Usually, writers will do anything to avoid writing. For instance, the previous sentence was written at one o’clock this afternoon. It is now a quarter to four. I have spent the past two hours and forty-five minutes sorting my neckties by width, looking up the word “paisly” in three dictionaries, attempting to find the town of that name on The New York Times Atlas of the World map of Scotland, sorting my reference books by width, trying to get the bookcase to stop wobbling by stuffing a matchbook cover under its corner, dialing the telephone number on the matchbook cover to see if I should take computer courses at night, looking at the computer ads in the newspaper and deciding to buy a computer because writing seems to be so difficult on my old Remington, reading an interesting article on sorghum farming in Uruguay that was in the newspaper next to the computer ads, cutting that and other interesting articles out of the newspaper, sorting—by width—all the interesting articles I’ve cut out of newspapers recently, fastening them neatly together with paper clips and making a very attractive paper clip necklace and bracelet set, which I will present to my girlfriend as soon as she comes home from the three-hour low-impact aerobic workout that I made her go to so I could have some time alone to write.”
— P. J. O’Rourke
The Wit and Wisdom of P. J. O’Rourke
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Yep. Sounds like the sermon I'm trying to write now.
i laughed so hard i cried!
ha! I am relating:)
You have channeled me! It's so good to know I'm not alone with my stored (in no order, of course) newspaper, magazine & whatever articles, snippets, etc.
Thanks for a good, refreshing, LOL read!
See – if I just logged all the "stops" I make in the course of a day, I'd realize why I never seem to get anything done, but am exhausted by mid-afternoon
Hmm. Sounds like a lot of trouble. I kill that much time on Twitter. And reading blogs. Thanks for your help in denying myself of a livelihood and career.
Oh, I will so be using this with my English IV and AP Lit & Comp students next year!!!
This made me laugh and cry all in the same breath. Literally. I'm laughing b/c this is so human. I feel thoroughly understood. I discovered this last hour that eating HoHos and chewing on my cuticles are perfect ways of distracting myself:) Only in Anne Lamott's "Bird by Bird" did I laugh this hard b/c I identified on some level. It triggered tears b/c, once again, it was a confirming kind of unexpected confrontation that I give a rip. Yes, I do. I give a rip about writing. The smaller distractions are only a shadow of a much larger entity who seems to be relentless to sidetrack and suffocate our voices at times. I'm done with the HoHos. Now, where are the Cheetos?:)
How true :) Sounds like me when I'm trying to get started on something new. That's when I have the most trouble with actually getting to work. Thanks for the smile today :)
I'm totally with you on this one!
Now, where do I find that article on sorghum farming in Uruguay?
Ha!! This is hilarious! And….tragically…like looking in a mirror. Well, except, I have no neckties.
Just a wee little bit distracted! :) I would add that checking today's exchange rates and searching the travel sites for best fares to Glasgow—which is just a short stagger from Paisley—can take the better half of a writing day. And then finding your passport can consume the second half. Simplify!
I’m sure inspiration will strike as soon as his girlfriend gets home, and they have to leave for a dinner engagement.
Oh my goodness, a writer who doesn't check spelling. It is Paisley not Paisly. It is on the southwestern outskirts of Glasgow. I would tell you more but I have to go sort my rhubarb collection by length and colour before I can write another word,
This is so unfortunately true. When you write on a whim, it's fine, being it's voluntary , but when there's a deadline. well, forget writing. I need to change the stings on my guitar a couple of times, gotta be thorough , right? Andd, after that I'll need to weave myself a bracelet using the old strings. Then I should make a scarf, Just because I can. oh, look at that. missed the deadline.
oh well.
Awesome…I fit right in rotflmao
I am Uruguayan and prowd of our sorghum farming! hah
This is
Duh! I forgot to finish my comment. I was going to say, "This is so true," but I got distracted by trying to get the OpenID feature to work and absentmindedly pressed submit. Goes to show that people need to learn to focus, just as a writer needs to set a word goal, and then just write.
Totally true. In fact, I'm reading and commenting on this instead of writing something. Thanks for the distraction.
Sounds like me. I can write like a wildman until I get too tired to write at all … only to find that the muse has no handles and is hard to pick up again.
I'm glad I'm not the only one who likes to play with paper clips. I might have to rethink my aversion to neckties, too. Enjoyed this immensely!
Oh my goodness, I am in stitches. I can't believe how true this is!
Ha! I seriously thought I must not be a "real" writer because I avoid writing as well – even though I have things to say! I feel relieved now that I know I'm in good company!
Too true! There's always a million other more interesting things to do – and you're kicking yourself for not writing anything all the way through…
This was so fantastic! I am an avid collector of strange hobbies in an attempt to avoid getting my writing done. It's quite impressive!
And to think I found this site while I was trying to avoid doing any writing! Serves me right!
My stomach hurts from laughing while reading the entire article… while avoiding writing.
Funny! :-) True every time I need to write. Every time! No matter how short/long, simple/complicated the writing assignment.
Seems that a lot of people see this as an example of how difficult it is to write (also the headline), but you can look at it differently:
Sometimes people just need inspiration; after writing the first sentence, the author then spent some time doing things that generated content for him to complete his post (was PJO'R really writing a blog when he wrote that???).
In the end he managed to write a post that continues to be read and passed on by many. Glass half full.
Ha, ha … ouch!…
Thank you so much for this post, I truly thought I was alone in this. How true this article is!
Спасибо за блог, очень грамотно все сделано. Все-таки stand-alone лучше, чем на livejournal и прочих.
oh how i relate so well to this. and…im commenting here instead of writing :-/
While I am not a writer in the true sense of the word, I am a Christian business woman who tries to use social networks and a blog to expand. I rarely get around to doing so. Thanks for a laugh and motivation to stop procrastinating so much. ish I was OCD about organization, now that would be WORTH putting my writing off to me since the longer I am in business (8 years online Bible sales now) the less paperwork I file, while my office looks out of order at all times! Thanks for the insight!
Every Blessing from our LORD!
This is so true. For me Wikipedia is bad news when i should be writing. It might start on an entirely relevant topic but it doesn't take too many clicks before you are reading about Papua New Guinian minority languages, the history of lolcats or the use of punctuation in metal band's names.
Somebody said, "Just Start Writing."
It doesn't have to be profound, in fact it can be just plain gibberish.
It works every time I try it.
It's the "trying it part" that is just so hard to do….
My recent post Do You Have a Heartfelt Goal?
I once told a published author "Oh, I can only write when the spirit moves me." She promptly replied "if you are serious, you will sit and attempt to write everyday."
True true — but also not exclusive to writers. My business school classmates used to joke about all the other tasks that looked really attractive when there was homework to do: cleaning the bathroom, going grocery shopping, anything but the thing you should be doing.
I loved an article on overcoming procrastination by Christine Kane that advocated, among other things, giving yourself permission to do it badly, taking advantage of small chunks of time and stopping asking how you feel about a task and just doing it.
http://newvinegrowing.wordpress.com/2009/10/12/pr...
Thanks for sharing!
My recent post My life goals in painting form
He's my hero simply for sentence length alone!
My recent post Spotty blogging
He's my hero simply for sentence length alone!
My recent post Spotty blogging
that is exactly what i am experiencing. maybe i am a true writer?