If you speak, write books, or blog, you will get criticism. It is inevitable. I have certainly had my share. I’d like to say that my skin has gotten thicker with age, but it hasn’t. Criticism still stings.
Recently, I was tempted to respond to a blogger who had attacked my company. As I was considering what to say, I heard a politician on the radio responding to an opponent who had called him a liar.
He said,
A wise friend once told me, ‘Don’t wrestle with pigs. You both get dirty and the pigs like it.’”
That was all I needed to hear. I dropped the issue and moved on.
Question: Have you had a recent pig wrestling experience?
Disclosure of Material Connection: I have not received any compensation for writing this post. I have no material connection to the brands, products, or services that I have mentioned. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”
I think part of this is that we all need to learn how to deliver CONSTRUCTIVE criticism rather than just offensive, destructive criticism.
There are always those who just want to be pigs and I agree completely that they should be ignored but then there are those of us who genuinely want to help.
Maybe you could write a post on how to present constructive criticism?
I have not had to deal with this too much, fortunately. However, I appreciate this advice as I expect to have to deal with it more in the future. In most cases, the criticism from others will not cause near as much harm to my character as I could cause by retaliating.
That is literally the best thing I've heard all day!
http://www.ipeccoaching.com Ryan Stanley
Nicely done Michael. As you mentioned, it’s inevitable that we’ll receive criticisms anytime that engage in a public format in which we put ourselves out there. The important thing to remember is that anytime someone has something negative to say, their thoughts are really more about who THEY are and the life that THEY’VE led then it is about you. In the same sense, if someone finds something positive to say about you or likes what your presenting that is also about who they are, and those are the people who you are writing/speaking to anyway. In others words, we need not worry about those who don’t like our product, because we’re not making it for them anyway. Thanks for posting and keep up the great work!
I am going through that right now at work. I prayed and prayed and even though, I wanted to get down and dirty, I believe the Lord told me to let the matter drop. I didn't want to at first, but in the end I didn't give up, but decided to pray for those who were slandering me. After all, God's in control and He knows the Truth.
I have always liked this quote, I think that it came from John Maxwell.
Roland
Another pig aphorism, unknown source: “Never try to teach a pig to sing. It wastes your time and annoys the pig.”
Hey, maybe there's a book idea here–Everything I Need To Know I Learned From My Pig, or The Wisdom of Pigs, or The Seven Habits of Highly Effective Pigs, or…..
Yes, today actually! Sticky spot….when to speak out, and speak up for someone who is hurting – and also receiving an enormous amount of mockery and ridicule from folks who claim to follow Christ. But, this is a great reminder – thanks Michael.
http://michael-hotard.blogspot.com/ Hotard Michael
Matthew 7:6b
neither cast your pearls before swine,
Some people want to argue just to argue. What is true has no meaning to them. I have had many heated exchanges on Youtube and Blogger. When my opponent resorts to vulgarity and ad hominems, I know it is time just to walk away. The truth is too valuable a treasure to allow the pigs to just trample over it.
http://twitter.com/doughibbard Doug Hibbard
Thanks for re-tweeting the link to this. I needed that today.
Carltown
Yes, I’m involved with a small group trying to lead out city to amend the city charter next week to protect the parks. People with money see the parks as a land bank they can use for highways and other non-park uses. Great quote for us. They enjoy getting dirty.
Julia
Thank you for the reminder. I have had 3 pig interactions this week, ugh.
The mud they sling may hit me, but that doesn’t mean I need to go crawl down into the mud to respond. Here’s to letting go of the sting and staying out of the stink!
http://joeandancy.com Joe Abraham
Thanks for the openness. That principle works and helps us to move on track.
Joe Lalonde
That’s a nice way to deal with criticism and attacks!
Asfa
I regularly wrestle myself from responding to trolling or angry comments.
http://www.WinningAtRomance.com GinaParris
Uh yeah! I blog about sex & marriage and even have a radio show on the topic. You can imagine the responses – I make my co-host at sexymarriageradio refrain from forwarding me any that are truly hurtful! I can say though, that we are called to both attract and repel – and I love the wrestling with the pigs illustration. Besides, the lives we help are worth it all – especially when we’re obeying God!
http://theordainedbarista.com Barry Hill
Gina,
I can only imagine the stories you must get! But what a great opportunity to help people and speak word of encouragement!
Erin Joy Hollister
I love that quote! I keep a magnet with it (worded slightly differently and attributed to George Bernard Shaw) hanging on my filing cabinet at work. It’s been a great reminder to keep my mouth shut on so many occasions.
http://TillerFamily.org/ John Tiller
I need to get the magnet!
http://frankjkenny.com/ Frank J. Kenny
Michael, I used to run a local chamber of commerce. In such a visible community position I was often criticized for this or that. What I came to realize was that there would never be a time when 100% of the people liked me or our positions. It was simply part of life. Somebody would always be upset with me (or us).
Some things that helped me to deal with it was the quote, to paraphrase, “Nobody kicks a dead dog” and Churchill’s, “You have enemies? Good. That means you’ve stood up for something, sometime in your life.”
One last thought….It is not your enemies that hurt you deeply. It is your friend’s criticism that burrows deep and leaves a scar.
http://theordainedbarista.com Barry Hill
Frank,
This is great input, and I totally agree about the scars from friends and family leaving the deeper wound. good stuff.
http://www.kenmcintyre.org/ Ken McIntyre
This is a brilliant post. Thanks for sharing!
Jim Fletcher
That is so weird that someone would “attack” Thomas Nelson.
These are the amazing people who help moderate my comments and provide leadership to our growing community.
MICHELE CUSHATT is a communicator and storyteller whose speaking experience includes Women of Faith, Focus on the Family, and Compassion International. As emcee and communication coach, Michele is in her sixth year on staff at Dynamic Communicators International. She lives in Colorado with her husband Troy and three teenage sons. You can connect with Michele on her blog, Facebook, or Twitter.
BARRY HILL, JR. is a storyteller, blogger, speaker, barista, and is in his fifteenth year of full-time ministry to teens and their families. He lives in Northern Virginia with his wife, Rachel, and their six children—“the circus.” You can usually find Barry where fresh coffee and good ideas are brewing. To join in the conversation, drop by his blog, The Ordained Barista, visit him on Facebook, or follow him on Twitter.
JOE LALONDE is a husband, explorer, challenger, and an adrenaline junkie. He has served as a youth leader for E3 Ministries for over 10 years. He is usually found wandering the woods, enjoying the company of his wife, or running the trails. Joe enjoys helping others expand their influence and leadership skills. You can connect with Joe at his blog or Twitter.
RACHEL LANCE is originally from Alaska but now lives in a Chicago suburb with her husband and daughter. She works in technology and communications for the Willow Creek Association. She holds a degree in information management and is working on her Master’s in Library Science. Given the gift of time, top on her list would be a long bike ride, a great novel, and a farmer’s market dinner. Follow her on Twitter.
JIM MARTIN is the minister of Crestview Church of Christ in Waco, Texas, where he has served since 1994. He also leads a mentoring group, primarily composed of younger Christian leaders, and serves as a Mentoring Partner for MentorNetwork Ministry. He and his wife, Charlotte, have been married for 33 years. Read his blog, A Place for the God-Hungry, and follow him on Twitter.
TIM PETERS is the Co-Founder of Resolute Creative, a digital marketing group. He loves seeing organizations of all sizes come alive when they identify the best digital solutions to advance their cause. Tim enjoys working out, running marathons, playing golf and spending time with his wife and three kids. Connect with him on his blog, follow him Twitter or connect with him via LinkedIn.
JASON STAMBAUGH is a husband, father, former fat kid, accidental techie, and founder of Wevival and Shop My Church. Jason also blogs at Heart Your Church about church ministry in the social media era. When he’s not helping customers, or working on his latest project, you will find him hanging with his family, reading, learning to code, cooking, hobby farming, and exercising. Connect with him on Twitter and Google +.
JEREMY STATTON is an orthopedic surgeon in Louisville, KY. Although he enjoys writing, reading, and running, his first love is his wife and four kids. His family is currently in the process of adopting a son from China. He is also the author of Grace Is: A Practical Guide to God’s Love. He is an avid blogger at JeremyStatton.com focusing on helping others live a better story. Follow him on Twitter.
JOHN TILLER is an inspirational speaker and writer. He travels with his family to churches, conferences, and other events sharing their remarkable survival story. He enjoys real estate investing, serving at his home church, watching NFL and NASCAR, improving his 10K time, and hanging out with his family at their Powhatan, Virginia home. Connect with John via blog, Facebook, or Twitter.
JUSTIN WISE is the social strategist for Monk Development, builders of Ekklesia 360. A proud husband and dad, Justin and his family live in Des Moines, Iowa. When not running, reading, or cooking, find him blogging at JustinWise.net, online at Justin.am, or on Twitter.
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