Friends, Critics, and Trolls

Fantastic Leadership post. I have many of times found myself speaking out as a leader or have also see those around me uncomfortable with things that I have said or have wanted to do. It's part of leadership. I think the hidden part of all of this is integrity and character, when a leader has those things in order, just keep on walking and doing your thing, know that we all can learn something but it's part of the process.

I'm not at your level in society. So I don't know if this helps. But I would only respond to those not trying to pick a fight. At your level it may benefit them to fight in public. Controversy attracts the publicity they want. People are so rude and hateful in criticism today. I would ignore those types. Its not worth it.
I have spent a lifetime around negative criticism about everything under the sun. Here is what I do to not let it bother me. It may be too simple and not helpful. I don't know. It works for me.

I don't take myself too serious. Somehow this seems to help a great deal.
I don't take it personal even if it is the intention. If I do they win.
Life is too short and will pass you bye. Let them sweat it.
To let criticism bother you. It only hurts you and your health.
Jesus said don't worry be happy. Not that singer dude Bobby.
Find a private place by yourself or with someone you trust and just get silly. Clean silly of course.
Psalm 37:4 Delight in the Lord. Focus on that verse. That's all I got, man.

What is the appropriate response for each type of critic?

I can really identify with this! I had to go through a period of not responding to any comments for a while because it was tilting my writing. I don’t get a ton of negativity, but when I do, it’s frustrating because I’ve done my homework. The positive comments affect me, too. I like to hear them, but don’t want to be in a position of writing to get them… I’m learning to balance interaction with a healthy element of detatchment.

Thanks for RTing this post. :)

Serena

Excellent post…and one I needed to hear. Like you, I've faced critics and lately was falling into the trap of fighting with them. You are right: it is just best to ignor. Thanks for your words of wisdom.

As a writer, especially in Christian thrillers, I have many critics who disagree with every aspect of my writing, from the way I write to the genre (How can I be a Christian and write horror or thriller novels? How dare I?). I have constructive critics who are quite helpful, clueless critics who think they are helpful, and critics who fit your category of trolls. For the first two groups, I send a thankful reply and evaluate their criticism with an honest approach – even the clueless critics hit on something useful every now and then. As for the trolls, I adopt a position where they are welcome to their opinion and it is none on my business from that point forward. Why waste time defending yourself against someone who will never listen to you?

I think you've pretty much covered it here. The "unhealthy trolls" as you call them often play both angles. They're either overly critical or overly complimentary. I'm actually more wary of the latter. It's not that I assume anyone that's nice to me wants something from me, I'm just cautious, and most folks really do turn out to genuinely nice.

I read this with my wife. “Gee,” she said. “You could’ve written this. You are just like this!” I’m learning the exact same thing. Great post, Mr Hyatt.