Does God Send Negative People into Our Lives?

As a leader, it seems that no matter what you do, a few people will find fault. Even if you were standing on a corner, handing out free money, someone would complain.

Photo courtesy of ©iStockphoto.com/Vasko, Image #1624654

Photo courtesy of ©iStockphoto.com/Vasko
  • “What about the people that didn’t know you were going to hand out free money? You’re not being fair.”
  • “You’re not giving away enough to make a difference!”
  • “You’re encouraging laziness!”

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The list goes on.

Honestly, I used to resent these types of negative people. They sometimes still hurt my feelings—especially the ones that call my motives into question. But over the years my skin has gotten thicker. (No comments on my midriff area, please!)

However, I have come to the conclusion that nothing truly good goes unopposed. Jesus Himself said,

Blessed are you when they revile and persecute you, and say all kinds of evil against you falsely for My sake. Rejoice and be exceedingly glad, for great is your reward in heaven, for so they persecuted the prophets who were before you.” (Matthew 5:11, 12)

But what if it’s more than God merely allowing negative into our lives? What if he actually sends them? Before you dismiss this idea, consider two stories from the Bible.

The patriarch Joseph was ridiculed, kidnapped, and then sold into slavery by his own brothers. He was later falsely accused of attempting to seduce the wife of a high-ranking, Egyptian official. He spent several years in prison and was eventually vindicated.

He could have been very angry with his brothers. Years later, when he finally meets up with them again, he is in a position of tremendous power. He could easily have had his revenge. Instead, Joseph said to them,

Do not be afraid, for am I in the place of God? But as for you, you meant evil against me; but God meant it for good, in order to bring it about as it is this day, to save many people alive. Now therefore, do not be afraid; I will provide for you and your little ones.” (Genesis 50:19–20)

Or consider King David, who was chased out of Jerusalem by his treasonous son, Absalom. If that weren’t bad enough, a character named Shimei meets him on the road and starts throwing rocks at him. He curses the king and reminds him of all his sins. He says,

Come out! Come out! You bloodthirsty man, you rogue! The LORD has brought upon you all the blood of the house of Saul, in whose place you have reigned; and the LORD has delivered the kingdom into the hand of Absalom your son. So now you are caught in your own evil, because you are a bloodthirsty man!” (2 Samuel 16:7, 8)

Abishai, one of David’s servants, said, “Why should this dead dog curse my lord the king? Please, let me go over and take off his head!” But note how David responded:

Let him alone, and let him curse; for so the LORD has ordered him. It may be that the LORD will look on my affliction, and that the LORD will repay me with good for his cursing this day.” (2 Samuel 16:11, 12).

It’s easy to resent negative people. But what if God has a deep and important purpose for sending them—something that He intends for our good because He truly loves us.

Question: What possibility is present when you encounter negative or difficult people that is not present at other times? You can leave a comment by clicking here.
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  • Lisa Rollins

    I have found negative people to be most discouraging or annoying or hard to deal with when I am doing things MY way instead of God’s way. When I feel that I am doing what God is asking me to do, negativity doesn’t bother me. Although it’s unpleasant, I don’t perceive those people to be attacking me because my actions and plans are God’s, not my own. But when I have a plan or an idea or am trying to accomplish something that’s all about ME, and someone is critical of what I’m doing or how I’m doing it, that’s when I start to take it personally. So, this proves to be a helpful test for me when someone criticizes me or is negative in my direction… If I get my hackles up and react strongly to their negativity, I usually have to admit that I’m too invested in the situation or project and often serving myself rather than God. When we start to see our jobs, our homes, our volunteer work, our churches, our wardrobes, our cars, our children, the way we spend our time or money, or even our pets as an extension of ourselves, that’s when it’s easy to be defensive or protective when someone says something negative. When we hold all these things lightly and acknowledge that everything is God’s, I think we become freed to look at critical people from God’s perspective — with deep love and acceptance. Devoid of Self, we can pour God’s grace into them.

    I’m not saying that I’m “there,” but this is what I try to keep in mind as I go throughout my day.

  • Lisa Rollins

    I have found negative people to be most discouraging or annoying or hard to deal with when I am doing things MY way instead of God's way. When I feel that I am doing what God is asking me to do, negativity doesn't bother me. Although it's unpleasant, I don't perceive those people to be attacking me because my actions and plans are God's, not my own. But when I have a plan or an idea or am trying to accomplish something that's all about ME, and someone is critical of what I'm doing or how I'm doing it, that's when I start to take it personally. So, this proves to be a helpful test for me when someone criticizes me or is negative in my direction… If I get my hackles up and react strongly to their negativity, I usually have to admit that I'm too invested in the situation or project and often serving myself rather than God. When we start to see our jobs, our homes, our volunteer work, our churches, our wardrobes, our cars, our children, the way we spend our time or money, or even our pets as an extension of ourselves, that's when it's easy to be defensive or protective when someone says something negative. When we hold all these things lightly and acknowledge that everything is God's, I think we become freed to look at critical people from God's perspective — with deep love and acceptance. Devoid of Self, we can pour God's grace into them.

    I'm not saying that I'm "there," but this is what I try to keep in mind as I go throughout my day.

  • http://www.danieldecker.net/ daniel d

    To me life is a test (in some respects). Negative people present us with an opportunity to respond. We can respond with the same type of grace that God has extended to us or we can choose a negative, destructive path. Don’t get me wrong, I’d much rather be surrounded by positive people than negative but I do believe that negative people are also a gift. If we are to be the light then we need some darkness to illuminate. :)

    BTW… this post makes me think of a book called “The No Complaining Rule” – http://www.nocomplainingrule.com (I post the link because there are three hilarious short videos about complaining that will make you laugh but echo a good point, mindless complaining needs to be replaced by positive solutions).

  • http://www.danieldecker.net daniel d

    To me life is a test (in some respects). Negative people present us with an opportunity to respond. We can respond with the same type of grace that God has extended to us or we can choose a negative, destructive path. Don’t get me wrong, I’d much rather be surrounded by positive people than negative but I do believe that negative people are also a gift. If we are to be the light then we need some darkness to illuminate. :)

    BTW… this post makes me think of a book called “The No Complaining Rule” – http://www.nocomplainingrule.com (I post the link because there are three hilarious short videos about complaining that will make you laugh but echo a good point, mindless complaining needs to be replaced by positive solutions).

  • http://danicafavorite.blogspot.com/ Danica

    This is a really great post and very timely, as a friend and I are discussing this very thing at the moment. Thanks so much for sharing.

  • http://danicafavorite.blogspot.com/ Danica

    This is a really great post and very timely, as a friend and I are discussing this very thing at the moment. Thanks so much for sharing.

  • http://danicafavorite.blogspot.com Danica

    This is a really great post and very timely, as a friend and I are discussing this very thing at the moment. Thanks so much for sharing.

  • http://www.danieldecker.net/ daniel d

    To me life is a test (in some respects). Negative people present us with an opportunity to respond. We can respond with the same type of grace that God has extended to us or we can choose a negative, destructive path. Don’t get me wrong, I’d much rather be surrounded by positive people than negative but I do believe that negative people are also a gift. If we are to be the light then we need some darkness to illuminate. :)

    BTW… this post makes me think of a book called “The No Complaining Rule” – http://www.nocomplainingrule.com (I post the link because there are three hilarious short videos about complaining that will make you laugh but echo a good point, mindless complaining needs to be replaced by positive solutions).

  • http://www.danieldecker.net/ daniel d

    To me life is a test (in some respects). Negative people present us with an opportunity to respond. We can respond with the same type of grace that God has extended to us or we can choose a negative, destructive path. Don’t get me wrong, I’d much rather be surrounded by positive people than negative but I do believe that negative people are also a gift. If we are to be the light then we need some darkness to illuminate. :)

    BTW… this post makes me think of a book called “The No Complaining Rule” – http://www.nocomplainingrule.com (I post the link because there are three hilarious short videos about complaining that will make you laugh but echo a good point, mindless complaining needs to be replaced by positive solutions).

  • http://danicafavorite.blogspot.com/ Danica

    This is a really great post and very timely, as a friend and I are discussing this very thing at the moment. Thanks so much for sharing.

  • HHaris

    The timing of this post was perfect. I have literally just sent a post to someone who is being very negative in my life and apologised for my part in our last “discussion”. I feel that this post is my reward – God has used it as a word to me.

    I’d also like to say I totally agree with putting God first, it does make a difference.

  • HHaris

    The timing of this post was perfect. I have literally just sent a post to someone who is being very negative in my life and apologised for my part in our last “discussion”. I feel that this post is my reward – God has used it as a word to me.

    I’d also like to say I totally agree with putting God first, it does make a difference.

  • HHaris

    The timing of this post was perfect. I have literally just sent a post to someone who is being very negative in my life and apologised for my part in our last “discussion”. I feel that this post is my reward – God has used it as a word to me.

    I’d also like to say I totally agree with putting God first, it does make a difference.

  • HHaris

    The timing of this post was perfect. I have literally just sent a post to someone who is being very negative in my life and apologised for my part in our last "discussion". I feel that this post is my reward – God has used it as a word to me.

    I'd also like to say I totally agree with putting God first, it does make a difference.

  • http://www.thewritingspa.com/ Mary DeMuth

    I lamented about the presence of what you might call “an enemy” in my life. Many times I entreated the Lord to remove this person from my life, only to be reminded of 2 Corinthians 12:9-10. The thorn Paul talks about is meant to keep him from exalting himself.

    I thought about this a long time, finally able to thank God for this thorn. Because of this person in my life, I am humbled and I don’t easily lapse into pride. I’m broken, which makes me more available to God and His strength.

  • http://www.thewritingspa.com/ Mary DeMuth

    I lamented about the presence of what you might call “an enemy” in my life. Many times I entreated the Lord to remove this person from my life, only to be reminded of 2 Corinthians 12:9-10. The thorn Paul talks about is meant to keep him from exalting himself.

    I thought about this a long time, finally able to thank God for this thorn. Because of this person in my life, I am humbled and I don’t easily lapse into pride. I’m broken, which makes me more available to God and His strength.

  • http://www.thewritingspa.com Mary DeMuth

    I lamented about the presence of what you might call “an enemy” in my life. Many times I entreated the Lord to remove this person from my life, only to be reminded of 2 Corinthians 12:9-10. The thorn Paul talks about is meant to keep him from exalting himself.

    I thought about this a long time, finally able to thank God for this thorn. Because of this person in my life, I am humbled and I don’t easily lapse into pride. I’m broken, which makes me more available to God and His strength.

  • http://www.thewritingspa.com/ Mary DeMuth

    I lamented about the presence of what you might call "an enemy" in my life. Many times I entreated the Lord to remove this person from my life, only to be reminded of 2 Corinthians 12:9-10. The thorn Paul talks about is meant to keep him from exalting himself.

    I thought about this a long time, finally able to thank God for this thorn. Because of this person in my life, I am humbled and I don't easily lapse into pride. I'm broken, which makes me more available to God and His strength.

  • darvo

    Michael, in this post, you have touched upon a subject I have pondered deeply. I personally endured a period of senseless negative social/psychological persecution several years ago. During this period of trial, I was slandered, falsely accused of many things (some ridiculous/some serious), reviled, denigrated, and rejected. I wondered what was in the minds of people who would hold such negativity in their hearts and then project this onto an innocent individual. This onslaught of negativity snowballed across multiple fronts in my life – work, family, acquaintances, and strangers. I wondered if at times the world had either gone mad around me or I was going mad myself. I read Job and I prayed for answers. My trial by negativity did not feel like the work of God; but it was my faith and a few true friends that sustained me through the trials. When I was personally in the presence of negative people, I sometimes saw a mean horrible look come into their eyes. I would see the light in people’s eyes change somehow and the change made me recoil. My priest and I had a number of deep discussions during my time of trial. He told me to look for God in these experiences. I prayed for understanding, mercy, and help. I pondered how Christ faced senseless denigration and persecution from his own people. The passion journey was brutal on so many levels; but, I contemplated for the first time the psychological torture Christ endured. He was accused of crimes He did not commit, cursed, spit upon, and humiliated as well as physically tortured. Is it not a glorious mystery how Christ could love so deeply those who hurt him without remorse and with the appearance of sadistic pleasure. This I am certain of…a heart filled with negativity does not come from a place of grace. Pervasive negativity should not be confused with constructive criticism. To negate is to destroy. It literally means to withhold something positive. Negativity demoralizes and darkens the world around those who hold it chronically in their hearts. God is in control; so He either sends or allows negative people in our lives. I think my priest’s advice was quite apt. The task for each one of us is to find God in our personal experience with negativity whether it is a single negative person or an avalanche like I experienced. There is always a battle in the mind to be fought. Where the mind lingers, the heart begins to dwell. Put another way, thought is the prelude to action. Words are powerful. Be careful what you say and what you allow yourself to hear.

  • darvo

    Michael, in this post, you have touched upon a subject I have pondered deeply. I personally endured a period of senseless negative social/psychological persecution several years ago. During this period of trial, I was slandered, falsely accused of many things (some ridiculous/some serious), reviled, denigrated, and rejected. I wondered what was in the minds of people who would hold such negativity in their hearts and then project this onto an innocent individual. This onslaught of negativity snowballed across multiple fronts in my life – work, family, acquaintances, and strangers. I wondered if at times the world had either gone mad around me or I was going mad myself. I read Job and I prayed for answers. My trial by negativity did not feel like the work of God; but it was my faith and a few true friends that sustained me through the trials. When I was personally in the presence of negative people, I sometimes saw a mean horrible look come into their eyes. I would see the light in people’s eyes change somehow and the change made me recoil. My priest and I had a number of deep discussions during my time of trial. He told me to look for God in these experiences. I prayed for understanding, mercy, and help. I pondered how Christ faced senseless denigration and persecution from his own people. The passion journey was brutal on so many levels; but, I contemplated for the first time the psychological torture Christ endured. He was accused of crimes He did not commit, cursed, spit upon, and humiliated as well as physically tortured. Is it not a glorious mystery how Christ could love so deeply those who hurt him without remorse and with the appearance of sadistic pleasure. This I am certain of…a heart filled with negativity does not come from a place of grace. Pervasive negativity should not be confused with constructive criticism. To negate is to destroy. It literally means to withhold something positive. Negativity demoralizes and darkens the world around those who hold it chronically in their hearts. God is in control; so He either sends or allows negative people in our lives. I think my priest’s advice was quite apt. The task for each one of us is to find God in our personal experience with negativity whether it is a single negative person or an avalanche like I experienced. There is always a battle in the mind to be fought. Where the mind lingers, the heart begins to dwell. Put another way, thought is the prelude to action. Words are powerful. Be careful what you say and what you allow yourself to hear.

  • darvo

    Michael, in this post, you have touched upon a subject I have pondered deeply. I personally endured a period of senseless negative social/psychological persecution several years ago. During this period of trial, I was slandered, falsely accused of many things (some ridiculous/some serious), reviled, denigrated, and rejected. I wondered what was in the minds of people who would hold such negativity in their hearts and then project this onto an innocent individual. This onslaught of negativity snowballed across multiple fronts in my life – work, family, acquaintances, and strangers. I wondered if at times the world had either gone mad around me or I was going mad myself. I read Job and I prayed for answers. My trial by negativity did not feel like the work of God; but it was my faith and a few true friends that sustained me through the trials. When I was personally in the presence of negative people, I sometimes saw a mean horrible look come into their eyes. I would see the light in people’s eyes change somehow and the change made me recoil. My priest and I had a number of deep discussions during my time of trial. He told me to look for God in these experiences. I prayed for understanding, mercy, and help. I pondered how Christ faced senseless denigration and persecution from his own people. The passion journey was brutal on so many levels; but, I contemplated for the first time the psychological torture Christ endured. He was accused of crimes He did not commit, cursed, spit upon, and humiliated as well as physically tortured. Is it not a glorious mystery how Christ could love so deeply those who hurt him without remorse and with the appearance of sadistic pleasure. This I am certain of…a heart filled with negativity does not come from a place of grace. Pervasive negativity should not be confused with constructive criticism. To negate is to destroy. It literally means to withhold something positive. Negativity demoralizes and darkens the world around those who hold it chronically in their hearts. God is in control; so He either sends or allows negative people in our lives. I think my priest’s advice was quite apt. The task for each one of us is to find God in our personal experience with negativity whether it is a single negative person or an avalanche like I experienced. There is always a battle in the mind to be fought. Where the mind lingers, the heart begins to dwell. Put another way, thought is the prelude to action. Words are powerful. Be careful what you say and what you allow yourself to hear.

  • http://myfavoriteauthor.blogspto.com/ SpeedReader

    I just found this website and signed up for your BRB program! I think it’s a great idea and I can’t wait to see how it takes off!

    This is an interesting question. For me, whenever there are “negative” people in my life, it makes me realize that I don’t want to be like that. Then I stop to think about whether I am doing some of those same things to others. Sometimes I am, and I try to change my behaviour. Sometimes I don’t have anything to change, but then later down the road something will happen to me where I could have turned to the same actions of a previous “negative” person in my life but don’t because I already learned that lesson ahead of time.

    I think we are “blessed” with bad experiences/people along with the good ones to help us become better people in the end.

  • http://myfavoriteauthor.blogspto.com SpeedReader

    I just found this website and signed up for your BRB program! I think it’s a great idea and I can’t wait to see how it takes off!

    This is an interesting question. For me, whenever there are “negative” people in my life, it makes me realize that I don’t want to be like that. Then I stop to think about whether I am doing some of those same things to others. Sometimes I am, and I try to change my behaviour. Sometimes I don’t have anything to change, but then later down the road something will happen to me where I could have turned to the same actions of a previous “negative” person in my life but don’t because I already learned that lesson ahead of time.

    I think we are “blessed” with bad experiences/people along with the good ones to help us become better people in the end.

  • http://myfavoriteauthor.blogspto.com/ SpeedReader

    I just found this website and signed up for your BRB program! I think it's a great idea and I can't wait to see how it takes off!

    This is an interesting question. For me, whenever there are "negative" people in my life, it makes me realize that I don't want to be like that. Then I stop to think about whether I am doing some of those same things to others. Sometimes I am, and I try to change my behaviour. Sometimes I don't have anything to change, but then later down the road something will happen to me where I could have turned to the same actions of a previous "negative" person in my life but don't because I already learned that lesson ahead of time.

    I think we are "blessed" with bad experiences/people along with the good ones to help us become better people in the end.

  • http://myfavoriteauthor.blogspto.com/ SpeedReader

    I just found this website and signed up for your BRB program! I think it's a great idea and I can't wait to see how it takes off!

    This is an interesting question. For me, whenever there are "negative" people in my life, it makes me realize that I don't want to be like that. Then I stop to think about whether I am doing some of those same things to others. Sometimes I am, and I try to change my behaviour. Sometimes I don't have anything to change, but then later down the road something will happen to me where I could have turned to the same actions of a previous "negative" person in my life but don't because I already learned that lesson ahead of time.

    I think we are "blessed" with bad experiences/people along with the good ones to help us become better people in the end.

  • http://www.angelfire.com/ok2/weakandfoolish Rob Sargeant

    I think negative people help to show me where areas of pride are still active in my life. God over the years has put me in places where I felt I was being treated unfairly, or my rights were being denied, when in reality I was being humbled. It takes a humble heart to bless those who persecute you, and use you. Humble character is required to turn the other cheek.

  • http://www.angelfire.com/ok2/weakandfoolish Rob Sargeant

    I think negative people help to show me where areas of pride are still active in my life. God over the years has put me in places where I felt I was being treated unfairly, or my rights were being denied, when in reality I was being humbled. It takes a humble heart to bless those who persecute you, and use you. Humble character is required to turn the other cheek.

  • http://www.angelfire.com/ok2/weakandfoolish Rob Sargeant

    I think negative people help to show me where areas of pride are still active in my life. God over the years has put me in places where I felt I was being treated unfairly, or my rights were being denied, when in reality I was being humbled. It takes a humble heart to bless those who persecute you, and use you. Humble character is required to turn the other cheek.

  • http://www.angelfire.com/ok2/weakandfoolish Rob Sargeant

    I think negative people help to show me where areas of pride are still active in my life. God over the years has put me in places where I felt I was being treated unfairly, or my rights were being denied, when in reality I was being humbled. It takes a humble heart to bless those who persecute you, and use you. Humble character is required to turn the other cheek.

  • http://levellies.blogspot.com/ Jeanette Levellie

    Because the New Testament is so full of exhortations to bear with others’ faults, forgive, be kind and not grumble, I do not believe that God sends criticizers our way. He does allow them to speak, since He allows free will. As a pastor’s wife of 33 years I have learned to break free of the pain caused by caustic tongues: pray and bless. I may be the only one on the planet praying for this individual. God knows that. Although He does not send them to me, just as He did not send Job’s friends to him, He can use their unkindness to benefit us both. I get to practice graciousness, and they are blessed by my prayers.

  • http://levellies.blogspot.com/ Jeanette Levellie

    Because the New Testament is so full of exhortations to bear with others’ faults, forgive, be kind and not grumble, I do not believe that God sends criticizers our way. He does allow them to speak, since He allows free will. As a pastor’s wife of 33 years I have learned to break free of the pain caused by caustic tongues: pray and bless. I may be the only one on the planet praying for this individual. God knows that. Although He does not send them to me, just as He did not send Job’s friends to him, He can use their unkindness to benefit us both. I get to practice graciousness, and they are blessed by my prayers.

  • http://levellies.blogspot.com Jeanette Levellie

    Because the New Testament is so full of exhortations to bear with others’ faults, forgive, be kind and not grumble, I do not believe that God sends criticizers our way. He does allow them to speak, since He allows free will. As a pastor’s wife of 33 years I have learned to break free of the pain caused by caustic tongues: pray and bless. I may be the only one on the planet praying for this individual. God knows that. Although He does not send them to me, just as He did not send Job’s friends to him, He can use their unkindness to benefit us both. I get to practice graciousness, and they are blessed by my prayers.

  • http://levellies.blogspot.com/ Jeanette Levellie

    Because the New Testament is so full of exhortations to bear with others' faults, forgive, be kind and not grumble, I do not believe that God sends criticizers our way. He does allow them to speak, since He allows free will. As a pastor's wife of 33 years I have learned to break free of the pain caused by caustic tongues: pray and bless. I may be the only one on the planet praying for this individual. God knows that. Although He does not send them to me, just as He did not send Job's friends to him, He can use their unkindness to benefit us both. I get to practice graciousness, and they are blessed by my prayers.

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