Find Your Passion in Three Steps

This is a guest post by Mary DeMuth. She is an author, speaker and book mentor. She has published ten books, including her most recent, 150 Quick Questions to Get Your Kids Talking. You can follow her on Twitter and Facebook. If you want to guest post on this blog, check out the guidelines here.

As a book mentor, I’ve read plenty of passionless prose. And as a fellow pilgrim, I’ve listened to many people who shyly look away when I ask them what their passion is. Why is that? I have a hunch that many of us have a hard time identifying our passion. Why? Several reasons:

A Man Rock Climbing a Huge Boulder - Photo courtesy of ©iStockphoto.com/vernonwiley, Image #15344162

  • Our insecurities define us more than our hidden, suppressed dreams.
  • We are afraid to boast.
  • We see the vastness of the world and feel insignificant or overwhelmed to make a difference.
  • We feel it’s selfish to become introspective.
  • We’re extremely busy maintaining an overbooked life and don’t have time to reconsider why we’re working ourselves to death.
  • We think it’s wrong to do what we love.
  • We feel the sting of rejection the last time we tried operating in our passion, and we’ve let that rejection scare us.
  • We are afraid if we identify it, we’ll have to do something, to act on it (and that means risking failure).

Which excuses resonate with you? Why?

I don’t write this to impugn, though. I write this to entice and instruct. You can find your passion. In fact, you will find it. Here are three simple steps.

  1. Where does need and joy collide? Theologian Frederick Buechner wrote this: “Vocation is where our greatest passion meets the world’s greatest need.” I would add to that: our ministry is the intersection of our passion and the world’s greatest need. One way to determine your passion, though, is discovering what you believe to be the world’s greatest need. The passion flows from that.

    For instance, I believe the world’s greatest need is to heal from the past to live freely today. My passion is to write in such a way that I can help people live free.

    So, what is the world’s greatest need, according to you? What you hope to do about that gets at your passion.

  2. Do the three-movie exercise. One of the favorite things I do with groups is to do this exercise I learned about on a writer’s loop. Without thinking too much, list your three favorite movies. Here are three of mine:
    • Star Wars
    • Lord of the Rings
    • To Kill a Mockingbird

    Now, examine those three movies and determine the common thread that runs through each.

    Mine? Outcasts who overcome their past to absolutely change the world.

    This statement closely resembles (if not mimics) your passion in this life. Try it. You’ll be stunned at how closely the thread hints at your passion. I’d love for you to share your three movies and the common thread in the comments below.

  3. Ask others about “one thing.” When I struggled to find my passion, I knew I was too close to myself to identify it. So I emailed several of my friends and posted on my Facebook wall this question: “What is my one thing?”

    Though I received tons of responses (thankfully), I was surprised at how very similar the responses were. I know this might seem awkward or self-serving, but I found that people were much more open to my request than I initially believed they would be. And they were entirely insightful. Take a risk and ask. What can it hurt?

    Your “one thing” answers will strongly indicate your passion.

A final thought: Once you’ve identified your passion, you can begin to reorient your life around it. You can make difficult decisions in order to do the thing God has uniquely created you to do. Just think of how the Kingdom of God would explode if we dared to live from our passion!

Question: Based on the above, how would you define your passion? You can leave a comment by clicking here.
Disclosure of Material Connection: Some of the links in the post above are “affiliate links.” This means if you click on the link and purchase the item, I will receive an affiliate commission. Regardless, I only recommend products or services I use personally and believe will add value to my readers. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

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  • Bruszika

    Wow, man, this 3-movie exercise was a big hit for me! Such a simple but powerful, immediate tool! Great job! My movies were the Artist, the Godfather-series, and the Hours (I added Sense and Sensibility, Stranger by Fiction, and You’ve got mail, the but it really could be a long long list) and the underlying theme I think would be “accepting the change”. Loved this exercise, I am utterly grateful that you shared this. God bless you. Agnes

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1031596856 Maya D Gaddie

    I had a hard time choosing 3 and believing that they are my absolute favorites, so I added a 4th one for comparison. My four are The Sweetest Thing, Talk to Me, The Sound of Music and Eat, Pray Love. There are many others that I have really enjoyed, but if I had to watch a movie again right now and really enjoy it, those would be the 4. As far as similarities… When I think of the lead actor in the movie, they all come from a nontraditional background or have a story that would make for good conversation at a dinner party. They all also struggle to overcome in some way and they overcome that struggle and reach their ultimate goal. In the Sound of Musc and Talk to Me, it is to help others. In The Sweetest Thing and Eat, Pray, Love it is to help themselves achieve a full life and happiness. 

  • Serenity

    Just came across this article.  Was in need of such insight.  As for my 3 movies, I’m slightly embarrassed to admit that my favorites are Legally Blonde, Clueless, and Mr and Mrs Smith.  I must admit that my like for the first two involved the fashion sense and quirkiness of the characters.  Plus, I do enjoy comedies.

  • Jenniferw

    Lion King, My Big Fat Greek Wedding, As Good As It Gets….common thread is the journey of self-discovery en route to becoming the “real” that you were intended to be…royal, fulfilled, able to give and receive love and, most of all, to find joy in true personal identity in spite of failures, others’ perceptions or expectations, and self-imposed limitations..

  • Ivan

    1. Shawshank Redemption
    2. No Country for Old Men
    3. Inception & Sixth Sense (can’t seperate the two)

    Any suggestions? 

  • Christine Steenster

    1. National Treasure
    2. Music Man
    3. Sound of Music

    I can’t find a theme here! Anyone care to take a guess?

  • Patsy Arthurs

    3 movies – interesting idea.  Mine are Romeo and Juliet, One Week and Sleepless in Seattle.  The common thread?  Following your heart.  Not as helpful as it sounds – what’s in my heart?

  • Suzanne Norman

    My three favorite movies are On The Waterfront, Tim, and Silas Marner…what common tread do you see?

  • Vividsplendiferous

    enchanted april the enchanted cottage 
    under the tuscan sun

    Unhappy women who were transformed by a house/beautiful place, simple work/rest.  They found out how to love, be beautiful, and be lovable.
    Thank you for this post.

  • Penney Woods

    My top three movies are Serendipity, City Slickers and You’ve got mail.  There are many movies that I love to watch and I take things from all of them.  These three are the ones I always seem drawn to when I need to feel better about life.

  • Stephen Savage

    I just love passion and i believe i have chased the wrong visions and i have now come to realize that my greatest Passion of all is Jesus Christ and my second Passion is Painting in the art form that is! Thank you for the wonderful exploration of my true self. My Favorite movies are “Amadaues”, “Fried Green Tomatos” and “Chariots of Fire”
    God Bless

  • http://profile.yahoo.com/LMXX3MRN7KLP3VGOOGNNJXG5N4 GnarG

    The Game, Dumb and Dumber, and The Big Lebowski…  A person gets caught up in something much bigger than themselves, and it turns out to be other than it seems…  what does that mean?

  • Jennie

    My three favorite movies, without over thinking anything, were: The Newsies, Tombstone, and The Notebook.  

    I’m not sure if this means that I like to live in the past or what.  I am desperately trying to find my passion.  I feel like I am close, but I don’t let myself get there.  I guess my problems are deeper than I think.

  • Brianrabahy22

    Troy, Gladiator, Rocky Series. Whats my trend?

  • Palurister

    I like this post very much..and 3 movies..unable to draw out of them but still feel ther is something common in them…amazing… THE TROY, DA VINCI CODE, THE PURSUIT OF HAPPINESS..can u help me with this…

  • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1-ST9qTMn7g JP Morgan Jr

    This whole thing about “finding your passion” is a bit misleading I think. The truth is most people who live passionate lives don’t search for their passion, find it and then start living it. It just doesn’t work like that.

    I think you are starting in the right place with listing interests, but I think the idea that one can actually live passionately by discovering something they are most interested in isn’t enough of the story.

    I gave a talk recently that explains my approach anyway…

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1-ST9qTMn7g

    Would be cool to get your thoughts on it!

    - JP :o)

  • Iamasweetie

    I got a degree in Manufacturing Technology because I am excited at seeing raw materials being transformed into a usable product. However, to date, I have NEVER been hired full-time with benefits. Just hired, again, as a contract worker with GM as a Quality Supervisor and do not like it! Please help…

    If it adds some insight, my favorite movies are An Officer and a Gentleman, Aladdin and Chorus Line. Love to cook, clean, iron, sew, dance, sing, write poems, hike, bike, photography, listen to music… Have three kids who are college grads and gainfully employed and living in San Francisco, CA, Boston, MA and Philadelphia, PA… I am in Cleveland, OH and would love to be near them all or at least one of them.

    Your insight and suggestions would be most appreciated!

  • Dave Weber

    Finding my three favorite movies was tough, I have seen so many that I sincerely enjoyed.  I like action movies like Borne Identity, but that is not one I would watch over and over again.  Movies I would watch, and have watched, even with commercials, are Forrest Gump, Road House, Lord of The Rings, Star Wars, Forever Strong, Facing the Giants and Back to The Future.  Sorry for the extra movies, but in each one, the main character has to overcome tremendous odds.  They are “the little guy” facing overwhelming challenges to  emerge victorious.  They each fight their own inner demons while simultaneously and bravely take steps toward their ultimate goal/plan.  As they fight the adversary, they find their inner strength — God, the Force, Family or recognition that they are a good human being.  It is that inner strength that helps them accomplish so much, perhaps, even more than they ever thought possible.  I think what I like most is the character’s growth throughout the movie.

  • Rgodbee

    I need help figuring out what my three movies mean, please :). I loved Up, The Patriot (Mel Gibson), and Pay It Forward. Thanks for this article, by the way… very inspiring and helpful. I’m in the process of switching careers; serving others in an area in which I am passionate is the best way for me to serve the Lord. I just need to figure that out what that is first.

  • http://twitter.com/Kevin_Velasco Kevin Velasco

    I came up with a series of questions designed to help with finding your passion. 

    Passion Questions?
    Your answers to the following questions will provide hints & indicators with where to start. Careful consideration, inner-reflection, group discussion, and coming up with your own questions is highly encouraged.

    Hypothetical
    What would you do all day, every day if you had all of the time, freedom, love, sex, money, power, and confidence in the world?

    Past
    What did your parents make you quit to focus on school?
    What did your parents make you give up because “there is no money to be made or future to be had with that”?
    What did your parents make you quit or give up because “that is too risky”?
    What have your friends suggested you do/attempt, but you made excuses not to?
    What is something you’ve reacted with, “I could never do that” but have yet to actually attempt?
    What did you dream about doing or becoming as a kid?
    What did you enjoy during childhood?
    What did you enjoy about your favorite classes?
    What have people complimented you on or thanked you for doing?

    Present
    What are your weaknesses?
    What are your strengths?
    What is a medium you use to creatively express yourself?
    What have you always wanted to do or experience?
    What topics do you spend hours reading websites, books, or blogs on?
    What activities cause you to get lost in the moment and lose track of time?
    What do you enjoy doing when you are in solitude?
    What do you currently wish of doing or becoming?
    What is on your “bucket list”?
    What do you tell people you’ll do “one day”?

    Other People
    What do you judge people for doing?
    What actions do people do that make you jealous?
    What do you enjoy doing with friends?
    What activities do you enjoy spectating?
    What do you want to talk about or share with others (but might not have anyone to talk to or share with)?
    What activities are your friends doing on Facebook that spark your interest?
    What do you find yourself frequently posting on Facebook to share with others?

    Emotions
    When you feel bored, what would you rather be doing (other than Facebooking)?W
    hat activities put you in a child-like state of mind?
    What do you enjoy doing as a form of self-therapy?
    What activities cause you to experience much joy and peace?
    What gives you a confidence/ego boost when you perform well at something?
    What gives you feelings of inspiration?

    For the entire article, check out: http://www.kevinvelasco.com/finding-your-passion-with-passion-probing/

  • Vroni

    Hi Michael, mine are:
    1.     
    Last of the Mohicans

    2.     
    Practical Magic

    3.     
    Avatar

    I see this as – Outcasts who follow their heart to flow with life, the environment
    and trusting the Universe and coming from a place of love, and whom fight for
    truth and freedom….. whilst this reflect my passion in life, i can’t see how this can translate into what i could be doing in my life.

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