Are You Living Your Own Dream or Someone Else’s?

As I indicated in yesterday’s post, many people drift through life without a plan. For some, things work out fine. For most, they end up far from their intended destination.

A Pier with Boats in Greece - Photo courtesy of ©iStockphoto.com/clubfoto, Image #13426165

Photo courtesy of ©iStockphoto.com/clubfoto

Others, end up living someone else’s dream, the victim of another agenda. This almost happened to a Mexican fisherman in a story told by Tim Ferriss in The 4-Hour Work Week. (This story appears in various forms on the Internet.)

An American businessman took a vacation to a small coastal Mexican village on doctor’s orders. Unable to sleep after an urgent phone call from the office the first morning, he walked out to the pier to clear his head. A small boat with just one fisherman had docked, and inside the boat were several large yellowfin tuna. The American complimented the Mexican on the quality of his fish.

“How long did it take you to catch them?” the American asked.

“Only a little while,” the Mexican replied in surprisingly good English.

“Why don’t you stay out longer and catch more fish?” the American then asked.

“I have enough to support my family and give a few to friends,” the Mexican said as he unloaded them into a basket.

“But … What do you do with the rest of your time?”

The Mexican looked up and smiled. “I sleep late, fish a little, play with my children, take a siesta with my wife, Julia, and stroll into the village each evening, where I sip wine and play guitar with my amigos. I have a full and busy life, señor.”

The American laughed and stood tall. “Sir, I’m a Harvard M.B.A. and can help you. You should spend more time fishing, and with the proceeds, buy a bigger boat. In no time, you could buy several boats with the increased haul. Eventually, you would have a fleet of fishing boats.”

He continued, “Instead of selling your catch to a middleman, you would sell directly to the consumers, eventually opening your own cannery. You would control the product, processing, and distribution. You would need to leave this small coastal fishing village, of course, and move to Mexico City, then to Los Angeles, and eventually New York City, where you could run your expanding enterprise with proper management.”

The Mexican fisherman asked, “But, señor, how long will all this take?”

To which the American replied, “15–20 years. 25 tops.”

“But what then, señor?”

The American laughed and said, “That’s the best part. When the time is right, you would announce an IPO and sell your company stock to the public and become very rich. You would make millions.”

“Millions, señor? Then what?”

“Then you would retire and move to a small coastal fishing village, where you would sleep late, fish a little, play with your kids, take a siesta with your wife, and stroll to the village in the evenings where you could sip wine and play your guitar with your amigos …”

The only thing worse than drifting without a plan is having your plans hijacked by someone else.

You can avoid this unfortunate end and make sure you are fulfilling your unique, God-given calling by answering these three questions:

  1. Am I living my own dream or someone else’s? If we are not careful, we can unconsciously be following someone else’s agenda for our lives. This usually happens because we are unwilling to take responsibility for our own lives.
  2. What is my dream? This can get lost in the complexity of life. As a result, we need to pause and remember our own agenda. What is it that we believe God is calling us to be and to do? What is our passion? What would we do if we were brave?
  3. What can I do now to move in the direction of my dream? The only way to reclaim our dream is to reject all substitutes and begin moving in the direction of our dreams. We don’t have to do anything heroic. We can start small and take baby steps. The issue is to make sure we are making progress toward our goals.

Don’t spend your life fulfilling someone else’s agenda. Accept responsibility for your own life. Pursue your goals and live your dream. Live an intentional life.

Question: Has your life ever been hijacked by someone else’s agenda? You can leave a comment by clicking here.
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  • http://modernservantleader.com/ Ben Lichtenwalner

    Confusing Your Dream w/ Others: I love how you highlighted the common error of confusing someone else’s dream for our own. This was my story after undergrad. I wanted to be the next Donald Trump. Over time, I found my real passion and broke away from the pop culture’s image of “success” to my own. 

    This all reminds me of something my grandfather said in my youth. While spending my summers with him in Maine, he pointed out, “All these tourists…. they slave all year long then come to Maine for vacation. I don’t get it. Why not just move to Maine?” I suspect it is, in part, because Maine’s jobs may not pay as well. It’s not as “exciting” to be from a rural area as a major city. 

    As I pursue my own dream of spreading servant leadership awareness, adoption and action, I’ve come to realize something about my old dreams: Donald Trump never seems very happy. I don’t think I would be either, if I followed someone else’s dreams…

    • http://www.sundijo.com Sundi Jo Graham

      Good point. 

    • http://www.tnealtarver.wordpress.com TNeal

      Great story. I love your statement “resolve to work somewhere they dislike, so they can vacation somewhere they love.”

  • Timothy Fish

    I’ve got nothing against planning. I hardly do anything without a plan, but to imply that forming a life plan somehow equates to fulfilling God’s calling or that a life plan is required to fulfill God’s calling is just wrong. The Bible is full of examples of people who failed because they tried to follow their own plan rather than waiting on the Lord. And many of the great successes of the Bible aren’t people who developed a plan and stuck to it but people who decided they would follow God, even though he lead them down a path they could have never planned for.

    • http://michaelhyatt.com Michael Hyatt

      I don’t disagree that planning without reference to God is wrong. I was actually trying t suggest the opposite—that we need to make sure our plans are in alignment with God’s. 

      By the way, though I believe strongly in the process of life planning, I didn’t mention that specifically in this post.

      • http://www.bigb94.wordpress.com Brandon

        You have written on it before though… :)

      • http://www.jeffrandleman.com Jeff Randleman

        I agree, I think including God in the basic equation is critical.

    • http://www.bigb94.wordpress.com Brandon

      I agree with you. We had a lesson on that at church a few weeks ago. It is awesome to have a dream and a major goal set, but it is important not to focus on that goal primarily. We have to set little goals that help us accomplish our dream. We must focus on living for God second by second…not in terms of years.

      If we do this, then we can be sure we can stay in God’s will and meet our goals and dreams if it is His will.

      Great thoughts!

  • http://www.wol.ca/staff/lyons Charlie Lyons

    Michael, I just read this very illustration in “The Four Hour Work Week” by Tim Ferriss. I know it’s on your recommended reading list but I’m surprised you didn’t even mention it here as the story is almost word for word from his book. I’m just curious but is this illustration one of those stories that nobody knows who it’s original from and thus anybody that uses it is free to use it without attributing ownership? I don’t recall what he said in the book, because maybe it’s not original with him either. Nonetheless, its a good reminder of what really matters in life.

    • http://michaelhyatt.com Michael Hyatt

      Honestly, I forgot that Tim told that story. I found it a couple of other places on the Internet. Thanks for pointing that out. I am attributing it to him now. Thanks.

      • http://www.wol.ca/staff/lyons Charlie Lyons

        No problem, Michael, and I wasn’t calling you out on it. I just remembered reading it in 4HWW not long ago and it struck me as coincidental. I’m finding more and more though, that the more time I invest in life planning, the less instances of coincidence there are in my life. While coincidence and intentionality are not mutually exclusive nor are they enemies, they spend a lot less time together these days. :)

        • http://www.jeffrandleman.com Jeff Randleman

          “I’m finding more and more though, that the more time I invest in life planning, the less instances of coincidence there are in my life. While coincidence and intentionality are not mutually exclusive nor are they enemies, they spend a lot less time together these days.”

          That is a great though for me to mull over for a while! 

  • http://www.christianfaithatwork.com Chris Patton

    Great post Michael!  I have come close to living this myself in a way.

    I am the third generation owner in a family business.  My father made sure I was working in the business from an early age.  In fairness to him, he always gave me the option of working somewhere else, as long as I was working!  He never really pushed me to follow in his footsteps, but I knew he wanted it and as a result, I did as well.

    I went into the family business full time after college.  I was running the business eight years later when I realized I was living the life I thought my father wanted from me, not the life my Father wanted!  I blogged about my decision to walk away from the business here (Why I Decided To Walk Away From The Family Business).

    After seeking God on what my life plan should be, it turns out I was in the right place after all.  I just had the wrong goals and motivations.  Now it has been another 10 years since those days and I am on the right track…with a written life plan!

    Thank you for your help…your life plan book has helped me fine-tune mine!

    • http://www.sundijo.com Sundi Jo Graham

      Great story Chris!

      • http://www.christianfaithatwork.com Chris Patton

        Thanks Sundi Jo!

        Though there are certainly “those” days even now, I am so glad to be doing what I feel is God’s will for me rather than what I FELT was expected of me by my father (even though it was not his fault!).

    • http://www.jeffrandleman.com Jeff Randleman

      Tough choice?  I can imagine it was…  Thanks for sharing such an encouraging story.

      • http://www.christianfaithatwork.com Chris Patton

        It was certainly a tough choice in the short term. I paid for it (and continue to) in several ways.

        But you know when you just KNOW something is right? I really had no other choice when I boiled it down! I did not have a physical appearance by Gabriel or anything like that, but God made it crystal clear to me – through circumstances, His Word, and wise counsel – where He wanted me to go, what He wanted me to do, and how He wanted me to do it!

        I have not enjoyed the entire journey from a comfort or pleasure perspective, but knowing I am truly attempting to follow God’s plan for me is enough. There is a safe feeling in that – regardless of how it appears here and now.

        • http://www.jeffrandleman.com Jeff Randleman

          I agree.  I find I need to take comfort in the fact that God knows what He’s doing way more often than I do. 

  • http://joeandancy.com/ Joe Abraham

    Thanks for yet another great post, Michael! 

    Yes, there were times when my life was ‘hijacked’ by someone else’s agenda. But, at that time, I didn’t know that was a hijack! My intention was to simply follow what the majority were doing (since the majority must be always right, yeh?) No, I didn’t do anything wrong by doing so. But I didn’t do what God has designed me to do! It really took sometime to gain the confidence to do what I am doing today.

    • http://www.bigb94.wordpress.com Brandon

      I bet you are glad you backed away from someone else agenda!

      • http://joeandancy.com/ Joe Abraham

        That’s right, Brandon. I think that’s one of the smartest decisions I have ever made in life!

  • http://gatehouse13.com Jacqui_gatehouse

    Excellent post Michael.  I so agree on taking baby steps to start moving towards your own goal.  Just 15 minutes a day adds up to the quivalent of more than 2 working weeks (of 37 and a half hours) a year.   Make it 60 minutes a day focused on your goal and you’re talking the equivalent of 10 working weeks a year.  Those baby steps can lead to giant leaps towards what you want….

    • http://www.christianfaithatwork.com Chris Patton

      Wow Jacqui! 

      Though that sounds simple, I have never seen the results of that math before.It adds up quickly, doesn’t it?

  • http://uma-maheswaran.blogspot.com/ Uma Maheswaran S

    Great  insights Mike! As I read your post, I am reminded of Steve’s 2005 Stanford speech.  

    “I’m convinced that the only thing that kept me going was that I loved what I did. You’ve got to find what you love. And that is as true for your work as it is for your lovers. Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven’t found it yet, keep looking. Don’t settle. As with all matters of the heart, you’ll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking until you find it. Don’t settle.”

    “Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.”

    Hence, I take your final advice as a golden rule to follow in my life: “Don’t spend your life fulfilling someone else’s agenda.  Accept responsibility for your own life. Pursue your goals and live your dream. Live an intentional life.” 

    Thanks Mike!

    • http://joeandancy.com/ Joe Abraham

      Great decision, Uma! You will find it most rewarding.

      • http://uma-maheswaran.blogspot.com/ Uma Maheswaran S

        Thanks Joe! You are welcome.

        Subject: [mhyatt] Re: Are You Living Your Own Dream or Someone Else’s?

  • http://twitter.com/Francarona Fran Carona

    Once, years ago, I helped a friend open a woman’s clothing store.  We worked hard and overcame many obstacles to get to opening day.  During the day, a woman asked me, “Was this your dream?”  In a split second I realized that not only was this my friend’s dream and not mine, but also that I didn’t even have a dream.  I began to ask myself how I wanted to spend my life and eventually left that business to pursue my dream.  That decision ended a friendship, but I realized that I had to walk my own path even if others could not understand.

  • http://twitter.com/drlizrios Dr. Elizabeth Rios

    What you shared is definitely something I have thought about many a time. I love what I do but I’m actually building someone else’s dream while not giving enough time (because I don’t have it) to my own. Again, I absolutely love what I do but in my heart I want to work on other things. One thing I do note, however,and am very proud of is that my husband and I don’t work on Fridays. We take the day for us. We both could be earning more money but our marriage is more important and we rather share that time now than later because let’s face it, we don’t even know if we will have tomorrow. Thanks always for your thoughts.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=717537511 Agustin Prenga

    thank for this post..it was the right one for today..i had been thinking about what i really wants in life rather than what other want to do with my life..Thanks Michael. I read you almost daily

  • Jack Lynady

    I lived someone else’s script for years. Thankfully God intervened a few years ago when He brought Gary Barkalow’s teaching on calling onto my radar. It’s been huge for me. Nice post.

  • http://twitter.com/NCMissionsMom Karen Mundy

    After 13 years of working for one of the largest banks in America, I quit about 18 months ago. The reason? This was someone else’s “dream” for my life. I was doing all I was “supposed” to do as a single mother of two. Everything except actually be a mother. It was during a time of fasting I heard God tell me it was time to come home. I thought I must be crazy! However, He would not let me have rest until I came home. Since I left we have experienced some rough times financially, however God has always worked out all things for His glory. My car was repossessed, but three months later I was given a minivan. I have recently started my own cleaning business and I babysit three afternoons a week. Now I am home when my daughters get home from school and I don’t miss any school events because I set my own schedule. I have been able to pursue my dream of writing (I have a devotional on FB that is followed currently by about 150 women) and also of speaking to share my testimony. There is no amount of money that would ever make me go back into the corporate world!

  • Anonymous

    I’d say my challenge is accepting that the plan has changed. I think I’ve been executing according to a plan that is no longer valid. I’m considering how the disciples must have felt when called to put down their nets and become fishers of men. What if the call from the comfortable life enjoyed by the Mexican fisherman was, instead of the pursuit of wealth, a call to become a farmer in a region where he could spread God’s word? 

  • http://blog.cyberquill.com Cyberquill

    I”m living no one’s dream, neither mine, nor anybody else’s. 

    • http://www.bigb94.wordpress.com Brandon

      Great comment! We should all be living the dream God has for us!

      • http://blog.cyberquill.com Cyberquill

        That’s not exactly what I meant, but why not?

    • http://www.jeffrandleman.com Jeff Randleman

      Why not?

  • http://successbeginstoday.org/wordpress John Richardson

    One thing we are all given is 24 hours in a day. No more, no less. Most of us have almost total control of our lives, yet we live with so many “I have to’s”. The most common are… I have to go to work, I have to pay the bills, I have to watch the latest episode of… and it goes on and on.

    Wouldn’t it be nice to exchange “I want to,” for all of those “I have to’s.” 

    For most people it’s really possible to change, yet few do.

    I really love what Dave Ramsey does on his show. He cuts through the excuses, and gives people a way to change. To get out of debt and out of the control of others and offers a way to financial freedom.

    If you find yourself saying “I have to,” ask yourself is that really true.

    Maybe it’s time for a change.

    • http://michaelhyatt.com Michael Hyatt

      I agree, John. Dave does a great job on this. So many people get comfortable in staying stuck or even living someone else’s dream. It enables them to avoid responsibility. Thanks.

      • http://successbeginstoday.org/wordpress John Richardson

        To add to a point you made the other day, I think this is a great reason not to broadcast your goals to everyone. Things can change unexpectedly over time and you can find yourself trying to live up to other people’s expectations of you. Your “want to” goals can become “have to” goals even though the situation or purpose is now different.

    • http://www.bigb94.wordpress.com Brandon

      It is actually 23 hrs 56 min…haha!

      Seriously, you mentioned some important things. That is why I really want to follow God’s will for my life…and especially my career. I do not want to be saying “I have to go to work!”. I want to enjoy my career!

      • http://successbeginstoday.org/wordpress John Richardson

        Where do you live, Brandon? We have 24 hours per day out here in California. Maybe things are slower where you are? :-)

        • http://www.bigb94.wordpress.com Brandon

          I am in Florida….

          _____

    • http://www.jeffrandleman.com Jeff Randleman

      A change in perspective and attitude is crucial.  Great thoughts.

  • Curtis O Fletcher

    My first round of exams in graduate school were a dismal failure. I was pursuing a masters in biomechanics at the time and literally got D’s or F’s on the first exam in every class. In one of those classes we next studies a section on motivation and I cam to realize that I was in grad school not because I had a plan, not because I loved the subject (although I did enjoy it) but because my mom wanted me to be. I also realized that THAT motivation would never be enough to get decent grades.

    I decided that my sole motivation for taking the next round of tests would be to prove to my professors that I wasn’t an idiot. I not only got straight A’s on that series but maintined A’s for the rest of the year.

    By taking back ownership of ‘the dream’ even in that small way I significantly changed the outcome. Thanks for the reminder!

    • http://michaelhyatt.com Michael Hyatt

      Great example, Curtis. Thanks for sharing it.

    • http://www.bigb94.wordpress.com Brandon

      Great example! I am learning all about that right now. I’m working towards medical school right now, and it is tough!

      I am maintaining A’s right now, but it is a full-time job!

      • http://joeandancy.com/ Joe Abraham

        Wish you great success, Brandon!

    • http://joeandancy.com/ Joe Abraham

      Powerful life-story, Curtis! What you said is true: when we take ownership of our dreams, we get a rewarding outcome!

  • http://twitter.com/RachelleGardner Rachelle Gardner

    I love this post. Sometimes you can be tempted to let someone else’s agenda for you take precedence over your own agenda. I needed to read this one today. Thanks, Mike!

    • http://michaelhyatt.com Michael Hyatt

      Thanks, Rachelle. It’s a temptation for me, too. I basically just preach to myself and allow others to listen. ;-)

  • http://checkmatesystem.com Mary

    Every time I read that story, I smile.  And thank God that we found our own fishing village!

  • http://tomraines.wordpress.com Tom

    I have been lazy and followed the world’s plan for way to much of my 50 years. Thanks for the tools you provide and I am thankful to know my passion and now I need to be faithful and intentional which strangely enough my two words for 2011. I just need to be  intentional every single day with a step. Thanks Michael!

  • http://www.inamirrordimly.com Ed_Cyzewski

    One of the most helpful practices in my writing career has been to regularly list everything that I’m working on. This helps me see whether I’m actually on target with my goals. I recently reviewed this list and then talked with a friend about one of my projects. Just by explaining the project to him, I realized that it wasn’t part of my long term plan for my life. It’s amazing what clarity we can find by just looking at a list of tasks and asking a few honest questions! Once I clean up some of that clutter, I’m usually in a better place to ask the questions you list here. 

  • DrLindaTravelute

    Excellent Michael! As my two teenage children are beginning to form dreams of their own and make plans for their future, they need to know how to stay on course for their life. I will be sharing your post with them. And I’m sure they will be sharing it with their friends. Just look how many lives you will be impacting! 

  • Agatha Nolen

    My flaw wasn’t to live a cultural dream of success, but instead I tried to please the people closest to me by doing what they wanted me to do whether God had called me to do it or not. In effect, I was a “people pleaser” wanting to be liked by everyone. I had to go back to the well and ask God what he wanted me to do, freeing up time and talent for the right reason. I wrote a blog last week on this topic, too, called OUT OF SCOPE. First finding your spiritual gifts and then doing what God asks, not what others want.
    http://www.agathanolen.com/journal/leadership-principle-out-of-scope.html
    Thanks for the reinforcement, Michael.

  • Lauren Yarger

    You are hitting them out of the park, this week, Michael. Thanks!

  • Carolyne Aarsen

    Interesting post. I’m trying to reconcile the idea of living ‘my dream’ with what I read this morning from The Problem of Pain by C.S. Lewis. He reminds us that ” The settled happiness and security which we all desire, God withholds from us by the very nature of the world; but joy, pleasure, and merriment He has scattered broadcast . . . . Our Father refreshes us on our journey with some pleasant inns (being the joy and pleasure he has scattered through the world) but will not encourage us to mistake them for home.” So my dilemma is realizing that following my dreams must always, always be lockstep with being faithful with what God has given me here on earth as you siad, but not mistaking the dreams I seek to be the fulfillment of my life. Only God can give us that. I know for myself, too often, following my dreams has been equated with seeking what I want and looking for perfection in my life here on earth. I like the concept of living an intentional life – my intention always being to serve God wherever I am and in whatever I am doing at this very moment.

  • http://wheretigerswill.wordpress.com Will Laohoo

    Thanks for writing this, Mike! I’ve often found myself chasing others’ dreams, usually those of family members – parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles, etc.

    Recently, though, I’ve gotten better at seeing evidence of this in my life and being OK with not chasing everyone else’s dreams. Especially when it comes to parents, it’s hard to feel OK breaking away from expectations and being restrictively intentional about living the life God has called me to.

    The story you mentioned is great too – sometimes people try to hijack our dreams, supposedly for our own good, and we need to be discerning enough to recognize what lines up with our direction and what doesn’t. Derek Sivers tells a similar story about himself in Anything You Want.

  • http://www.wonderwomanimnot.com Liz

    This was an excellent post.  I feel like I’m at a crossroads in my career right now and am struggling with this issue.  While I would love to get out of the corporate world, the “bills must get paid”.  I am working towards living my dream but it feels like there are so many obstacles in the way and that the road is so long. 

    The funny thing is that right now I’m living what I thought was my dream.  My goal was to be promoted to a director, which I was about a year and a half ago.  Once I achieved my goal it turned out that it wasn’t all I thought it would be.  I guess we really do need to watch what we wish for because we might get it!

    It’s important to make sure that the dream you are working for is truly your heart’s desire and not just a means to an end. 

  • http://brandonweldy.wordpress.com Brandon Weldy

    I ran cross country in high school and was really good at it. But I knew that God had called me into ministry so I began looking for Bible Colleges to go to. One of my friends did not understand why I would even consider a school without a great cross country program. He thought that if I got an offer from one that I should go there, even if it meant pushing off the call to ministry, for a while anyway. I am so glad that I did not listen to him or any other voices along the way. I love what I do and I cannot imagine being anywhere else or doing anything else!

    • http://www.bigb94.wordpress.com Brandon

      Awesome story!

    • http://www.jeffrandleman.com Jeff Randleman

      I got that same experience with my dad.  He coundn’t understand why I’d choose ministry over something more financially secure.  I had a secure academic scholarship to any school in the state, except private schools.  I chose a Bible college and had to pay for it because it was outside the parameters of my scholarship. I’ve never looked back.

      • http://joeandancy.com/ Joe Abraham

        Jeff, your story is another wonderful example to how God provides when someone decides to follow where He guides!

        • http://www.jeffrandleman.com Jeff Randleman

          It is a great example, but that doesn’t mean it’s always been easy…

  • Chuck Roberts

    A timely and helpful post. As an Enneagram 9 I can all too easily get caught up in pursuing another’s dream or agenda instead of my own. I’ve often thought about the “What is my passion?” question but “What would we do if we were brave?” really nails me today?

  • Rob Sorbo

    My grandparents and parents were missionaries to Indonesia. I remember my grandpa looking me in the eye and saying, “You WILL be the third generation missionary to Indonesia.” I haven’t ruled out going into missions, but if I do, I highly doubt it will be Indonesia. Even though I grew up there, I never felt at home there.

  • http://allthingsloss.com Kevin Mackesy

    This is a great post.  Two questions that really help take one from the theoretical to the practical are “How?” and “When?”  Answering those two questions in light of our dreams will help keep us all on track.

  • Abhijit Kar

    With a few dozen stage performance to my credit even before reaching the age of 16, I always wanted to be an actor. However, being slightly better than the average in studies I became an Engineer, fulfilling my parent’s dream.

    Michael, very few of us get the opportunity to take a conclusive decision at an early stage of life, because, being too young, we’re not considered to be efficient decision makers. Eventually, we end up living the dream of our parents.

    I don’t blame them, because I would have done the same. The first and foremost choice of parents is to ensure a secured future for their children. And that practical compulsion, often, takes the dream out of so many’s life — making way for some one else’s!

  • http://www.sundijo.com Sundi Jo Graham

    My life was hijacked by my grandmother and other relatives several years ago. Then one day my eyes were opened. I was doing what she wanted to do because “that’s the way things are in my family.” But.. I decided that wasn’t the way things were going to be for me. I still get a lot of flack for it, but I can take it. 

    I’m no pursuing God’s vision for me; not my family’s. 

    • http://michaelhyatt.com Michael Hyatt

      Good for you. The best life to live is your own!

    • http://joeandancy.com/ Joe Abraham

      After reading several comments including yours, I am realizing now how much God loves to guide us in His ways even if it is contrary to other popular ways! He is faithful to give us the strength to follow His directions and dreams!

      • http://www.sundijo.com Sundi Jo Graham

        Yes indeed! He’s a good God. 

  • http://www.coryscomments.com Cory Hintz

    Thanks Michael, that is a good story.  Nice post.

  • http://www.bigb94.wordpress.com Brandon

    This is a great post! If we are living another person’s dream, then we need to stop living it!

  • http://twitter.com/JobCoachHQ Douglas Andrews

    Wow, now that gives me something to think about.  Time to re-examine my life plan.
    Thanks!  Love you posts!

    • http://joeandancy.com/ Joe Abraham

      Great, Douglas! Re-examining our life-plans is always a worthy investment!

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Bryan-Van-Slyke/653293402 Bryan Van Slyke

    Great Post! I believe a similar thing happens in our simple decisions during the day too. We can allow the way people to effect us by their attitude, their expressions and just their way of life. I like to say ‘They will not be the verdict on me’. Only God can play that role. 

    Your post takes it to the next level with other people controlling our lives because we are allowing it. It could be people we work with, the way we were raised and so on. Living an intentional life is a great and true statement.

  • Mark

    Not sure if it’s easier, or harder, to transform your life in this direction when you are broke, with no cash flow, no food in the cabinets and hungry kids counting on you. Follow your dream? Sounds like a great plan … when you can afford it. Until then, it’s what makes money, any money, so we can survive. There is not always a ready-made marketplace for ones dreams. I don’t think this is avoiding responsbility. I think it’s taking it, doing what you have to do, regardless of that childhood dream. It may be on hold forever while you fulfill your role as provider and responsible adult. Sorry to be so cynical. It’s just where I am!

    • http://michaelhyatt.com Michael Hyatt

      I certainly understand how you can be in that place. I wasn’t born with a silver spoon in my mouth either. I have been broke and dependent on the generosity of family and friends to get through the month. Sometimes you gave to do whatever it takes to get to the other side.
      But there is another side. The key, I think, is to own where you are and move toward something else. This is a gift human beings have been given—to hope.
      Thanks for your honesty.

    • http://www.christianfaithatwork.com Chris Patton

      Mark, I understand your comments and I agree that you must take responsibility for your family, doing what you have to do.

      Maybe, in some of our discussions today, we could be approaching the definition of “dream” from the wrong perspective.  I cannot speak for you, but for me, I always dreamed of owning multiple, very-successful businesses and having the financial strength to provide well for my family and to give money to whatever cause excited me.

      Years later, I have realized that God had a different picture in mind for me.  Right now, I am living that dream…but it comes with a lot more frustration than I ever pictured in MY dream!  At the same time, I am more at ease in living out His “dream” for me than I believe I ever would be in the dream I originally pictured.  There are certainly some similarities in the two dreams, but I would choose His, with the frustrations, any day!

      Again, I cannot speak for you, but I would encourage you to simply seek His picture for you.  It may not look exactly like you may picture in your own dream, but if it is His, it will be better!

      Consider Joseph.  God gave him a dream that was spectacular…his whole family bowing down to him.  However, as he believed in that dream and followed it, the journey was horrible!  I can only imagine his thoughts at various points in his journey.  At the same time, I bet there was a form of contentment in him as well.  Obviously, the end of that story is almost too good to be true!  But with God, they all will be.

      Sorry for the rant, but I want you to see past where you are now.  Trust God to do what He says He will do.  He is worth trusting.

      • http://michaelhyatt.com Michael Hyatt

        Thanks for the example of Joseph. I think that is a great application.

  • Abhijit Kar

    Hi Michael, further to my earlier comment, thanks for inspiring me to write this post: http://www.abhijitkar.com/2011/10/stop-living-someone-elses-dream-live.html

    • http://michaelhyatt.com Michael Hyatt

      Good for you. Excellent post!

  • http://www.hope101.net Lori Tracy Boruff

    Two thoughts:
    1) It’s challenging to live ‘your’ dream in the midst of marriage and raising children. Often I’ve  hit resistance and face interruptions from family that you expect to support you. That could be another blog!
    2) God highjacked my dreams because my dreams were too small. Once I said yes to His dream which is beyond what I imagined – I began to experience peace and favor like never before. He is growing me into His God-sized dream and I’m doing it all by faith! That way I can never take the credit.

    Your thoughts are affirmation to keep pressing in and on! Thanks Michael.

    • http://www.jeffrandleman.com Jeff Randleman

      I completely understand your first point!  My wife and I have 5 young children.  I am continually reminding myself to remember Heather’s dreams as well as mine!  In fact, I keep a picture of my wife as a 1st grade student onmy desk.  As a young child she had dreams and hopes for her life.  My prayer daily is that I am being the fulfillment of those dreams in her life, or at least helping her to achieve them.

      I guess what I’m getting at is stay strong and encouraged as a wife and mother.  What you are doing is well appreciated, even if us husbands don’t often say it clearly.

      • Ben Holbrook

        Great point Jeff,

        I intend to make that my daily prayer – or at least ask myself am i doing that regularly?

        • http://www.jeffrandleman.com Jeff Randleman

          I have to continually do exactly that.

      • http://www.christianfaithatwork.com Chris Patton

        Now that is a fantastic idea!  I will be looking for that picture of my wife when I get home tonight!

        Thanks for the inspiration!

        • http://www.jeffrandleman.com Jeff Randleman

          No problem!  It wasn’t my idea originally.  I can’t even remember where I learned of it.  But it’s a good one!

    • http://michaelhyatt.com Michael Hyatt

      Thanks, Lori. Great comment!

  • http://www.jeffrandleman.com Jeff Randleman

    I am living my dream.  I devloped the desire to be a youth minister when I was a freshman in high school.  I started in youth ministry in college, in 1991, and have been doing it ever since.  I have no desire to use youth ministry as a “stepping stone” into “real ministry” (whatever that means…).  I’m doing what God has called me to do, what I have a passion to do, and what I’m gifted to do.  What could be better?

    That said, I do have other dreams that I would like to fulfill that seem to get put on the back burner, many times by myself or by others, but sometimes by God’s own doing.  One of those is writing.  I’ve finally reached a point where I am able to write.  Still not as much as I would like, but more than I ever have been able to.  My dream is coming back into my reach.

    Thanks for the great info! 

  • http://www.jmlalonde.com Joe Lalonde

    I love the story about the fisherman and the MBA. It is amazing how we want to take the long way to get to the finish line.

  • http://twitter.com/danalbyers Dana McCallian Byers

    My life hasn’t been hijacked by someone else’s dream per se, but I recently realized that I’m letting “good enough” take the place of what is “best” for me. 

  • http://virtualeventsuccess.com Leesa Barnes

    My life hasn’t been hijacked by others, my business strategy was. I bought TONS of homestudy programs from the gurus who told me I had to design & send out a weekly ezine, put together a daily social media content calendar, be all polished and poised when recording video, write ezine articles, launch a blog, etc., etc., etc.

    So, in 2010 when my 3-day workshop didn’t fill and I was on the hook for thousands of dollars in cancellation fees, I cried, I closed my laptop for 3-months and went on my own spiritual journey. I didn’t fly off to India or anything. Instead of opening my laptop, I opened my Bible and asked God what was next.

    This year has been a year of transition, not away from what I’m doing, but away from consulting with the gurus. I’m on this journey to add more “me” into my business and the first step was the relaunch of my blog. Next will be to add more humour to my business. I love to laugh, I love funny stories and that’s what I’ll share with my community. I actually have a hard time writing, so I’m going to do more videos because, well, that’s me.

    Timothy Fish said that people in the Bible who rushed to take action instead of waiting for God met with difficulty. My journey isn’t over. But I’m on my way to remove others in my business who said I had to do things a certain because I now acknowledge that their way isn’t my way.

  • Anonymous

    Love this story by Ferriss.  My wife and I used to work with teens a lot.  It was very frustrating see them make decisions that limited their future options because of influences of friends, family, and educators.  

    • Anonymous

      Oops.  Hit enter too quickly.  I was going to add that we’ve tried to tell our children often, “don’t make decisions about careers based on what you think we want you to do, but what you think God has prepared for you to do.”  As someone has said, if they make God happy, it will make me happy.

      • http://www.irunurun.com/blog/ Travis Dommert

        Good advice!

  • Anonymous

    I echo that we should move in the direction of our dreams and KEEP moving in that direction, especially if we are talking about writing and publishing.  I think the publishing world is so very discouraging, and every day, I hear that little voice saying, “You don’t have a chance, Heather.”  But guess what?  I’ll keep querying agents and keep writing because I choose to move in the direction of the dream.  It’s better than letting the dream die, right? 

    • http://michaelhyatt.com Michael Hyatt

      Absolutely. I could tell you so many stories of well-known authors who almost quit before someone said, “yes.” I personally had 28 publishers turn me down before getting one to say yes. It’s all part of the journey!

      • Anonymous

        I needed to hear that!  Thank you! 

        • http://profile.yahoo.com/A3LLCY3GK3I632T3HQFXKDIUPI Aziegbe

          My Name is joy.I never believed in Love Spells or Magics until I met this special spell caster once when i went to Africa to Execute some business..He is really powerful.The woman i wanted to marry left me 2 weeks to our weeding ceremony and my life was upside down.she was with me for 3 years and i really love her so much..she left me for another man with no reason..when i called her she never picked up my calls and she don’t want to see me around her…so,when i told the man what happened.he helped me to do some readings,and after the readings he made me to realize that the other man has done some spells over my wife and that is the reason why she left me..he told me he will help me to cast a spell that bring her back.At first i was skeptical but i just gave it a try…In 5 days,she called me herself and came to me apologizing..I cant believe she can ever come back to me again but now i am happy she’s back and we are married now with lovely kid and we live as a happy family..Am posting this to the forum incise anyone needs the man.His email address is vovolaspellcast@gmail.com

  • http://www.facebook.com/stephanie.brainard1 Stephanie Brainard

    Well, I have spent the last two years reevaluating my dreams and goals because I didn’t like the fulfillment of a dream I thought I had.  So now I have realized that I like nurturing people and making their lives better through knowledge, support, music etc.

    Starting a blog has been one of the ways I can hopefully enrich the lives of others.

  • http://www.chrisbranscome.com Chris Branscome

    This gives me hope, it encourages and motivates me….and yet it also discourages me.  I’m in the throes of trying to pursue a career change, but there are multiple barriers in my way, many of which are supremely practical.  The largest of those barriers is the fact that my wife is a stay at home mom, so I am the sole source of income (this is a HUGE blessing, but it means that I can’t stop working in order to take time to develop and implement a new plan).  The second is that since I’ve been in my current career for 10 years, all of my previous experience – which is more along the lines of what I hope to pursue again – is at least 10 years old, and was with companies that no longer exist.  This makes both an attractive resume and a portfolio difficult.

    It’s tricky to pursue a dream in a responsible way, moreso when you have a family to support, and given that connections are often integral to achieving a dream, it also takes time to make and build upon those connections.

    Often, people decide to pursue a dream when they’re burned out in their current situation, and it’s difficult to make wise choices and to stay motivated when you’re in the midst of burnout. 

    You don’t happen to know of an employer in the Nashville area looking for a music composer or willing to give someone a chance to get back into a graphic design career after a ten year hiatus, do you? ;)

    • http://michaelhyatt.com Michael Hyatt

      I don’t, unfortunately. But all these challenges are part of the process. I think what God is really after is the change that occurs in us as we pursue our dreams. This only happens by overcoming obstacles.

    • http://www.irunurun.com/blog/ Travis Dommert

      Chris – thank you for sharing your situation. Having been there…stuck…I prayed about it and looked hard for direction.  I wanted to rip the band-aid so badly, but needed to support my family (I think Jim Collins refers to this type of quandary of maintaining faith while also keeping site of reality as the Stockdale Paradox).  I was sort of paralyzed.

      God was at work.  That Sunday our sermon was on risk-taking.  Then I went to Sunday school and the topic was…drumroll…RISK TAKING.  I shared my situation at Sunday school one day and asked if people thought I needed to have more faith and just JUMP (quit).  

      A wiser man took it differently.  He told me to commit to the change, even if it involved risk, especially if I felt called to do it.  But, he advised beginning by investing time in the new pursuit, without quitting the “day job”.  

      I ended up starting part-time with a new venture, then cut back in the other…maintaining two partial income streams until the new position was solid enough to make the leap.

      Not sure this would work for you, but it was really helpful advice for me!

      Travis Dommert
      irunurun

  • Morrowp

    I am living my dream and it is sooo beautiful

  • http://twitter.com/jamespinnick7 James Pinnick

    “Don’t spend your life fulfilling someone else’s agenda.”

    I really enjoy how you just hit the nail everytime for me with a hammer to the head.

    Thanks for making me think.

    James
    Author-The Last Seven Pages
    http://www.jamespinnick.com
     

  • http://twitter.com/Youthconnex Nigel Williamson

    Mike I really am feeling this post. I have come so close to this before that just  seeing it posted by someone else is so inspiring. This is a easy path to get caught up on and I am truly grateful I found my way and I am living my dream.

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