for which I immediately repented – but it has been a struggle) of “evil and revenge” towards the individuals responsible. Your post was a blessing to both my son and me. I “let it go” and finally gave it to God. Thank you.
“Let it go” is a good reminder when someone walks away which needs to be balanced with God’s wisdom to know when to go “looking for the one lost sheep” out of the 99 — perhaps could be refered to as the Barnabas approach who invested in John Mark so that Paul was able to say, “bring him along, he is profitable to me.” Wonder what would have happened if Barnabas would have just let him go also?
Mike:
I think God works this way. He loves, He pursues, but He never manipulates or begs. He wants a heart that wants Him.
I’ve learned to ask “what do I really want?” In relationships and freindships I’m learning to want only what the person wants to give me. If I have to pout, manipulate, or cajole for it – it’s not real. The best chance I have of getting what I really want (for you to WANT me) is to hold loosely and even to let go.
People choose. They can be coerced, but their response to coercion is not love given by choice. The best chance I have of receiving something real from them is if I am the kind of person they WANT to give to.
So, maybe I need to spend my energy on being the best me I can be – not on worrying about or trying to change another. I need to give unconditionally and then I need to “let it go.”
Thanks for the post.
Mark,
I totally agree. This is a good point.
Mike