Does God Send Negative People into Our Lives?

As a leader, it seems that no matter what you do, a few people will find fault. Even if you were standing on a corner, handing out free money, someone would complain.

Photo courtesy of ©iStockphoto.com/Vasko, Image #1624654

Photo courtesy of ©iStockphoto.com/Vasko
  • “What about the people that didn’t know you were going to hand out free money? You’re not being fair.”
  • “You’re not giving away enough to make a difference!”
  • “You’re encouraging laziness!”

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The list goes on.

Honestly, I used to resent these types of negative people. They sometimes still hurt my feelings—especially the ones that call my motives into question. But over the years my skin has gotten thicker. (No comments on my midriff area, please!)

However, I have come to the conclusion that nothing truly good goes unopposed. Jesus Himself said,

Blessed are you when they revile and persecute you, and say all kinds of evil against you falsely for My sake. Rejoice and be exceedingly glad, for great is your reward in heaven, for so they persecuted the prophets who were before you.” (Matthew 5:11, 12)

But what if it’s more than God merely allowing negative into our lives? What if he actually sends them? Before you dismiss this idea, consider two stories from the Bible.

The patriarch Joseph was ridiculed, kidnapped, and then sold into slavery by his own brothers. He was later falsely accused of attempting to seduce the wife of a high-ranking, Egyptian official. He spent several years in prison and was eventually vindicated.

He could have been very angry with his brothers. Years later, when he finally meets up with them again, he is in a position of tremendous power. He could easily have had his revenge. Instead, Joseph said to them,

Do not be afraid, for am I in the place of God? But as for you, you meant evil against me; but God meant it for good, in order to bring it about as it is this day, to save many people alive. Now therefore, do not be afraid; I will provide for you and your little ones.” (Genesis 50:19–20)

Or consider King David, who was chased out of Jerusalem by his treasonous son, Absalom. If that weren’t bad enough, a character named Shimei meets him on the road and starts throwing rocks at him. He curses the king and reminds him of all his sins. He says,

Come out! Come out! You bloodthirsty man, you rogue! The LORD has brought upon you all the blood of the house of Saul, in whose place you have reigned; and the LORD has delivered the kingdom into the hand of Absalom your son. So now you are caught in your own evil, because you are a bloodthirsty man!” (2 Samuel 16:7, 8)

Abishai, one of David’s servants, said, “Why should this dead dog curse my lord the king? Please, let me go over and take off his head!” But note how David responded:

Let him alone, and let him curse; for so the LORD has ordered him. It may be that the LORD will look on my affliction, and that the LORD will repay me with good for his cursing this day.” (2 Samuel 16:11, 12).

It’s easy to resent negative people. But what if God has a deep and important purpose for sending them—something that He intends for our good because He truly loves us.

Question: What possibility is present when you encounter negative or difficult people that is not present at other times? You can leave a comment by clicking here.
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  • http://flowerdust.net/ anne jackson

    their pain…and the opportunity to help heal them with soothing compassion.

  • http://flowerdust.net anne jackson

    their pain…and the opportunity to help heal them with soothing compassion.

  • http://flowerdust.net/ anne jackson

    their pain…and the opportunity to help heal them with soothing compassion.

  • http://www.lawrencewilson.com/ Lawrence W. Wilson

    Occasionally I’ve found that negative people are bearers of truth. In that sense, I suppose they are a “gift” from God–anyone who helps us see ourselves accurately can be.

    • troooothsayer

      kill the fuckers

  • http://www.lawrencewilson.com/ Lawrence W. Wilson

    Occasionally I’ve found that negative people are bearers of truth. In that sense, I suppose they are a “gift” from God–anyone who helps us see ourselves accurately can be.

  • http://www.lawrencewilson.com Lawrence W. Wilson

    Occasionally I’ve found that negative people are bearers of truth. In that sense, I suppose they are a “gift” from God–anyone who helps us see ourselves accurately can be.

  • http://www.milwaukeedad.blogspot.com/ Gary Branger

    Thanks Michael. I was just thinking last evening about wanting to tell my boss how much I really like it when we disagree. Not because we do it so often, rather because it seems so infrequent. I realize this may not seem the same as people who bring negativity into your life. However, conflict or disagreement is often thought of as a negative interaction when in fact it is a tremendous opportunity for someone to grow. It doesn’t have to mean someone is wrong. They may have never looked at it from the angle of the person they are disagreeing with before. This is my point with my boss. Great leaders know this and learn from the opportunity.

  • http://www.milwaukeedad.blogspot.com/ Gary Branger

    Thanks Michael. I was just thinking last evening about wanting to tell my boss how much I really like it when we disagree. Not because we do it so often, rather because it seems so infrequent. I realize this may not seem the same as people who bring negativity into your life. However, conflict or disagreement is often thought of as a negative interaction when in fact it is a tremendous opportunity for someone to grow. It doesn’t have to mean someone is wrong. They may have never looked at it from the angle of the person they are disagreeing with before. This is my point with my boss. Great leaders know this and learn from the opportunity.

  • http://www.milwaukeedad.blogspot.com Gary Branger

    Thanks Michael. I was just thinking last evening about wanting to tell my boss how much I really like it when we disagree. Not because we do it so often, rather because it seems so infrequent. I realize this may not seem the same as people who bring negativity into your life. However, conflict or disagreement is often thought of as a negative interaction when in fact it is a tremendous opportunity for someone to grow. It doesn’t have to mean someone is wrong. They may have never looked at it from the angle of the person they are disagreeing with before. This is my point with my boss. Great leaders know this and learn from the opportunity.

  • Wanda Brewer

    When you have God first place in your life it is so much easier to react to the naysayer with mercy. The timing of your post Michael, is amazing as I made a decision just yesterday, that the time has come to confront a very negative person in my life, someone who feels free to pick up the phone and blast me for the adversity in his life. He has so much for to give praise but chooses to only see what he has not. God placed it on my heart that I am not doing him any favors by remaining mum.

  • Wanda Brewer

    When you have God first place in your life it is so much easier to react to the naysayer with mercy. The timing of your post Michael, is amazing as I made a decision just yesterday, that the time has come to confront a very negative person in my life, someone who feels free to pick up the phone and blast me for the adversity in his life. He has so much for to give praise but chooses to only see what he has not. God placed it on my heart that I am not doing him any favors by remaining mum.

  • http://www.lawrencewilson.com/ Lawrence W. Wilson

    Occasionally I've found that negative people are bearers of truth. In that sense, I suppose they are a "gift" from God–anyone who helps us see ourselves accurately can be.

  • http://www.milwaukeedad.blogspot.com/ Gary Branger

    Thanks Michael. I was just thinking last evening about wanting to tell my boss how much I really like it when we disagree. Not because we do it so often, rather because it seems so infrequent. I realize this may not seem the same as people who bring negativity into your life. However, conflict or disagreement is often thought of as a negative interaction when in fact it is a tremendous opportunity for someone to grow. It doesn't have to mean someone is wrong. They may have never looked at it from the angle of the person they are disagreeing with before. This is my point with my boss. Great leaders know this and learn from the opportunity.

  • http://www.hickorywithepc.org/Pastor/pastorblog/pastorblog.php Ed Eubanks

    Very good points, Michael. I believe that there are times when God sends “negative” people into our lives. I would stop short of claiming that God ordains the persecution of His people, but certain portions of Scripture (including those you’ve mentioned) do suggest that He sometimes sends an opponent to challenge and perfect His people.

    We must be careful, though, not to write off our opposition. Jesus’ beatific proclamation about persecution can be a great encouragement that I am doing what is right in God’s eyes, and I should continue. But there are times when I need to hear the challenge– and true correction– that a critic brings, even if his manner of bringing critique is not altogether loving or kind.

    A wise friend once said, “some people are persecuted for their beliefs; others are persecuted because they are jerks. Be sure you’re not in the latter.”

  • http://www.hickorywithepc.org/Pastor/pastorblog/pastorblog.php Ed Eubanks

    Very good points, Michael. I believe that there are times when God sends “negative” people into our lives. I would stop short of claiming that God ordains the persecution of His people, but certain portions of Scripture (including those you’ve mentioned) do suggest that He sometimes sends an opponent to challenge and perfect His people.

    We must be careful, though, not to write off our opposition. Jesus’ beatific proclamation about persecution can be a great encouragement that I am doing what is right in God’s eyes, and I should continue. But there are times when I need to hear the challenge– and true correction– that a critic brings, even if his manner of bringing critique is not altogether loving or kind.

    A wise friend once said, “some people are persecuted for their beliefs; others are persecuted because they are jerks. Be sure you’re not in the latter.”

  • http://www.hickorywithepc.org/Pastor/pastorblog/pastorblog.php Ed Eubanks

    Very good points, Michael. I believe that there are times when God sends “negative” people into our lives. I would stop short of claiming that God ordains the persecution of His people, but certain portions of Scripture (including those you’ve mentioned) do suggest that He sometimes sends an opponent to challenge and perfect His people.

    We must be careful, though, not to write off our opposition. Jesus’ beatific proclamation about persecution can be a great encouragement that I am doing what is right in God’s eyes, and I should continue. But there are times when I need to hear the challenge– and true correction– that a critic brings, even if his manner of bringing critique is not altogether loving or kind.

    A wise friend once said, “some people are persecuted for their beliefs; others are persecuted because they are jerks. Be sure you’re not in the latter.”

  • http://bloggin-dazs.blogspot.com/ Angie

    Good thoughts. As you said, sometimes God uses the negative people to help us develop thicker skins–which may come in handy when the real trials come our way!

    As others have pointed out, there is always the possibility that negative people either 1) have a valid point, despite their bad attitudes, 2) aren’t actually being negative–you just don’t like what it is they have to say. An example of the second point is Ahab referring to Elijah as the “troubler of Israel.” Elijah usually didn’t have nice things to say about Ahab, Jezebel, or Israel–but the problem was not that Elijah was a “negative” person, but that his listeners didn’t like God’s word to them through him.

    When negativity comes our way, it’s a good idea to take a step back before responding and consider whether this is someone whose message should cheerfully be ignored, or whether we need to put aside our own resistance to the message for a moment and consider whether there’s anything valid in what they say. If God can use Balaam’s ass to deliver his message, he can use anyone! :-)

  • http://bloggin-dazs.blogspot.com/ Angie

    Good thoughts. As you said, sometimes God uses the negative people to help us develop thicker skins–which may come in handy when the real trials come our way!

    As others have pointed out, there is always the possibility that negative people either 1) have a valid point, despite their bad attitudes, 2) aren’t actually being negative–you just don’t like what it is they have to say. An example of the second point is Ahab referring to Elijah as the “troubler of Israel.” Elijah usually didn’t have nice things to say about Ahab, Jezebel, or Israel–but the problem was not that Elijah was a “negative” person, but that his listeners didn’t like God’s word to them through him.

    When negativity comes our way, it’s a good idea to take a step back before responding and consider whether this is someone whose message should cheerfully be ignored, or whether we need to put aside our own resistance to the message for a moment and consider whether there’s anything valid in what they say. If God can use Balaam’s ass to deliver his message, he can use anyone! :-)

  • http://bloggin-dazs.blogspot.com/ Angie

    Good thoughts. As you said, sometimes God uses the negative people to help us develop thicker skins–which may come in handy when the real trials come our way!

    As others have pointed out, there is always the possibility that negative people either 1) have a valid point, despite their bad attitudes, 2) aren’t actually being negative–you just don’t like what it is they have to say. An example of the second point is Ahab referring to Elijah as the “troubler of Israel.” Elijah usually didn’t have nice things to say about Ahab, Jezebel, or Israel–but the problem was not that Elijah was a “negative” person, but that his listeners didn’t like God’s word to them through him.

    When negativity comes our way, it’s a good idea to take a step back before responding and consider whether this is someone whose message should cheerfully be ignored, or whether we need to put aside our own resistance to the message for a moment and consider whether there’s anything valid in what they say. If God can use Balaam’s ass to deliver his message, he can use anyone! :-)

  • Wanda Brewer

    When you have God first place in your life it is so much easier to react to the naysayer with mercy. The timing of your post Michael, is amazing as I made a decision just yesterday, that the time has come to confront a very negative person in my life, someone who feels free to pick up the phone and blast me for the adversity in his life. He has so much for to give praise but chooses to only see what he has not. God placed it on my heart that I am not doing him any favors by remaining mum.

    • Jeffparker

      Wanda, check out the book Killing the Church

  • http://www.hickorywithepc.org/Pastor/pastorblog/pastorblog.php Ed Eubanks

    Very good points, Michael. I believe that there are times when God sends "negative" people into our lives. I would stop short of claiming that God ordains the persecution of His people, but certain portions of Scripture (including those you've mentioned) do suggest that He sometimes sends an opponent to challenge and perfect His people.

    We must be careful, though, not to write off our opposition. Jesus' beatific proclamation about persecution can be a great encouragement that I am doing what is right in God's eyes, and I should continue. But there are times when I need to hear the challenge– and true correction– that a critic brings, even if his manner of bringing critique is not altogether loving or kind.

    A wise friend once said, "some people are persecuted for their beliefs; others are persecuted because they are jerks. Be sure you're not in the latter."

  • http://bloggin-dazs.blogspot.com/ Angie

    Good thoughts. As you said, sometimes God uses the negative people to help us develop thicker skins–which may come in handy when the real trials come our way!

    As others have pointed out, there is always the possibility that negative people either 1) have a valid point, despite their bad attitudes, 2) aren't actually being negative–you just don't like what it is they have to say. An example of the second point is Ahab referring to Elijah as the "troubler of Israel." Elijah usually didn't have nice things to say about Ahab, Jezebel, or Israel–but the problem was not that Elijah was a "negative" person, but that his listeners didn't like God's word to them through him.

    When negativity comes our way, it's a good idea to take a step back before responding and consider whether this is someone whose message should cheerfully be ignored, or whether we need to put aside our own resistance to the message for a moment and consider whether there's anything valid in what they say. If God can use Balaam's ass to deliver his message, he can use anyone! :-)

  • Mandy Mullinix

    I think we as humans vacillate between being positive and negative. I fancy myself a “positive person.” But if I had a film crew taping my every word, I wonder how many statements I make that could be taken as negative when the film was played back. I bet it would surprise us all to see how negativity creeps in our words.

    Just last night, I was talking to a good friend of mine. I wanted to offer some insight into a situation she’s going through. However, though I tried to be delicate, I know what I said was not what she wanted to hear. I know that she took what I said as negative, though my intentions were good. Andy Andrews made a good comment the other day. He said that we tend to judge ourselves by our intentions, but others by their actions. We often mean well when we say things that are construed by others as negative.

  • Mandy Mullinix

    I think we as humans vacillate between being positive and negative. I fancy myself a “positive person.” But if I had a film crew taping my every word, I wonder how many statements I make that could be taken as negative when the film was played back. I bet it would surprise us all to see how negativity creeps in our words.

    Just last night, I was talking to a good friend of mine. I wanted to offer some insight into a situation she’s going through. However, though I tried to be delicate, I know what I said was not what she wanted to hear. I know that she took what I said as negative, though my intentions were good. Andy Andrews made a good comment the other day. He said that we tend to judge ourselves by our intentions, but others by their actions. We often mean well when we say things that are construed by others as negative.

  • http://www.davidteems.com/wordpress David Teems

    One thing to keep in mind, or maybe a perspective to observe: to be careful in our judgments. It is one thing to be truly negative, and another thing altogether simply to disagree. They are not the same thing. It is the truly wise who know the difference. I’m sure some measure of humility is involved in the assessment. One we can do without. The other may be more necessary to us than we wish to admit.

  • http://www.davidteems.com/wordpress David Teems

    One thing to keep in mind, or maybe a perspective to observe: to be careful in our judgments. It is one thing to be truly negative, and another thing altogether simply to disagree. They are not the same thing. It is the truly wise who know the difference. I’m sure some measure of humility is involved in the assessment. One we can do without. The other may be more necessary to us than we wish to admit.

  • http://www.davidteems.com/wordpress David Teems

    One thing to keep in mind, or maybe a perspective to observe: to be careful in our judgments. It is one thing to be truly negative, and another thing altogether simply to disagree. They are not the same thing. It is the truly wise who know the difference. I’m sure some measure of humility is involved in the assessment. One we can do without. The other may be more necessary to us than we wish to admit.

  • http://www.parablesofaprodigalworld.com/ raffi shahinian

    In answer to the question, quite simply, the possibility to love…the real, risky, dangerous, Jesus-shaped love.

    Grace and Peace,
    Raffi

  • http://www.parablesofaprodigalworld.com/ raffi shahinian

    In answer to the question, quite simply, the possibility to love…the real, risky, dangerous, Jesus-shaped love.

    Grace and Peace,
    Raffi

  • http://www.parablesofaprodigalworld.com raffi shahinian

    In answer to the question, quite simply, the possibility to love…the real, risky, dangerous, Jesus-shaped love.

    Grace and Peace,
    Raffi

  • Mandy Mullinix

    I think we as humans vacillate between being positive and negative. I fancy myself a "positive person." But if I had a film crew taping my every word, I wonder how many statements I make that could be taken as negative when the film was played back. I bet it would surprise us all to see how negativity creeps in our words.

    Just last night, I was talking to a good friend of mine. I wanted to offer some insight into a situation she's going through. However, though I tried to be delicate, I know what I said was not what she wanted to hear. I know that she took what I said as negative, though my intentions were good. Andy Andrews made a good comment the other day. He said that we tend to judge ourselves by our intentions, but others by their actions. We often mean well when we say things that are construed by others as negative.

  • http://www.davidteems.com/wordpress David Teems

    One thing to keep in mind, or maybe a perspective to observe: to be careful in our judgments. It is one thing to be truly negative, and another thing altogether simply to disagree. They are not the same thing. It is the truly wise who know the difference. I'm sure some measure of humility is involved in the assessment. One we can do without. The other may be more necessary to us than we wish to admit.

  • http://www.parablesofaprodigalworld.com/ raffi shahinian

    In answer to the question, quite simply, the possibility to love…the real, risky, dangerous, Jesus-shaped love.

    Grace and Peace,
    Raffi

  • http://profile.typekey.com/khurt/ Khürt

    “Whatever you do will be insignificant, but it is very important that you do it.” – Mahatma Gandhi

  • http://profile.typekey.com/khurt/ Khürt

    “Whatever you do will be insignificant, but it is very important that you do it.” – Mahatma Gandhi

  • http://profile.typekey.com/khurt/ Khürt

    “Whatever you do will be insignificant, but it is very important that you do it.” – Mahatma Gandhi

  • http://www.michaelhyatt.com/ Michael S. Hyatt

    @Mandy: I love the Andy Andrews quote. So true.

  • http://www.michaelhyatt.com Michael S. Hyatt

    @Mandy: I love the Andy Andrews quote. So true.

  • http://profile.typekey.com/khurt/ Khürt

    "Whatever you do will be insignificant, but it is very important that you do it." – Mahatma Gandhi

  • http://www.michaelhyatt.com/ Michael S. Hyatt

    @Mandy: I love the Andy Andrews quote. So true.

  • http://www.pearlgirls.info/ Margaret McSweeney

    Hi, Mike.

    Negativity does present a possibility: Grace. As the wife of a former political candidate, I have experienced firsthand the bombardment of the typical negative ads and negative comments of a campaign. However, through that process, I learned an important lesson. I call it The Peanut Butter Grace Principle: Spread grace generously and cover something negative with a positive reponse.

  • http://www.pearlgirls.info Margaret McSweeney

    Hi, Mike.

    Negativity does present a possibility: Grace. As the wife of a former political candidate, I have experienced firsthand the bombardment of the typical negative ads and negative comments of a campaign. However, through that process, I learned an important lesson. I call it The Peanut Butter Grace Principle: Spread grace generously and cover something negative with a positive reponse.

  • Jake

    Good post, Mike. Even a cracked mirror will show dirt on our face. When I am badly criticized, even by a profane person, I ask God to show me what part of what was said was true. Then I try to fix that part, but the rest of it, I let roll off. I have discovered that if you really want to know the truth about yourself, ask someone who doesn’t like you. Your friends may not tell you the frank honest truth, but your enemies will — with pleasure. Some who have been brutally frank to me have, in the end, turned out to be my friends. A frank honest person is hard to come by. I happen to like that in a person, so when I run up on one, friend or foe, I tend to hang on to them, and they are either amazed or surprised. Most of them don’t have many friends and get very little appreciation for what they do best.

    I also agree with you that God sends — or judiciously permits this type to come along periodically in our lives. The bigger the job He has in mind for us to do, the more practice He seems to send our way. I also recall Him referring to Nebuchadnezzar as his “servant” and Babylon as his “battleax”.

  • Jake

    Good post, Mike. Even a cracked mirror will show dirt on our face. When I am badly criticized, even by a profane person, I ask God to show me what part of what was said was true. Then I try to fix that part, but the rest of it, I let roll off. I have discovered that if you really want to know the truth about yourself, ask someone who doesn’t like you. Your friends may not tell you the frank honest truth, but your enemies will — with pleasure. Some who have been brutally frank to me have, in the end, turned out to be my friends. A frank honest person is hard to come by. I happen to like that in a person, so when I run up on one, friend or foe, I tend to hang on to them, and they are either amazed or surprised. Most of them don’t have many friends and get very little appreciation for what they do best.

    I also agree with you that God sends — or judiciously permits this type to come along periodically in our lives. The bigger the job He has in mind for us to do, the more practice He seems to send our way. I also recall Him referring to Nebuchadnezzar as his “servant” and Babylon as his “battleax”.

  • http://www.pearlgirls.info/ Margaret McSweeney

    Hi, Mike.

    Negativity does present a possibility: Grace. As the wife of a former political candidate, I have experienced firsthand the bombardment of the typical negative ads and negative comments of a campaign. However, through that process, I learned an important lesson. I call it The Peanut Butter Grace Principle: Spread grace generously and cover something negative with a positive reponse.

  • Jake

    Good post, Mike. Even a cracked mirror will show dirt on our face. When I am badly criticized, even by a profane person, I ask God to show me what part of what was said was true. Then I try to fix that part, but the rest of it, I let roll off. I have discovered that if you really want to know the truth about yourself, ask someone who doesn't like you. Your friends may not tell you the frank honest truth, but your enemies will — with pleasure. Some who have been brutally frank to me have, in the end, turned out to be my friends. A frank honest person is hard to come by. I happen to like that in a person, so when I run up on one, friend or foe, I tend to hang on to them, and they are either amazed or surprised. Most of them don't have many friends and get very little appreciation for what they do best.

    I also agree with you that God sends — or judiciously permits this type to come along periodically in our lives. The bigger the job He has in mind for us to do, the more practice He seems to send our way. I also recall Him referring to Nebuchadnezzar as his "servant" and Babylon as his "battleax".

  • http://building-his-body.blogspot.com/ Anne Lang Bundy

    “And if you do good to those who do good to you, what credit is that to you? For even sinners do the same.” (Luke 6:33 NKJV)

    Positive people teach me to be more like Jesus. Negative people compel me to be more like Jesus.

    What a fantastic dialogue! I can’t remember a From Where I Sit post more personally edifying. I just plugged this post into my favorites.

  • http://building-his-body.blogspot.com/ Anne Lang Bundy

    “And if you do good to those who do good to you, what credit is that to you? For even sinners do the same.” (Luke 6:33 NKJV)

    Positive people teach me to be more like Jesus. Negative people compel me to be more like Jesus.

    What a fantastic dialogue! I can’t remember a From Where I Sit post more personally edifying. I just plugged this post into my favorites.

  • http://building-his-body.blogspot.com/ Anne Lang Bundy

    "And if you do good to those who do good to you, what credit is that to you? For even sinners do the same." (Luke 6:33 NKJV)

    Positive people teach me to be more like Jesus. Negative people compel me to be more like Jesus.

    What a fantastic dialogue! I can't remember a From Where I Sit post more personally edifying. I just plugged this post into my favorites.

  • Lisa Rollins

    I have found negative people to be most discouraging or annoying or hard to deal with when I am doing things MY way instead of God’s way. When I feel that I am doing what God is asking me to do, negativity doesn’t bother me. Although it’s unpleasant, I don’t perceive those people to be attacking me because my actions and plans are God’s, not my own. But when I have a plan or an idea or am trying to accomplish something that’s all about ME, and someone is critical of what I’m doing or how I’m doing it, that’s when I start to take it personally. So, this proves to be a helpful test for me when someone criticizes me or is negative in my direction… If I get my hackles up and react strongly to their negativity, I usually have to admit that I’m too invested in the situation or project and often serving myself rather than God. When we start to see our jobs, our homes, our volunteer work, our churches, our wardrobes, our cars, our children, the way we spend our time or money, or even our pets as an extension of ourselves, that’s when it’s easy to be defensive or protective when someone says something negative. When we hold all these things lightly and acknowledge that everything is God’s, I think we become freed to look at critical people from God’s perspective — with deep love and acceptance. Devoid of Self, we can pour God’s grace into them.

    I’m not saying that I’m “there,” but this is what I try to keep in mind as I go throughout my day.

  • Lisa Rollins

    I have found negative people to be most discouraging or annoying or hard to deal with when I am doing things MY way instead of God’s way. When I feel that I am doing what God is asking me to do, negativity doesn’t bother me. Although it’s unpleasant, I don’t perceive those people to be attacking me because my actions and plans are God’s, not my own. But when I have a plan or an idea or am trying to accomplish something that’s all about ME, and someone is critical of what I’m doing or how I’m doing it, that’s when I start to take it personally. So, this proves to be a helpful test for me when someone criticizes me or is negative in my direction… If I get my hackles up and react strongly to their negativity, I usually have to admit that I’m too invested in the situation or project and often serving myself rather than God. When we start to see our jobs, our homes, our volunteer work, our churches, our wardrobes, our cars, our children, the way we spend our time or money, or even our pets as an extension of ourselves, that’s when it’s easy to be defensive or protective when someone says something negative. When we hold all these things lightly and acknowledge that everything is God’s, I think we become freed to look at critical people from God’s perspective — with deep love and acceptance. Devoid of Self, we can pour God’s grace into them.

    I’m not saying that I’m “there,” but this is what I try to keep in mind as I go throughout my day.

  • Lisa Rollins

    I have found negative people to be most discouraging or annoying or hard to deal with when I am doing things MY way instead of God's way. When I feel that I am doing what God is asking me to do, negativity doesn't bother me. Although it's unpleasant, I don't perceive those people to be attacking me because my actions and plans are God's, not my own. But when I have a plan or an idea or am trying to accomplish something that's all about ME, and someone is critical of what I'm doing or how I'm doing it, that's when I start to take it personally. So, this proves to be a helpful test for me when someone criticizes me or is negative in my direction… If I get my hackles up and react strongly to their negativity, I usually have to admit that I'm too invested in the situation or project and often serving myself rather than God. When we start to see our jobs, our homes, our volunteer work, our churches, our wardrobes, our cars, our children, the way we spend our time or money, or even our pets as an extension of ourselves, that's when it's easy to be defensive or protective when someone says something negative. When we hold all these things lightly and acknowledge that everything is God's, I think we become freed to look at critical people from God's perspective — with deep love and acceptance. Devoid of Self, we can pour God's grace into them.

    I'm not saying that I'm "there," but this is what I try to keep in mind as I go throughout my day.

  • http://www.danieldecker.net/ daniel d

    To me life is a test (in some respects). Negative people present us with an opportunity to respond. We can respond with the same type of grace that God has extended to us or we can choose a negative, destructive path. Don’t get me wrong, I’d much rather be surrounded by positive people than negative but I do believe that negative people are also a gift. If we are to be the light then we need some darkness to illuminate. :)

    BTW… this post makes me think of a book called “The No Complaining Rule” – http://www.nocomplainingrule.com (I post the link because there are three hilarious short videos about complaining that will make you laugh but echo a good point, mindless complaining needs to be replaced by positive solutions).

  • http://www.danieldecker.net daniel d

    To me life is a test (in some respects). Negative people present us with an opportunity to respond. We can respond with the same type of grace that God has extended to us or we can choose a negative, destructive path. Don’t get me wrong, I’d much rather be surrounded by positive people than negative but I do believe that negative people are also a gift. If we are to be the light then we need some darkness to illuminate. :)

    BTW… this post makes me think of a book called “The No Complaining Rule” – http://www.nocomplainingrule.com (I post the link because there are three hilarious short videos about complaining that will make you laugh but echo a good point, mindless complaining needs to be replaced by positive solutions).

  • http://danicafavorite.blogspot.com/ Danica

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  • http://danicafavorite.blogspot.com/ Danica

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  • http://danicafavorite.blogspot.com Danica

    This is a really great post and very timely, as a friend and I are discussing this very thing at the moment. Thanks so much for sharing.

  • http://www.danieldecker.net/ daniel d

    To me life is a test (in some respects). Negative people present us with an opportunity to respond. We can respond with the same type of grace that God has extended to us or we can choose a negative, destructive path. Don’t get me wrong, I’d much rather be surrounded by positive people than negative but I do believe that negative people are also a gift. If we are to be the light then we need some darkness to illuminate. :)

    BTW… this post makes me think of a book called “The No Complaining Rule” – http://www.nocomplainingrule.com (I post the link because there are three hilarious short videos about complaining that will make you laugh but echo a good point, mindless complaining needs to be replaced by positive solutions).

  • http://www.danieldecker.net/ daniel d

    To me life is a test (in some respects). Negative people present us with an opportunity to respond. We can respond with the same type of grace that God has extended to us or we can choose a negative, destructive path. Don’t get me wrong, I’d much rather be surrounded by positive people than negative but I do believe that negative people are also a gift. If we are to be the light then we need some darkness to illuminate. :)

    BTW… this post makes me think of a book called “The No Complaining Rule” – http://www.nocomplainingrule.com (I post the link because there are three hilarious short videos about complaining that will make you laugh but echo a good point, mindless complaining needs to be replaced by positive solutions).

  • http://danicafavorite.blogspot.com/ Danica

    This is a really great post and very timely, as a friend and I are discussing this very thing at the moment. Thanks so much for sharing.

  • HHaris

    The timing of this post was perfect. I have literally just sent a post to someone who is being very negative in my life and apologised for my part in our last “discussion”. I feel that this post is my reward – God has used it as a word to me.

    I’d also like to say I totally agree with putting God first, it does make a difference.

  • HHaris

    The timing of this post was perfect. I have literally just sent a post to someone who is being very negative in my life and apologised for my part in our last “discussion”. I feel that this post is my reward – God has used it as a word to me.

    I’d also like to say I totally agree with putting God first, it does make a difference.

  • HHaris

    The timing of this post was perfect. I have literally just sent a post to someone who is being very negative in my life and apologised for my part in our last “discussion”. I feel that this post is my reward – God has used it as a word to me.

    I’d also like to say I totally agree with putting God first, it does make a difference.

  • HHaris

    The timing of this post was perfect. I have literally just sent a post to someone who is being very negative in my life and apologised for my part in our last "discussion". I feel that this post is my reward – God has used it as a word to me.

    I'd also like to say I totally agree with putting God first, it does make a difference.

  • http://www.thewritingspa.com/ Mary DeMuth

    I lamented about the presence of what you might call “an enemy” in my life. Many times I entreated the Lord to remove this person from my life, only to be reminded of 2 Corinthians 12:9-10. The thorn Paul talks about is meant to keep him from exalting himself.

    I thought about this a long time, finally able to thank God for this thorn. Because of this person in my life, I am humbled and I don’t easily lapse into pride. I’m broken, which makes me more available to God and His strength.

  • http://www.thewritingspa.com/ Mary DeMuth

    I lamented about the presence of what you might call “an enemy” in my life. Many times I entreated the Lord to remove this person from my life, only to be reminded of 2 Corinthians 12:9-10. The thorn Paul talks about is meant to keep him from exalting himself.

    I thought about this a long time, finally able to thank God for this thorn. Because of this person in my life, I am humbled and I don’t easily lapse into pride. I’m broken, which makes me more available to God and His strength.

  • http://www.thewritingspa.com Mary DeMuth

    I lamented about the presence of what you might call “an enemy” in my life. Many times I entreated the Lord to remove this person from my life, only to be reminded of 2 Corinthians 12:9-10. The thorn Paul talks about is meant to keep him from exalting himself.

    I thought about this a long time, finally able to thank God for this thorn. Because of this person in my life, I am humbled and I don’t easily lapse into pride. I’m broken, which makes me more available to God and His strength.

  • http://www.thewritingspa.com/ Mary DeMuth

    I lamented about the presence of what you might call "an enemy" in my life. Many times I entreated the Lord to remove this person from my life, only to be reminded of 2 Corinthians 12:9-10. The thorn Paul talks about is meant to keep him from exalting himself.

    I thought about this a long time, finally able to thank God for this thorn. Because of this person in my life, I am humbled and I don't easily lapse into pride. I'm broken, which makes me more available to God and His strength.

  • darvo

    Michael, in this post, you have touched upon a subject I have pondered deeply. I personally endured a period of senseless negative social/psychological persecution several years ago. During this period of trial, I was slandered, falsely accused of many things (some ridiculous/some serious), reviled, denigrated, and rejected. I wondered what was in the minds of people who would hold such negativity in their hearts and then project this onto an innocent individual. This onslaught of negativity snowballed across multiple fronts in my life – work, family, acquaintances, and strangers. I wondered if at times the world had either gone mad around me or I was going mad myself. I read Job and I prayed for answers. My trial by negativity did not feel like the work of God; but it was my faith and a few true friends that sustained me through the trials. When I was personally in the presence of negative people, I sometimes saw a mean horrible look come into their eyes. I would see the light in people’s eyes change somehow and the change made me recoil. My priest and I had a number of deep discussions during my time of trial. He told me to look for God in these experiences. I prayed for understanding, mercy, and help. I pondered how Christ faced senseless denigration and persecution from his own people. The passion journey was brutal on so many levels; but, I contemplated for the first time the psychological torture Christ endured. He was accused of crimes He did not commit, cursed, spit upon, and humiliated as well as physically tortured. Is it not a glorious mystery how Christ could love so deeply those who hurt him without remorse and with the appearance of sadistic pleasure. This I am certain of…a heart filled with negativity does not come from a place of grace. Pervasive negativity should not be confused with constructive criticism. To negate is to destroy. It literally means to withhold something positive. Negativity demoralizes and darkens the world around those who hold it chronically in their hearts. God is in control; so He either sends or allows negative people in our lives. I think my priest’s advice was quite apt. The task for each one of us is to find God in our personal experience with negativity whether it is a single negative person or an avalanche like I experienced. There is always a battle in the mind to be fought. Where the mind lingers, the heart begins to dwell. Put another way, thought is the prelude to action. Words are powerful. Be careful what you say and what you allow yourself to hear.

  • darvo

    Michael, in this post, you have touched upon a subject I have pondered deeply. I personally endured a period of senseless negative social/psychological persecution several years ago. During this period of trial, I was slandered, falsely accused of many things (some ridiculous/some serious), reviled, denigrated, and rejected. I wondered what was in the minds of people who would hold such negativity in their hearts and then project this onto an innocent individual. This onslaught of negativity snowballed across multiple fronts in my life – work, family, acquaintances, and strangers. I wondered if at times the world had either gone mad around me or I was going mad myself. I read Job and I prayed for answers. My trial by negativity did not feel like the work of God; but it was my faith and a few true friends that sustained me through the trials. When I was personally in the presence of negative people, I sometimes saw a mean horrible look come into their eyes. I would see the light in people’s eyes change somehow and the change made me recoil. My priest and I had a number of deep discussions during my time of trial. He told me to look for God in these experiences. I prayed for understanding, mercy, and help. I pondered how Christ faced senseless denigration and persecution from his own people. The passion journey was brutal on so many levels; but, I contemplated for the first time the psychological torture Christ endured. He was accused of crimes He did not commit, cursed, spit upon, and humiliated as well as physically tortured. Is it not a glorious mystery how Christ could love so deeply those who hurt him without remorse and with the appearance of sadistic pleasure. This I am certain of…a heart filled with negativity does not come from a place of grace. Pervasive negativity should not be confused with constructive criticism. To negate is to destroy. It literally means to withhold something positive. Negativity demoralizes and darkens the world around those who hold it chronically in their hearts. God is in control; so He either sends or allows negative people in our lives. I think my priest’s advice was quite apt. The task for each one of us is to find God in our personal experience with negativity whether it is a single negative person or an avalanche like I experienced. There is always a battle in the mind to be fought. Where the mind lingers, the heart begins to dwell. Put another way, thought is the prelude to action. Words are powerful. Be careful what you say and what you allow yourself to hear.

  • darvo

    Michael, in this post, you have touched upon a subject I have pondered deeply. I personally endured a period of senseless negative social/psychological persecution several years ago. During this period of trial, I was slandered, falsely accused of many things (some ridiculous/some serious), reviled, denigrated, and rejected. I wondered what was in the minds of people who would hold such negativity in their hearts and then project this onto an innocent individual. This onslaught of negativity snowballed across multiple fronts in my life – work, family, acquaintances, and strangers. I wondered if at times the world had either gone mad around me or I was going mad myself. I read Job and I prayed for answers. My trial by negativity did not feel like the work of God; but it was my faith and a few true friends that sustained me through the trials. When I was personally in the presence of negative people, I sometimes saw a mean horrible look come into their eyes. I would see the light in people’s eyes change somehow and the change made me recoil. My priest and I had a number of deep discussions during my time of trial. He told me to look for God in these experiences. I prayed for understanding, mercy, and help. I pondered how Christ faced senseless denigration and persecution from his own people. The passion journey was brutal on so many levels; but, I contemplated for the first time the psychological torture Christ endured. He was accused of crimes He did not commit, cursed, spit upon, and humiliated as well as physically tortured. Is it not a glorious mystery how Christ could love so deeply those who hurt him without remorse and with the appearance of sadistic pleasure. This I am certain of…a heart filled with negativity does not come from a place of grace. Pervasive negativity should not be confused with constructive criticism. To negate is to destroy. It literally means to withhold something positive. Negativity demoralizes and darkens the world around those who hold it chronically in their hearts. God is in control; so He either sends or allows negative people in our lives. I think my priest’s advice was quite apt. The task for each one of us is to find God in our personal experience with negativity whether it is a single negative person or an avalanche like I experienced. There is always a battle in the mind to be fought. Where the mind lingers, the heart begins to dwell. Put another way, thought is the prelude to action. Words are powerful. Be careful what you say and what you allow yourself to hear.

  • http://myfavoriteauthor.blogspto.com/ SpeedReader

    I just found this website and signed up for your BRB program! I think it’s a great idea and I can’t wait to see how it takes off!

    This is an interesting question. For me, whenever there are “negative” people in my life, it makes me realize that I don’t want to be like that. Then I stop to think about whether I am doing some of those same things to others. Sometimes I am, and I try to change my behaviour. Sometimes I don’t have anything to change, but then later down the road something will happen to me where I could have turned to the same actions of a previous “negative” person in my life but don’t because I already learned that lesson ahead of time.

    I think we are “blessed” with bad experiences/people along with the good ones to help us become better people in the end.

  • http://myfavoriteauthor.blogspto.com SpeedReader

    I just found this website and signed up for your BRB program! I think it’s a great idea and I can’t wait to see how it takes off!

    This is an interesting question. For me, whenever there are “negative” people in my life, it makes me realize that I don’t want to be like that. Then I stop to think about whether I am doing some of those same things to others. Sometimes I am, and I try to change my behaviour. Sometimes I don’t have anything to change, but then later down the road something will happen to me where I could have turned to the same actions of a previous “negative” person in my life but don’t because I already learned that lesson ahead of time.

    I think we are “blessed” with bad experiences/people along with the good ones to help us become better people in the end.

  • http://myfavoriteauthor.blogspto.com/ SpeedReader

    I just found this website and signed up for your BRB program! I think it's a great idea and I can't wait to see how it takes off!

    This is an interesting question. For me, whenever there are "negative" people in my life, it makes me realize that I don't want to be like that. Then I stop to think about whether I am doing some of those same things to others. Sometimes I am, and I try to change my behaviour. Sometimes I don't have anything to change, but then later down the road something will happen to me where I could have turned to the same actions of a previous "negative" person in my life but don't because I already learned that lesson ahead of time.

    I think we are "blessed" with bad experiences/people along with the good ones to help us become better people in the end.

  • http://myfavoriteauthor.blogspto.com/ SpeedReader

    I just found this website and signed up for your BRB program! I think it's a great idea and I can't wait to see how it takes off!

    This is an interesting question. For me, whenever there are "negative" people in my life, it makes me realize that I don't want to be like that. Then I stop to think about whether I am doing some of those same things to others. Sometimes I am, and I try to change my behaviour. Sometimes I don't have anything to change, but then later down the road something will happen to me where I could have turned to the same actions of a previous "negative" person in my life but don't because I already learned that lesson ahead of time.

    I think we are "blessed" with bad experiences/people along with the good ones to help us become better people in the end.

  • http://www.angelfire.com/ok2/weakandfoolish Rob Sargeant

    I think negative people help to show me where areas of pride are still active in my life. God over the years has put me in places where I felt I was being treated unfairly, or my rights were being denied, when in reality I was being humbled. It takes a humble heart to bless those who persecute you, and use you. Humble character is required to turn the other cheek.

  • http://www.angelfire.com/ok2/weakandfoolish Rob Sargeant

    I think negative people help to show me where areas of pride are still active in my life. God over the years has put me in places where I felt I was being treated unfairly, or my rights were being denied, when in reality I was being humbled. It takes a humble heart to bless those who persecute you, and use you. Humble character is required to turn the other cheek.

  • http://www.angelfire.com/ok2/weakandfoolish Rob Sargeant

    I think negative people help to show me where areas of pride are still active in my life. God over the years has put me in places where I felt I was being treated unfairly, or my rights were being denied, when in reality I was being humbled. It takes a humble heart to bless those who persecute you, and use you. Humble character is required to turn the other cheek.

  • http://www.angelfire.com/ok2/weakandfoolish Rob Sargeant

    I think negative people help to show me where areas of pride are still active in my life. God over the years has put me in places where I felt I was being treated unfairly, or my rights were being denied, when in reality I was being humbled. It takes a humble heart to bless those who persecute you, and use you. Humble character is required to turn the other cheek.

  • http://levellies.blogspot.com/ Jeanette Levellie

    Because the New Testament is so full of exhortations to bear with others’ faults, forgive, be kind and not grumble, I do not believe that God sends criticizers our way. He does allow them to speak, since He allows free will. As a pastor’s wife of 33 years I have learned to break free of the pain caused by caustic tongues: pray and bless. I may be the only one on the planet praying for this individual. God knows that. Although He does not send them to me, just as He did not send Job’s friends to him, He can use their unkindness to benefit us both. I get to practice graciousness, and they are blessed by my prayers.

  • http://levellies.blogspot.com/ Jeanette Levellie

    Because the New Testament is so full of exhortations to bear with others’ faults, forgive, be kind and not grumble, I do not believe that God sends criticizers our way. He does allow them to speak, since He allows free will. As a pastor’s wife of 33 years I have learned to break free of the pain caused by caustic tongues: pray and bless. I may be the only one on the planet praying for this individual. God knows that. Although He does not send them to me, just as He did not send Job’s friends to him, He can use their unkindness to benefit us both. I get to practice graciousness, and they are blessed by my prayers.

  • http://levellies.blogspot.com Jeanette Levellie

    Because the New Testament is so full of exhortations to bear with others’ faults, forgive, be kind and not grumble, I do not believe that God sends criticizers our way. He does allow them to speak, since He allows free will. As a pastor’s wife of 33 years I have learned to break free of the pain caused by caustic tongues: pray and bless. I may be the only one on the planet praying for this individual. God knows that. Although He does not send them to me, just as He did not send Job’s friends to him, He can use their unkindness to benefit us both. I get to practice graciousness, and they are blessed by my prayers.

  • http://levellies.blogspot.com/ Jeanette Levellie

    Because the New Testament is so full of exhortations to bear with others' faults, forgive, be kind and not grumble, I do not believe that God sends criticizers our way. He does allow them to speak, since He allows free will. As a pastor's wife of 33 years I have learned to break free of the pain caused by caustic tongues: pray and bless. I may be the only one on the planet praying for this individual. God knows that. Although He does not send them to me, just as He did not send Job's friends to him, He can use their unkindness to benefit us both. I get to practice graciousness, and they are blessed by my prayers.

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  • http://northhollywood.bestappliancerepair.info/map.html EmumbSalbup

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  • http://northhollywood.bestappliancerepair.info/map.html EmumbSalbup

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  • http://clifornia-primier-repairs.info/ca/ rearbalkLag

    I watch this guy for year, yea he do a lot of crazy stuff, but I know he is a really good and nice person. My boyfriend got his all best fights and we probably going to pray today and watch his in ring – so sad love you Mike.

  • http://clifornia-primier-repairs.info/ca/ rearbalkLag

    I watch this guy for year, yea he do a lot of crazy stuff, but I know he is a really good and nice person. My boyfriend got his all best fights and we probably going to pray today and watch his in ring – so sad love you Mike.

  • http://clifornia-primier-repairs.info/ca/ rearbalkLag

    I watch this guy for year, yea he do a lot of crazy stuff, but I know he is a really good and nice person. My boyfriend got his all best fights and we probably going to pray today and watch his in ring – so sad love you Mike.

  • http://intensedebate.com/people/Peter_P Peter_P

    Last night, our church studied James 1:2-3
    2Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance.

    If God is truly refining us, then he has to send adversity our way to teach us faith, patience, perseverance etc.

    Good post Michael, I think you're right on!

  • http://intensedebate.com/people/Peter_P Peter_P

    Last night, our church studied James 1:2-3
    2Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance.

    If God is truly refining us, then he has to send adversity our way to teach us faith, patience, perseverance etc.

    Good post Michael, I think you're right on!

  • http://intensedebate.com/people/Peter_P Peter_P

    Last night, our church studied James 1:2-3
    2Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance.

    If God is truly refining us, then he has to send adversity our way to teach us faith, patience, perseverance etc.

    Good post Michael, I think you're right on!

  • http://www.kaylafinley.com/ Kayla

    I've thought of this quite a bit, and I completely agree. Along a similar vein, sometimes I think that God lets us get defeated so He can bless us and make something better happen. Sounds weird, but sometimes when I've had terrible things happen to me, I've felt God get excited. Not because I was hurting, but because He knew that totally gave Him a great opening to destroy my enemy and restore to me what was stolen a hundred-fold because He likes to help out the underdog. I just wish that would come along and I would quit losing! Ha.

  • http://www.kaylafinley.com/ Kayla

    I’ve thought of this quite a bit, and I completely agree. Along a similar vein, sometimes I think that God lets us get defeated so He can bless us and make something better happen. Sounds weird, but sometimes when I’ve had terrible things happen to me, I’ve felt God get excited. Not because I was hurting, but because He knew that totally gave Him a great opening to destroy my enemy and restore to me what was stolen a hundred-fold because He likes to help out the underdog. I just wish that would come along and I would quit losing! Ha.

  • http://www.kaylafinley.com Kayla

    I’ve thought of this quite a bit, and I completely agree. Along a similar vein, sometimes I think that God lets us get defeated so He can bless us and make something better happen. Sounds weird, but sometimes when I’ve had terrible things happen to me, I’ve felt God get excited. Not because I was hurting, but because He knew that totally gave Him a great opening to destroy my enemy and restore to me what was stolen a hundred-fold because He likes to help out the underdog. I just wish that would come along and I would quit losing! Ha.

  • Nico Bacay

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  • Rocco

    God doesn't 'send' negative into our life. He allows it so that He may 'father' us in, and trough, it, that we may be more of what we are meant to be. Consider Job, the most righteous man in his day. God didn't 'send' the negative (satan), but He allowed it. And what of the outcome?!

  • Rocco

    God doesn't 'send' negative into our life. He allows it so that He may 'father' us in, and trough, it, that we may be more of what we are meant to be. Consider Job, the most righteous man in his day. God didn't 'send' the negative (satan), but He allowed it. And what of the outcome?!

  • Rocco

    God doesn't 'send' negative into our life. He allows it so that He may 'father' us in, and trough, it, that we may be more of what we are meant to be. Consider Job, the most righteous man in his day. God didn't 'send' the negative (satan), but He allowed it. And what of the outcome?!

  • Candace Sargent

    Both Joseph and David had that wonderful absolute knowledge of God, that they are in a world of both good and evil so negatives are a mainstay. Both would praise and thank God for good positives, and cry out for his mercies when negatives would come–of course, the Psalms are a perfect reflection of both. I believe God communicated to them whether the negatives were there to specifically teach lessons, there to show God's power in deliverance, or otherwise…

  • Candace Sargent

    Both Joseph and David had that wonderful absolute knowledge of God, that they are in a world of both good and evil so negatives are a mainstay. Both would praise and thank God for good positives, and cry out for his mercies when negatives would come–of course, the Psalms are a perfect reflection of both. I believe God communicated to them whether the negatives were there to specifically teach lessons, there to show God's power in deliverance, or otherwise…

  • Candace Sargent

    Both Joseph and David had that wonderful absolute knowledge of God, that they are in a world of both good and evil so negatives are a mainstay. Both would praise and thank God for good positives, and cry out for his mercies when negatives would come–of course, the Psalms are a perfect reflection of both. I believe God communicated to them whether the negatives were there to specifically teach lessons, there to show God's power in deliverance, or otherwise…

  • Shari

    Question: What possibility is present when you encounter negative or difficult people that is not present at other times?

    We have the opportunity to show the attitude and actions of Jesus… it's too bad that too often I REACT with human emotion instead of ACT reflecting His divine love.

  • Shari

    Question: What possibility is present when you encounter negative or difficult people that is not present at other times?

    We have the opportunity to show the attitude and actions of Jesus… it's too bad that too often I REACT with human emotion instead of ACT reflecting His divine love.

  • Shari

    Question: What possibility is present when you encounter negative or difficult people that is not present at other times?

    We have the opportunity to show the attitude and actions of Jesus… it's too bad that too often I REACT with human emotion instead of ACT reflecting His divine love.

  • http://www.shyjumathew.com/ Shy

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  • jimkane

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  • http://intensedebate.com/people/patriciazell patriciazell

    God loves every person in this world, so when someone is negative towards me or towards other people and circumstances, the first thing I try to do is to pray for him or her. Then I pray that God will give me the opportunity to be kind to that person. As believers in Christ, we shouldn't take someone's unfair criticism personally but use it as an opportunity for God's absolute love to surge into his or her life.
    My recent post #24 UNDERSTANDING CHRIST: HIS TRIUMPHANT CRUCIFIXION PART 1

  • http://jeffgoins.myadventures.org Jeff

    Introspection. Self-reflection. True, heart-felt self-improvement.
    My recent post The Most Under-Appreciated Blogs of 2009

  • http://intensedebate.com/people/patriciazell patriciazell

    God loves every person in this world, so when someone is negative towards me or towards other people and circumstances, the first thing I try to do is to pray for him or her. Then I pray that God will give me the opportunity to be kind to that person. As believers in Christ, we shouldn't take someone's unfair criticism personally but use it as an opportunity for God's absolute love to surge into his or her life.
    My recent post #24 UNDERSTANDING CHRIST: HIS TRIUMPHANT CRUCIFIXION PART 1

  • http://intensedebate.com/people/patriciazell patriciazell

    God loves every person in this world, so when someone is negative towards me or towards other people and circumstances, the first thing I try to do is to pray for him or her. Then I pray that God will give me the opportunity to be kind to that person. As believers in Christ, we shouldn't take someone's unfair criticism personally but use it as an opportunity for God's absolute love to surge into his or her life.
    My recent post #24 UNDERSTANDING CHRIST: HIS TRIUMPHANT CRUCIFIXION PART 1

  • http://jeffgoins.myadventures.org/ Jeff

    Introspection. Self-reflection. True, heart-felt self-improvement.
    My recent post The Most Under-Appreciated Blogs of 2009

  • http://jeffgoins.myadventures.org/ Jeff

    Introspection. Self-reflection. True, heart-felt self-improvement.
    My recent post The Most Under-Appreciated Blogs of 2009

  • musicgirl77

    I recently asked the question on my blog about "difficult" people, but they are much the same. And what if this person is much closer than a business associate? What if this constant negative person is your mother? A lifetime of grace and mercy toward someone that refuses to see or change is challenging, to say the least.

  • musicgirl77

    I recently asked the question on my blog about "difficult" people, but they are much the same. And what if this person is much closer than a business associate? What if this constant negative person is your mother? A lifetime of grace and mercy toward someone that refuses to see or change is challenging, to say the least.

  • musicgirl77

    I recently asked the question on my blog about "difficult" people, but they are much the same. And what if this person is much closer than a business associate? What if this constant negative person is your mother? A lifetime of grace and mercy toward someone that refuses to see or change is challenging, to say the least.

  • http://www.twitter.com/12hourhalfday Brian Darnell

    Negative and hateful people offer the opportunity to practice patience, understanding, and love. It is more difficult to seek out opportunities to bestow these gifts; when the negative seeks you out is an opportunity to love, not hate being bestowed upon you.

  • http://www.twitter.com/12hourhalfday Brian Darnell

    Negative and hateful people offer the opportunity to practice patience, understanding, and love. It is more difficult to seek out opportunities to bestow these gifts; when the negative seeks you out is an opportunity to love, not hate being bestowed upon you.

  • http://www.roccocapra.com/blog Rocco

    Also take note that God never allows anything to happen to us that we cannot handle. God believs and knows that [you] have what it takes. It just may be that He is telling you that. How many times have we said to our children “good job, I knew you could do it” (a lot I hope).

  • http://www.roccocapra.com/blog Rocco

    Also take note that God never allows anything to happen to us that we cannot handle. God believs and knows that [you] have what it takes. It just may be that He is telling you that. How many times have we said to our children “good job, I knew you could do it” (a lot I hope).

  • http://www.twitter.com/12hourhalfday Brian Darnell

    Negative and hateful people offer the opportunity to practice patience, understanding, and love. It is more difficult to seek out opportunities to bestow these gifts; when the negative seeks you out is an opportunity to love, not hate being bestowed upon you.

  • http://www.roccocapra.com/blog Rocco

    Also take note that God never allows anything to happen to us that we cannot handle. God believs and knows that [you] have what it takes. It just may be that He is telling you that. How many times have we said to our children "good job, I knew you could do it" (a lot I hope).

  • http://intensedebate.com/people/madrigals madrigals

    I completely agree. I was thinking of Joseph, then you wrote it. :) If I can quote Beth Moore, who says, and I'm paraphrasing: God does not put us in a position where he brings out the best in us until we've been in situations where he can first bring out the worst in us. Many times putting us in situations with difficult people who will literally bring out (up and out) the worst in us.

  • http://intensedebate.com/people/madrigals madrigals

    I completely agree. I was thinking of Joseph, then you wrote it. :) If I can quote Beth Moore, who says, and I'm paraphrasing: God does not put us in a position where he brings out the best in us until we've been in situations where he can first bring out the worst in us. Many times putting us in situations with difficult people who will literally bring out (up and out) the worst in us.

  • http://intensedebate.com/people/madrigals madrigals

    I completely agree. I was thinking of Joseph, then you wrote it. :) If I can quote Beth Moore, who says, and I'm paraphrasing: God does not put us in a position where he brings out the best in us until we've been in situations where he can first bring out the worst in us. Many times putting us in situations with difficult people who will literally bring out (up and out) the worst in us.

  • http://intensedebate.com/profiles/ponderthis ponderthis

    Rubbing up against people who are hard to love seems to be the primary way to that God builds me into a better lover – which seems to be His primary purpose for me. Negative people are essential in the school of love.

    • http://sandraking-beholding-god.blogspot.com/ Sandra King

      Joyce Landorf calls people in our lives who really bug us "Irregular People." She wrote a whole book about them.

      I call them sandpaper.

      And maybe I'm theirs.

  • sam

    have lived w/ my brother for four years and he is the most negative, pessimistic guy on the planet. he claims to be a Christian, goes to church every week, and goes to "outreaches" in mexico about once a month yet treats me w/ little respect and says some things that make you scratch your head. the positive is that the personal growth resulting from this thorn has been incredible. is it enjoyable? absolutely not but as long as the Spirit is producing fruit i say hallelujah!

  • Cintia

    wow. thanks for this, I really needed to hear it. the word that sticks with me is “possibilities.” I thank you from the bottom of my heart!

  • Anonymous

    Difficult people remind me that my validation has to come from God and from God alone. Furthermore, God has used difficult people to expose areas of my life that have not been surrendered to God. Every time I try to deal with a difficult person in my own wisdom (and pride), it is a train wreck.

  • Bridget

    It is an opportunity to do the most important thing that we have to do here on earth… to love, even if we don’t feel like it!

  • J. Barry Watts

    I’ve given up my enemies. Maintaining them is just too costly. 

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1383965280 Tim Young

    I have to come to call them “sand paper people” ;) …I don’t always like negative people, but I have learned on many occasions that God used them to shape character flaws in me.

  • Anonymous

    I think you are exactly right — that God at times sends negative people into our lives. I think it is to make us “more perfect in love.”  It is much harder to love a negative person.  But we need to learn to love all people, thus we have to learn how to love negative people too.

  • http://www.facebook.com/angie.kinsey1 Angie Kinsey

    Yes. They’re called ‘sandpaper for the soul’ ;)

  • Karenselliott

    Some of the people you encounter in your professional life are just negative – all the time. They are always having a bad day, bad things are always happening to them, they whine and groan about every challenge or bit of bad news. I try to avoid these people; at times I try to turn them around, point out the silver lining. Some people are just having a bad day, or have received disappointing news – that’s when you say, “What can I do to help you today?” Every challenge a person faces is an opportunity to learn something new.

  • Timothy Fish

    The great thing about negative people is that they are the ones who bring into focus those things we didn’t consider. When we have a great idea, we’re often blinded to everything except what we are hoping to accomplish. Negative people see those things and remind us that nothing in life goes smoothly. What they tell us can prepare us for the difficulties we’ll encounter with what we’re trying to do.

  • Gshingleton

    Although you make some very good points, I still cannot believe that God actually sends negative people into our lives.  While we definitely have the opportunity to grow during adverse citcumstances, the possibility of sinning also exists.  Following that line of thought I would like for you to consider James 1:13: “Let no man say when he is tempted, I am tempted of God: for God cannot be tempted with evil, neither tempteth he any man”. 
    Just my thoughts on it.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_CFU6WQVPYUIA6XL4ZXIRVUYAPY Marie

    I am telling you, it’s not easy to deal with these people, especially when they are in the church and should know better. Last week Sunday night, my motive was called into question. I am a Sunday Sch. Superintendent. Last year, I gave out gifts to the children. Two parents complain about the gifts one year later and got other people involved. One of my accuser said, “no effort was put in buying the gifts and I bought cheap gifts from Dollarama. I was hurt, because of the effort and sacrifice that was made in buying the gifts. You can’t please people.

  • http://www.themlmattorney.com/about Kevin Thompson

    This post reminds me of the quote: “Metal is worthless until it’s shaped and tempered.”  

    This is a wonderful article, Michael.  I believe God sends challenging people into our lives to hone our focus and clarify our purpose.      

  • Iambclarke

    Negative people if we are mature enough can allow us to re-evaluate and not condemn ourselves.

  • mom2five

    The possibility of personal growth and walking in obediance rather than people pleasing as you face the difficult person with grace and truth. If that person chooses to believe the worst in you or assign motives to your actions, there’s humility gained in taking the high road as you learn to trust HIM like Joseph did. I am also learning how to set healthy boundries that I  did not realize I was absent of in a relationship with a family member. 

  • http://levittmike.wordpress.com levittmike

    A negative person can weigh on your morale, and change your outlook on things if you’re not careful.  However when I encounter negativity, I first listen to what they’re saying, as a checks & balances method against what I’m proposing to implement.  

    Many times, they’re just negative people and would argue about the color of the sky, but sometimes their points are valid and need consideration.

  • Libby Butero

    Learning to handle negative people creates character, offers the opportunity to prove the principles of God and teaches you, if you are patient, that holding steadfast in doing what is right (hopefully you are doing something right) will eventually bring its own reward and negative people really can’t stop godly principles from producing.  This works spiritually and naturally. I’m a witness!

  • Tcseibert

    I think God sends “different” folks into our lives to illuminate faults and to humble us. Also, to teach how to deal with difficult people in a Godly way. The same reason God gives us siblings we don’t always get along with.

  • Frank Chimento

    The realization that you get to choose whether or not you’re going to actually walk your talk. God is not glorified by how we’re knocked down or by our circumstances, He is glorified by how we lean on Him to stand back up… every time and He is glorified by how we trust in Him as we choose how we’ll respond to our circumstances. 

  • Kerstin

    I think from each people you meet in your life you should learn something. Especially from those you don´t like in their behavior or attitudes. Because it is a mirror for you. Things you don´t like by people, you often don´t like by yourself. You need to believe that you are loved by God and self-confidence to learn from them.
    Best wishes
    Kerstin 

  • Mark

    I sometimes have to ask the same question about positive people. :)

  • Jeffparker

    Great point. Question, are we willing to be the negative person? A point brought out in the book #KillingtheChurch

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  • Larry

    No, negative people come into your life because choices that you and that person made previously caused the two of you to come together. God doesn’t exist.

    • Romey

      Wow a negative person. Thanks for the practice of dealing with ilk like you.

  • Mrs M

    I praise God for this article. I just wanted to read something that could encourage me on how to deal with the negative people in my work place.

  • Laurel Griffith

    Sometimes negative people and difficult experiences are allowed by God. Sometimes they are sent by God. I don’t have to understand the reason to reap the benefit. If I am willing, God will use every encounter to make me more like Jesus.

  • Ben Matthews

    If you never get negative feedback, whether legitimate or not, you probably aren’t doing anything really significant. Producing a large harvest requires resiliency (Prov 14:4).

  • Teresa

    Very
    thought provoking post, so many thanks for passing it along. To answer
    the question at the end….One thing I’m working on is seeing every frustration
    as an opportunity to practice some virtues. We all know that the only way
    you get better at something is to practice and I have certainly prayed for
    patience and the ability to exemplify God’s love. I’m trying to remind myself that
    every time someone doesn’t do what I want them to (like my kids), I am being
    given an opportunity to practice those qualities that I’ve asked for.
    (These frustrations are also a lesson in humility: Other people were
    put on this earth to fulfill their purpose, not to make me happy.) This
    post has fed my thought process about my “opportunities to practice.”

  • CommonSenseThoughts

    What possibility is present…? Hmmm….several. But I’ll say: introspect.
    For me to stand back and ask myself
    ‘Why do I keep giving these types of people the power to upset me?’
    OR
    I can think: ‘that’s the way YOU choose to be….not the way I choose to be.’