Find Your Passion in Three Steps

This is a guest post by Mary DeMuth. She is an author, speaker and book mentor. She has published ten books, including her most recent, 150 Quick Questions to Get Your Kids Talking. You can follow her on Twitter and Facebook. If you want to guest post on this blog, check out the guidelines here.

As a book mentor, I’ve read plenty of passionless prose. And as a fellow pilgrim, I’ve listened to many people who shyly look away when I ask them what their passion is. Why is that? I have a hunch that many of us have a hard time identifying our passion. Why? Several reasons:

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  • Our insecurities define us more than our hidden, suppressed dreams.
  • We are afraid to boast.
  • We see the vastness of the world and feel insignificant or overwhelmed to make a difference.
  • We feel it’s selfish to become introspective.
  • We’re extremely busy maintaining an overbooked life and don’t have time to reconsider why we’re working ourselves to death.
  • We think it’s wrong to do what we love.
  • We feel the sting of rejection the last time we tried operating in our passion, and we’ve let that rejection scare us.
  • We are afraid if we identify it, we’ll have to do something, to act on it (and that means risking failure).

Which excuses resonate with you? Why?

I don’t write this to impugn, though. I write this to entice and instruct. You can find your passion. In fact, you will find it. Here are three simple steps.

  1. Where does need and joy collide? Theologian Frederick Buechner wrote this: “Vocation is where our greatest passion meets the world’s greatest need.” I would add to that: our ministry is the intersection of our passion and the world’s greatest need. One way to determine your passion, though, is discovering what you believe to be the world’s greatest need. The passion flows from that.

    For instance, I believe the world’s greatest need is to heal from the past to live freely today. My passion is to write in such a way that I can help people live free.

    So, what is the world’s greatest need, according to you? What you hope to do about that gets at your passion.

  2. Do the three-movie exercise. One of the favorite things I do with groups is to do this exercise I learned about on a writer’s loop. Without thinking too much, list your three favorite movies. Here are three of mine:
    • Star Wars
    • Lord of the Rings
    • To Kill a Mockingbird

    Now, examine those three movies and determine the common thread that runs through each.

    Mine? Outcasts who overcome their past to absolutely change the world.

    This statement closely resembles (if not mimics) your passion in this life. Try it. You’ll be stunned at how closely the thread hints at your passion. I’d love for you to share your three movies and the common thread in the comments below.

  3. Ask others about “one thing.” When I struggled to find my passion, I knew I was too close to myself to identify it. So I emailed several of my friends and posted on my Facebook wall this question: “What is my one thing?”

    Though I received tons of responses (thankfully), I was surprised at how very similar the responses were. I know this might seem awkward or self-serving, but I found that people were much more open to my request than I initially believed they would be. And they were entirely insightful. Take a risk and ask. What can it hurt?

    Your “one thing” answers will strongly indicate your passion.

A final thought: Once you’ve identified your passion, you can begin to reorient your life around it. You can make difficult decisions in order to do the thing God has uniquely created you to do. Just think of how the Kingdom of God would explode if we dared to live from our passion!

Question: Based on the above, how would you define your passion? You can leave a comment by clicking here.
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  • KB

    My favorite movies: Beginnings, Good Will Hunting, Dead Poets’ Society…I think the theme has to do with identification of one’s passion as an exercise of breaking out of family constraints (or societally imposed constraints!)

  • SR

    Hmm. I guess I’m late to the game here. Three favorite movies: 1. Lost in Translation, 2. Memoirs of a Geisha. Third one is hard.  There are several that are close. 3. Nobody Knows. But it could also be Amelie, Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon, The Prestige, Farewell My Concubine, or Dune.

    The obvious common theme in these movies (the first three that is) is that they all involve Japan in some way. Other common themes?  They involve some form of enduring hardship, navigating unfamiliar territory and trying to understand oneself and one’s place in the world. I think.

    Not sure how this common thread relates to my passion, though.

  • JJM

    Hi everyone,  I just started as an IT auditor at a well-established international firm.  As one would believe, I should be very happy in what I do but in actual fact the contrary.  How sad is my life that I have to google “FINDING YOUR PASSION”.  I know I was placed on this earth to be exceptional and to achieve GREAT, I’m just not there … YET.

    The three movies that came up:
    1.  The Help
    2.  The Devil Wears Prada
    3.  Shame 

  • confusedlady

    What do you get from Hunger Games, Baby Momma, and Hairy Potter?

  • Lisa942

    My passion is marriage/family. I believe we can trace almost all of our societal ills back to 1. The degradation of men… More specifically husbands/fathers 2. The redefinition and “subjective” definitions of marriage and its role.

  • Sybryant09

    My favorite of all favorite movies is “Ever After”, then The Green Lantern, and Mirror has two faces. 

  • http://twitter.com/aibridges Ashia

    Michael, awesome post! My passion is genealogy. Loved the movie question – my top two movies are: Lord of the Rings and Harry Potter (I also like The Wood, The Whale Rider, and Love and Basketball). Anyways, the common thread is that the protagonists fight to save life, fights to be an ethical/moral being,  and while doing so finds family and friends. In regards to genealogy, genealogy has helped me find friends and family (living and deceased) and to save the life stories of some of my ancestors. 

  • punch

    I couldn’t decide what my favorite movies were- I love Its a Wonderful Life, and I love the singing scene from My Best Friend’s Wedding.  (bizarre).  SO I looked at movies I always watch- no matter how often- I always watch the Bournes, Shawshank, Green Mile, The Matrix…

    I am working on my own Happiness Project, and struggling to find my truest passion.  Any words of wisdom?  I’m feeling a little schizophrenic  :)

  • shimelis

    1. Dark Knight The Joker(Heath Ledger) I don’t have a plan I just do things, I am just like a dog chasing a car, i don’t know what to do with it if  I catch it.

    2. Fight Club NEVER BE COMPLETE (this is your life ending one minute at a time, go out and pursue your passion)

    3. Office (I would ask “would a stupid person do that?” if yes, I will not do it.

  • Elen Anais

    My 3 movies:
    He’s Just Not That into You, Chasing Amy, Deja Vu
    Not finding much of a thread

  • DWeb

    Michael, After careful consideration, I am ready to declare my 3 favorite movies. 

    1. Under the Tuscan Sun.
    2. Forest Gump.
    3. Lord of the Rings Trilogy– favorite is the Two Towers

    Reasoning: 
    1. Each of the main characters had hard ship and heart ache that they were able to overcome.  They started over, Francis in Italy, Forest everywhere– but especially after coming home from Vietnam, Frodo and Sam on their adventure.
    2. Each of the main characters had many ongoing hardships that could have devastated them and stopped them in their tracks.  Francis both in the remodel of her home and in relationships. Forest in so many places– Vietnam, Shrimp Boat and of course, Jenny.  Frodo and Sam, well, virtually every scene.  But they all kept going and eventually had the success they were looking for.  It did not happen the way they expected, but none the less, success did happen. 
    3. Each main character owed much of their success to other trusted friends and they were more than willing to share that success and glory with those trusted friends.    Francis to the construction workers, towns people and her friends from America.  Forest to Bubba and his memory, Lt. Dan, Mama and Jenny.  Frodo and Sam to the fellowship.

     Ok, part two done.  I am still working on the worlds greatest need.   Perhaps it is forgiveness of self.  Getting over the past (failures, sins, hurts and even successes…) starting fresh and persevering or enduring to the end.  Overcoming what life throws at you.  Well how about that.  I think i just completed step 1.

    I have come to believe that my “One Thing” is helping others meet their dreams and goals.  I loved working in the treatment industry where I was part of helping addicts overcome both their addiction and their past.  I also enjoyed the mortgage business where I could help people meet their real estate/retirement dreams and goals.   I have tried insurance, but I do not like the chase.  I don’t have the energy to “go for it” as the industry requires to become successful– and I hate the phone.  Some would go for the mortgage/real estate business now vs. how it worked some years ago. 

    I have been unemployed for 2 years.  I fell and hurt my back, arm, leg, rib, ego and simply do not have that spark I had when I was younger.  Because of the residual pain, weight gain and (OK AGE) my energy level is low and my “gumption”  is even lower.  I tell my wife that my get up and go has got up and gone. 

    I am open to suggestions and look forward to your reply.

  • Tuhendu Das

    sir, what you have written is awesome,3rd point understood and i can do but please specify 1st and 2nd more wisely understood where i can implement?

  • Cathy Wells

    I commend you on reflecting on God. Not many people do. My three movies are Silence of the Lambs Pretty Woman and The Green Mile. I am stuggling with a decison that may affect the rest of my life and someone brought up what is your passion. Quite frankly I never thought about it. Liked your thought process. Will give it a try.

  • [email protected]

    My three favorite movies are splash the natural and the good witch.

  • Susan

    Very helpful! To answer what I thought was the world’s greatest need, I thought… love. The bible kind. Patient, honest, kind and giving. It is no wonder that my three movies were…
    Just Go With It
    50 First Dates
    Cold Mountain (book was better than movie)

  • rogersguenole1

    Great site to stumble upon. Finding my lifes passion has been a frustrating thing to do. Fave 3 movies are Stargate, The day after Tomorrow and Open Range. Not sure of common thread….HELP

  • Abdullahhammam95

    It is the thing that you would spend hours doing and never get bored

  • Bobby

    Inception, Fight Club, and the Dark Knight….having a hard timing connecting them. Thoughts?

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  • Mdperry3

    Braveheart, Castaway, Lord of the rings…  how do these connect?  

  • http://www.richardhanleyjr.com/ Richard Hanley Jr.
  • Jason

    Absolutely simple, but extremely difficult. It seems very obvious to me when reading about Passion, but as I sit here with a yellow pad, questions listed and unanswered, my short-term goals are very vague. Perhaps I need to figure out those before figuring out my long-term. Thank you, indeed, for a thought provoking post.

  • Dorian

    Dorian

    Thanks Mary for your God inspiring post.  I spent the entire day trying to discover my passion in life. I visited many websites and I concluded with this one for today.  I never heard of the 3 Movie exercise before.  I believe a light bulb came on when I started thinking about my results.  After thinking, I came up with the Matrix, Avatar and Gladiator.  My next step is to evaluae the common thread in them.  Thanks.

  • Geishara77

    Something’s gotta give, million dollar baby, dune!

  • Judysm52

    I was on line previewing John Maxwells new book about Growth. Then I stared thinking how do I figure out what my passion would be. I googled and ended up here. My 3 movies are julia and julie, Return to Me, Father of the bride I & 2. So there you go

  • Lis

    I found this just now, But I find it very helpful. My three movies are:

    La vita ‘e bella – Roberto Benigni
    The Pursuit of happiness
    Legally Blonde – This sounds a little shallow but I always remember the scene where Reese Whiterspoon speaks to a very  educated audience and encourages people to speak up, no matter what their problem is.

    If you can help me with the thread, I will appreciate it!

    Thanks!

  • Goodworkstuff

    Wow, those 8 reasons I don’t know my passion, really apply to my life.

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  • Shirley Schild

    So I am thinking, pathetic that I have to Google “what is my passion in life” because I feel that I really don’t know who I am anymore. At 40 I just assumed I would be better in tuned with my sense of self.  In my younger 20′s I would have told you that I was going to be a song writer, definitely. Now in my 40′s I haven’t written in 10 years, at best.
    I thought I would try out you exercise and see if I can  pin down what has eluded me for 10 plus years.
    My favorite movies are “Pride and Prejudice” the most recent with Kiera Knightley and “City of Angels” with Meg Ryan and Nicholas Cage; I am not sure if the third is my favorite, but it moved me in a way no movie has, “Les Miserables” not the one with English speaking actors,  but the one with subtitles. I have only watched it twice, which dulls in comparison with the number of times I have watched the other two, but it was so powerful.

    Curious to know what that says of me.

  • Michael Nelson

    My three movies are Forest Gump, Any Given Sunday, and Friday. The commonality i see is that they all have a underdog story. Someone that didnt go looking for Triumph because they were counted out or over looked from the start but when forced into the situation found it anyway exceeding primary expectations.

  • Dianacarolina R

    Thank you. X

  • Jmlungaro

    After reading your article I have determined that my passion in life is to Love. But I am not sure  what I am supposed to do with that information.

  • http://twitter.com/BrwnSugarToast Christa

    Yikes. I just mentally listed off my fave movies and came up with Julie & Julia, Mrs. Arris Goes to Paris, and UP. hmph…

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  • Gazingupwards

    My movies are; The Greenmile, Cocoon, and Twilight Zone The Movie.. there were others but these were the first three I thought of.. They are all wierd, amazing, and moving??  My passion would be to amaze and move people in some wierd sort of way I suppose? lol  I’m not sure what that means… possibly stand up comedy?? I will have to look a little deeper than that, but I’m happy that I came to this page and it got me thinking a little differently.

  • Daniella

    A New World

    Gladiator

    Snatch

    Though, i can’t really think how the movie ‘Snatch’ fits in the other two?
    That question “what’s my one thing” – I don’t think it’s vert clear to ask my friends, could you re-phrase that question, please?

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  • Lisa

    my favourite three movies are GI Jane, Domino, and Water.
    All three are about women overcoming barriers/stereotypes, pursuing their dreams/goals despite what is the norm.
    Not sure what to do with that yet….

  • SP Hawk

    Movies: The Wizard of Oz (1939), The Taming of the Shrew (1967), White Christmas (1954).
    Common thread: Be true to your core.
    Some excitement, feeling of relief…until I ask “How does being true to my core intersect with the world’s greatest need(s)?”, followed by: “Waht passion(s) is/are in my core, that I should be true to?”, and the wretched practical question: “How could intersecting my core passion(s) with the world’s greatest need(s) pay the mortgage/taxes/food/clothing/utilities/HVAC/transport?” (At which point I start crying, because I KNOW the answer is OBEDIENCE, TRUST and FAITH: the first two words being those which trigger gut-shaking fear, and the third triggering grief for my lack of it.)

  • heather brooks

    I guess I’m super late to the game. So, my 3 favorite movies: Pride and Prejudice(Keira Knightley) Calamity Jane and Pretty Woman.

  • Anon

    For me: Home Alone, Anaconda, Ten Commandments. I have watched each of these at least twice.

  • KnowledgeAbsorbed

    My three favorite movies are:

    1.) Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close
    2.) The Lion King
    3.) National Treasure

    The common thread that they all share? Hmm…well, its taking me some time to think about it, but I have a general idea. I think they all involve characters going on a journey to answer a question or discover the truth, either about themselves or about something else.