5 Reasons You Should Smile More as a Leader

Several years ago, when I was the CEO of Thomas Nelson Publishers, I was presiding over our monthly business review meeting. One by one, each of our divisional managers would appear before the executive team and review their operating results for the previous month.

Smiling Leader

Photo courtesy of ShutterStock.com/Charlotte Purdy

At the first break, one of my business consultants who was attending pulled me aside.

“Are you angry at someone?”

“No,” I said, somewhat surprised.

“You sure?” she pressed.

“Absolutely,” I insisted.

“Then you might want to let your face know, because it looks like you are are ticked off! It’s intimidating and shutting people down.”

I had no idea I was doing this. (I also loved the fact that she was willing to be so direct with me!)

Fast forward two years. My booking agent, Brian Scheer, told me that I don’t smile enough when speaking from stage.

Really? I thought. That can’t be right. I’m sure I smile plenty.

Then I reviewed some of my video footage. Sure enough, Brian was right. I didn’t smile enough. In fact, I was shocked at how little I smiled.

He said, “You smile a lot in real life, but something happens when you step on stage. You get … well … intense.

So for the past two years I have been working hard to smile more, both in real life and on stage. It hasn’t been easy. I have had to work hard at being more aware.

When I am speaking, Brian often stands in the back of the room, prompting me. If I am not smiling, he smiles big and points to the corners of his mouth. I am the only one who can see him, but it has helped immensely.

Though I still have a ways to go, in reviewing my most recent videos, I can see I have made substantial improvement. My goal is to make it my default—an unconscious behavior.

This experience has made me realize how important smiling is to leadership. It can really does help us better achieve the outcomes we seek. It is important for at least five reasons.

  1. It helps others relax. When you scowl or look too intense, it creates a primal reaction in others. Their defenses go up. They become protective and guarded.

    This is the exact opposite of what you want to happen if you are trying to influence them. A smile communicates that you are safe and can be trusted.

  2. It draws people to you. Have you ever noticed how you are attracted to people who smile and laugh a lot? The positive energy is contagious. You instinctively smile in response.

    The simple fact is that people naturally want to be around people who are happy. If you want others to follow you, you can start by smiling more.

  3. It enables you to connect. Smiling is one of the best, quickest ways to connect with anyone from any culture. Even if you don’t speak the same language, a smile is universally appreciated.

    It opens the door, welcomes people into your world, and communicates acceptance. Even if people are frustrated or angry, a smile can often turn them around. In that moment you forge a connection.

  4. It creates positive culture. If you want to change the culture of an organization, change the behavior of its leaders. People naturally play “follow the leader.” When leaders smile, everyone smiles.

    Smiles communicate that your organization is a happy place to work. And who doesn’t want to work where people are smiling and happy?

  5. It elevates your mood. This is one of the surprising benefits of smiling. I had no idea. It literally affects you at a biological level, releasing endorphins and serotonins.

    Smiling has numerous physical and psychological benefits, including relieving stress, lowering your blood pressure, and boosting your immune system. And it’s much cheaper and healthier than drugs.

Seriously, set a goal to smile more this year. Recruit an accountability partner. Set reminders. Whatever it takes. As a leader, it will help ensure you have a positive impact on the people you are leading.

Question: Are you smiling enough as a leader? What can you do to improve? You can leave a comment by clicking here.

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  • http://www.lawrencewilson.com/p/about-me.html Lawrence W. Wilson

    I love this! Like you, I had to be coached (by my wife) to smile more, in my case while preaching. The best benefit is #5, it makes me feel better. This also works on the phone–smile when you make a difficult phone call, and it’ll brighten your voice and mood. Great reminder, Michael.

    • http://michaelhyatt.com/ Michael Hyatt

      Agreed. It absolutely does work on the phone!

    • http://www.MicheleCushatt.com/ Michele Cushatt

      A couple years ago, I asked a good friend for advice before recording my first radio interview. She gave me a wealth of wisdom, but the best was this: “Don’t forget to smille. You can hear a smile (or lack of) through the radio every time.” She was absolutely right!

  • Bruce

    I believe that there should be a fine balance between smiling and serious looks, depending on the topic of the discussion, and the context of the meeting. A welcome smile always does wonders, and boosts the confidence of everyone in the room
    Bruce
    http://www.lifejottings.org

    • http://www.sieverkropp.com/ Mark Sieverkropp

      Very true Bruce…should probably be careful smiling too much when you’re firing someone or correcting behavior! I know I typically land on the side of not smiling enough though!

      • http://www.mattmcwilliams.com/ Matt McWilliams

        HAHA! I just got a mental picture of the guy on the BBC series Bleak House who always smiles firing someone. Getting fired while my boss was smiling might have set me off when I was younger :)

    • http://www.MicheleCushatt.com/ Michele Cushatt

      True. You always want the facial expression to match the subject matter. In 8 years of coaching speakers, it’s rare for me to find someone who smiles during a serious or sober part of their presentation. It happens, but not often. On the other hand, I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had to remind someone to smile when they’re talking about something positive or joyful! It seems when we’re focused or concentrating, it’s easy for the smile to disappear.

  • http://www.pauljolicoeur.com/ Paul Jolicoeur

    I agree, that sometimes I have to remind my face how I am really feeling. You thoughts on how smiling changes your mood is right on, its hard to genuinely smile and not feel an up-tick in your mood.

    When I find it hard to smile, I begin to remind myself of the things I am blessed with and am thankful for. When I do this, a smile begins to appear!

  • bowtiecomedy

    Wow! Great post, Michael. This has been a life long challenge for me. In my first job as a Courtesy Clerk (bag boy) at a grocery store, my supervisor was constantly reminding me to smile. Then throughout the course of my life I have worn this no nonsense scowl. Recently, I made a conscious effort to initiate smiling at strangers, and the response has been amazing. I’ve learned that when you smile at people, they typically smile back. Earth shattering! Thanks for the insight!

  • Laura

    This could be written just for me! My intensity and passion can come across as anger or worry. I had a friend who’s only advice to me when I get up to speak is “Have fun!” Thanks for this reminder, Michael!

  • http://www.toodarnhappy.com/ Kim Hall

    I am reminded of my Christmas choir director who, in the midst of our performances, would raise his eyebrows into a ridiculously high arch, and flash the brightest smile at us, setting off a chain reaction of one hundred happy faces. Hearts re-ignited, our music would soar and dance ever higher, like the tiny sparkling embers rising from a well-stoked fire.

    Yes, smiles are quite catching. :-)

  • Mia Nia

    in my society, a leader should not smile a lot cause he or she will be perceived as less serious, playful, can’t be relied on, easily following others, and can’t lead others well. it’s truly sad, really

    • http://www.MicheleCushatt.com/ Michele Cushatt

      Thanks for sharing this, Mia. There is definitely a culture difference to be aware of.

  • Brian sherman

    Michael this is great. I have the same problem. I am a determined person and i take everthing too serious. I have to get help when i am speaking or preaching to make sure i am smiling. I will use these great tips you have procided. Sometimes i believe we let the pressures dictate how we look. This is a discipline i am working on with the help of my wife.

    • http://michaelhyatt.com/ Michael Hyatt

      That’s the key, I think. Find someone close who can hold you accountable and not be afraid to speak into your life.

      • Geoff Franklin

        Also, it helps to use self-reminders like cell phone alarms, etc. Just a simple reminder before a speech or anytime in the day to smile really helps.

  • KevinIvey

    Hmm, so if you smile TOO much, do you run the risk of not being taken seriously or you lack ‘gravitas’? If so, then what’s too much??

  • http://michaelhyatt.com/ Michael Hyatt

    Yes, I have read similar research elsewhere.

  • http://www.waynestiles.com/ Wayne Stiles

    I’ve really noticed this makes a difference, Michael. Most of the time when I speak, I’ll look at someone directly and smile. They almost always smile back. It’s contagious.

  • Geoff Franklin

    I’ve been working on it. One of the other bloggers I follow (Matt McWilliams) wrote about this about three months ago. Since then, I have been working on consciously smiling more.

    You should check out his post: http://www.mattmcwilliams.com/secret-to-smiling-more-often/

    I’ve got the 6 ways to smile more often posted by my desk and I set reminders throughout the day to remind me to SMILE, even if no one is around. If all it does is make me feel better, that’s a win. It will show up later with someone else.

    • http://www.MicheleCushatt.com/ Michele Cushatt

      Nice shout-out to Matt!

    • http://www.mattmcwilliams.com/ Matt McWilliams

      Wow. That is super cool today Geoff!

      I have to remember that myself a lot of times…like when the in-laws fill our house :-)

      Sometimes telling others how to do something is easier than doing it myself.

  • http://programminglife.net/ mcatlett

    Couldn’t agree more, coming at this as a participant of project teams for over a decade and a half. When the leader is grumpy or all bound up in his or her own world, everyone else becomes less interested in the project or discussion at hand as a whole; it makes it seem like the whole project is not very important.

  • willratliff

    This is a great reminder for those of us (finger pointing at myself) who tend to take life and work too seriously much of the time. I am so blessed and have so much to smile about. It’s a great reminder for me, and a great post. Thanks, Michael!

  • http://www.sieverkropp.com/ Mark Sieverkropp

    So true Michael! I think we all THINK we smile more than we actually do. I read a post a few months back on Matt McWilliams’ blog that gave me a ton of great ideas on HOW to smile more (and the tips are surprisingly easy to implement!) http://www.mattmcwilliams.com/secret-to-smiling-more-often/

  • deandeguara

    Definitely need to smile more!

  • Scott Lebin

    It is also true that no matter what culture exits anywhere in the world the one universal expression that means the same and needs no translation is the smile.

  • http://personalsuccesstoday.com/ John Richardson

    Here is a quick tip to help you smile. Just say the word “great” under your breath and mouth the words two or three times. Instant smile. I use this technique often when I have to meet and greet. Works like a charm (I picked up this tip from Nicholas Boothman’s great book, How to Make People Like You in 90 Seconds or Less.)

    • http://michaelhyatt.com/ Michael Hyatt

      Excellent tip. Thanks, John.

  • Geoff Franklin

    So true. I use smiling as a “performance enhancer.” Before a big presentation, I smile big before walking into the room. Instant lift.

  • Jean Caton Biz.Coach

    Women have a particular challenge balancing nice and tough/respected. It is easier to be respected and be tough when you are likeable too. Smiling authentically and appropriately helps likeability for all the reasons you point out
    Jean

  • Marni Hall

    One of the best things about this is that you have people who care enough to help you improve. I’ll ask for feedback from friends after I teach, present, or lead a discussion, but I think they see it as criticizing. I let them know that I really want to improve, but “you did great!” is usually the answer. I know I have plenty of ways I need to improve. Thoughts on that?

    • http://michaelhyatt.com/ Michael Hyatt

      I think you have to ask the question a couple of times and in a couple of different ways. For example, when someone says, “You did great,” thank them, then respond, “I appreciate that, but what were the parts that weren’t so great.” Keep prying until they know you are serious.

  • Brett Clemmer

    This is a great post. As much as for its insightful content, as for its vulnerability. Great leaders are willing to talk about their own weaknesses (and growth) because they know it will help others and they are confident in their own identity. Two great leadership lessons in this post today.

    • http://michaelhyatt.com/ Michael Hyatt

      Thanks, Brett. I appreciate that.

  • Wendy Claussen

    Great post! Body language, in general, is important to pay attention to. I had one of my students once tell me that she thought I was mad at her when she arrived a few minutes late to class. When I asked her why she thought that she shared with me it was because I had my arms crossed and I glanced at my watch. The actual message was I was cold so my arms were crossed and I checked my watch to see if we should start because no clock on campus was the same. Lesson learned! :-) Here is a smile challenge…answer your phone with a smile on your face.

    • http://www.MicheleCushatt.com/ Michele Cushatt

      Good advice, Wendy. Body language communicates so much. I used to always walk fast everywhere I went, head down (still do sometimes!). I had someone tell me they thought I was either a snob or too busy for anyone else. NOT my heart, but boy did it wake me up to my body language!

  • http://zechariahnewman.com/ Zechariah Newman

    Great post Michael. This is an overlooked thing often. Smiling is so key. Communication is so much more then the words we speak.

  • http://kimanziconstable.com/ kimanzi constable

    Our Tae Kwon Do instructor talked about this last week and gave us a challenge to go out and make at least 5 people smile. It’s amazing what happens when you smile at someone, even if they’re having a rough time, it helps them get a little relief.

    • http://www.SenseiAndo.com/ Ando Mierzwa

      Nice shout out for TKD, Kimanzi!

      Let your smile be your shield and your sword! :)

  • Justin Chapman

    When I’m speaking on stage, I’ve discovered two thought processes with two different outcomes. A) I’m trying to get a point across to these people; B) I’m here to serve these people — to give them a gift of some sort. I smile much more if I’m in “B” mode as opposed to “A” mode.

    • Jim Martin

      I like this Justin. I can see how distinguishing these two might be helpful. Thanks!

      • Justin Chapman

        Thanks, Jim.

  • Mark Kranenburg

    I have a custom home building business in Ottawa Ontario. When I hand over the keys to my clients at the end I always ask them why they picked us to build them their custom home. Last year I had the shock of my life when my clients told me that they picked us because they liked that I smiled. The clients went on to say that they knew I was a trustworthy guy when I looked at them and smiled. It blew my mind the thought that those clients made the biggest financial decision of their lives just because they liked that I smile… ’till I read this article I still had not put 2 and 2 together and realized that I need to smile more.

  • http://thebizfarmer.com/ Angela Moore

    This is an excellent reminder, thanks Michael. I’ve printed it and posted it by my desk! I feel like I’m generally a happy person but I know my face defaults to serious/intense too often. I need to be more aware and intentional about smiling….for the working world and also my home life! =)

  • http://www.aterriblehusband.com/about/ ATerribleHusband

    I totally agree with smiling more. It’s so contagious. You’re so right about that. Great reminder.

  • http://www.MicheleCushatt.com/ Michele Cushatt

    Great advice, Lisa. I’ve read some of the research about the Duchenne smile as well. Good stuff.

  • http://jasonhoover.me/ Jason Hoover

    Funny, I was just talking about this last week with a friend. My “normal” facial expression when I am listening or talking is one that presents itself as being angry to others. It has aggravated me over the years because I would have to explain many times that I am not angry, just listening. I even got in trouble with teachers in school because of it.

    Being more on stage now and connecting with others these past few years I have to purposefully smile (a lot easier now than when I started). I told my friend that God made me that way so I would have to intentionally smile more. :)

  • http://www.jenniferhester.com/ Jenny Hester

    Great info. I love this. A needed reminder for all us.

  • http://trevoracy.com/ Trevor Acy

    I’m the same way Michael. I’ve been told my “default face” is very serious. I’m totally in my own head too much, thinking about what I want to say or listening intently. And like you because I’m not actually angry I don’t think that my appearance might be coming across differently. Thanks for the post!

    • Jim Martin

      Trevor, I also have been told that my default face is very serious. I too can be totally in my own head. Thanks for the reminder.

      • http://trevoracy.com/ Trevor Acy

        It was funny Jim. I had a friend show me a picture of a guy he thought looked a lot like me and said “You too look just alike, except he is happier looking. Your default face is more serious”. I had never once considered a default face or what mine was.

  • http://www.GreaterImpact.org/ Nina Roesner

    Your friend is brilliant! :) I used to do public speaking training with one of the largest training companies in the world, and we did exactly what he does for you :). I have folks that let me know when I get too intense, also – instead of not smiling, I furrow the brow, but smiling even more gets rid of that, to! :) Watching on video is extremely beneficial, also. Even though I still work with speakers and speak often, I noticed recently that I developed a bad habit of saying, “Okay?” when I was thinking. It’s important that no matter WHAT you do that you keep taking lessons and getting coaching – lifetime-learner-style. One of my favorite things about YOU, Michael Hyatt! And why I refer literally everyone to your website. :)

    • http://michaelhyatt.com/ Michael Hyatt

      Thanks, Nina. You are TOO kind!

  • http://www.GreaterImpact.org/ Nina Roesner

    Dale Carnegie used to call this “having sparkle” for someone else. :)

  • Kenneth

    Great podcats, I’ve struggled with this and didn’ t realize the negative impact it was having on others, anything needed to advance RESTORATION’S LIFE RECOVERY MINISTRIES purpose I’m on board. Thanks!

  • http://thetopfivepercent.com/ Stephen W. Anderson

    I have worked a lot on the phone and in many face to face meetings and when I make sure I am smiling, my results are always much different than when I don’t. I can’t remember excatly when I first started working on this, but it has made a big difference in my business over the years.

    • Jim Martin

      Stephen, this is a great reminder whether on the phone or meeting with someone one on one. Thanks.

      • http://thetopfivepercent.com/ Stephen W. Anderson

        Thank you Jim. Smiling has made my days a lot better personally and has been responsible for getting more new clients and serving those I have even more.

      • http://thetopfivepercent.com/ Stephen W. Anderson

        And honestly, it feels better and I usually have a much better day when I remember to smile more.

      • http://thetopfivepercent.com/ Stephen W. Anderson

        And frankly, my day goes much better when I spend more time smiling. Not just in business, but everywhere in y day.

  • Jody

    :)))

    • http://www.jmlalonde.com Joe Lalonde

      Look at that! You’re smiling (-:

  • http://www.qualitylivingmadesimple.com/ Joshua Rivers

    I probably don’t smile as much as I think I do, either. If I had a video of myself, I’d probably have a mug shot. Especially while I’m in my classroom, teaching. I need to work on a smile to help inspire and encourage my students.

    • Jim Martin

      Joshua, not long ago someone took a picture of me while I was in a furniture store. Before seeing the picture, I thought for sure that I was smiling. Then I saw the picture. I wasn’t smiling at all. This was a nice reminder that the way I perceive myself to be isn’t always reality.

  • David Sanford

    Thanks for YOUR great smile above!

    • http://michaelhyatt.com/ Michael Hyatt

      You’re welcome!

  • roband06

    Never thought smiling was that big of a deal. In your defense, leadership is not easy. You’re always on the spot. People seem to always be looking for you to screw up. You’re under a lot scrutiny and a lot rests on your shoulders. Got to be hard to smile under so much stress and responsibility.

    • http://www.jmlalonde.com Joe Lalonde

      That’s true. Leadership can make it hard to smile yet it’s something we can choose to do. It’s our choice whether or not we allow the difficulties of leadership to affect our countenance.

  • http://sukofamily.org/ Caleb

    I live and work in a culture that generally does not promote smiling especially in leadership. I’ve also noticed that in many recent pictures I wasn’t smiling so I guess that culture has rubbed off on my a little bit. Thanks for this post, I’m going to try to do some more smiling even if those around me don’t smile.

    • Jim Martin

      Caleb, I have noticed that it is particularly important to be intentional about this in environments where others don’t smile. I have noticed that in these environments that I sometimes mirror the expressions of others and so don’t smile very much myself. This post reminds me to be more intentional about smiling.

      • http://sukofamily.org/ Caleb

        That’s a great observation, I think I too tend to mirror those around me.

  • Jacob J

    Great Article! I absolutely love everything you said. I have been working on it after listening to a book. I have noticed a difference in my own mood and also on other’s perception of me. My wife shared one time that I look intense when I am on stage. Thanks for sharing your journey.

    • http://www.jmlalonde.com Joe Lalonde

      Whoa, that’s awesome Jacob. Glad you’ve taken the initiative to improve this portion of your life!

  • http://www.kathrynclang.com/ Kathryn C Lang

    Smiling is just good no matter the situation – and it is contagious. If you are smiling when you speak (in person or in recording), your audience will feel it and respond in kind.

  • Brad Jorgensen

    Smiling more is definitely something I need to work on. I like to tell myself that looking serious is just part of my persona and that it helps serve my deadpan sense of humor, but all deadpan usually gets me is a couple of people cracking up amidst a sea of people whose expressions are as blank as my own.

    I worry about looking fake if I have to smile on purpose, but it helps if my material gives me something to smile about. I think that’s part of the reason storytelling is so much more effective than just rattling off facts and statistics. Find stories make you feel good. If your content makes YOU feel something, it’s a lot easier to express it and for your audience to share that feeling.

    I think having someone in the back of the room pointing at the corners of their mouth would loosen me up, too. :)

  • http://www.jmlalonde.com Joe Lalonde

    I know I haven’t been smiling as much lately. That needs to change. Thanks for the reminder.

    I, too, have had people pull me aside to ask me if I was okay since the smiling has gone away. It’s a huge wake-up call!

  • Shirley

    Thank you. Will put this in practice. Right now. Shirley.

  • http://www.douglasarmey.com/ Doug Armey

    Michael,

    I agree with each of your points. But I would add a caution. I think we have all known someone or watched say a preacher whose smile never changes. No matter the topic or the comment their smile is painted on their face. Serious subject or lighthearted they still have the same facial expression.

    The problem is it comes off insincere and put on.

    I know that is not where you are going with this and for most of us smiling too little is the major problem. But I would just encourage to be sincere in the smile not artificial. Then it really will accomplish all the benefits you listed.

  • Diane Belz

    Smiling is so powerful, just watch a baby and the impact his/her smile makes. I like to smile and laugh loudly. My co-executives thought I wasn’t stressed enough! My staff, on the other hand, found that my smiling reduced their stress. Keep smiling Michael.

  • http://www.MikeVeny.com Mike Veny

    Very timely article for me. I’m listening to the Tonya Reiman’s book, “The Power of Body Language” this week and creating systems to take a deeper inventory of my own non-verbal cues. I will your article on my Twitter. Thanks for the great work that you do Michael.

  • http://www.struggletovictory.com/ Kari Scare

    Smiling is definitely a struggle for my introverted self. I an get so locked into my own thought world that I forget to let others in. My kids like to joke about the crease in my forehead that could hold a pencil, which shows up even more when I am in deep thought but that significantly lessens when I smile. So many times, I thought people just didn’t like me, and that’s why they kept their distance. I’m realizing now that it’s because I don’t welcome them with my facial expressions, which begins with a smile. Working on it! So, hard when it’s not your natural tendency, but I realize it’s not about me, it’s about others and the impact I can and should have as a leader. I just can’t get to where I should be without smiling; it’s like a gateway to my leadership potential.

  • Beth Wingate

    I write a big “SMILE” every few pages on my speaking notes for meetings, classes, and presentations – definitely helps!

  • Beth Wingate

    I write a big “SMILE” every few pages on my speaking notes for meetings, classes, and presentations – definitely helps!

  • Ed Underwood

    I hate this post. I love this post. I need this post. I … thanks

    • http://michaelhyatt.com/ Michael Hyatt

      Smile. It’s all good. ;-)

  • Don Shrumm

    Can’t believe it has taken me so long to learn this! same thing with feedback from wife who thought I looked angry when preaching one morning!

  • Eric Pulsifer

    Michael, this is good. But as I read your post, something came to mind. Even if someone can’t see the smile, he can “hear” it. Yeah, another phone story to follow:

    Years ago my Mom taught an employee proper phone manner and she noticed the person sounded gruff, even inapproachable on the phone. Mom finally put a mirror by the phone with some new instructions. When the phone rings, smile before answering.

    Sounds dumb, but you know what? It really works. The smile does come through in a person’s voice and attitude. I’ve led via phone and two-way radio, and found a good smile does create a happier work environment and help staff chemistry. The customers also notice the difference, even when no one sees my facial expressions.

    Chasing this squirrel even further, here’s another thought: I wonder if the idea of smiling holds true with written communications? Pure guesswork, but I’ll put my money on yes.

  • KevinIvey

    Michael, if you smile TOO much, do you run the risk of not being taken seriously or you lack ‘gravitas’? If so, then what’s too much??

    • http://michaelhyatt.com/ Michael Hyatt

      I am not suggesting you walk around with a permanent smile on your face. Most of us couldn’t do that if we wanted to. I’m just recommending that you smile more. I have yet to meet a leader who smiles too much. Thanks.

      • KevinIvey

        Agree wholeheartedly-thanks

  • http://milostopic.com Milos

    Leader of not, we should all relax a bit, smile and enjoy life. Great reasons btw.

  • Jeremy

    Michael,

    Great read! I completely agree with you here. I work in a high school setting as an administrator with around 1200 students and over 100 faculty and staff, and I make it a point to smile in all of my interactions with them. It is a contagious process as more often than not, when the interaction takes place, they smile in return. One of my highest values is influencing others around me to be happy, and smiling is definitely a tool that I use to make this happen.

    Snap! I’m smiling right now as I’m writing this comment!

    Glad I found your site! I am looking forward to reading more!

    Sincerely,

    Jeremy
    createyourleadership.com

  • Akash Agarwal

    Wow! It’s great topic. There has lot of things to learn. I will definitely follow this blog to smile more. Thanks for sharing.