How to Keep Fear from Taking Your Leadership Hostage

Mikey Robinson is a resident blogger at ThinkAlpha, the official blog of The Alpha Course. You can also follow The Alpha Course on Twitter. If you want to guest post on this blog, check out the guidelines here.

As a leader, you can’t avoid taking risks. Some decisions pan out; some don’t. When they don’t, you may form an illogical fear of making the same mistake again. When that happens, you get stuck in your leadership.

Man Leaping Courageously Over a Gap Between Two Rocks - Photo courtesy of ©iStockphoto.com/PeskyMonkey, Image #10996669

Photo courtesy of ©iStockphoto.com/PeskyMonkey

My best friend is a sales executive in a high tech firm. When the CEO promoted him, he staked his job on my friend’s success (but didn’t tell him). If my friend hadn’t single-handedly saved the company, the CEO would have lost his job.

How do we make these kind of high stakes decisions that pay off?

Fear usually plays a part in the decisions we make. Probably the biggest fear that you will have to face when making a decision is that of failure. Obviously, the bigger the decision, the greater the downside if it doesn’t pan out.

Here are three strategies for overcoming fear with regard to decisions:

  1. Face your fears. Tim Ferris talks about how he faces fear in his TED presentation. The first question he asks is, “What’s the worst that can happen?” Be specific, and as detailed as possible. In doing this, you’ll know exactly what you’re up against.

    Tim also says that fear is your friend. Sometimes it shows you what not to do, but often it shows you exactly what to do. Fear loses its power when you confront it.

  2. See the value in failure. Children learn to walk as they grow up by trial and error. They usually experience many tears, bruises, and cuts before a they learn to walk. Why? Because it’s a process of learning how to do it best.

    The same is true of decisions. The Bible says that “perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment” (1 John 4:18). Fear of failure is wrongly associated with punishment.

    Inventor Roger Von Oech says the benefits from failures are twofold: first, if you do fail, you learn what doesn’t work; and second, the failure gives you the opportunity to try a new approach.

  3. Beware of “once bitten, twice shy.” In relationships, when we have been wounded by someone in the past, it will affect the way we react when we find ourselves in the same situation again.

    Sometimes, overcoming our fear isn’t about trying a different approach to failure, it’s about looking at the root of where the fear took hold, and dealing with it. Usually when we’ve been hurt by someone, (including ourselves), it requires forgiveness as the first step.

    Without this necessary first step, you are likely to repeat the failure, because now you have even less confidence you will succeed. Instead, you have to realize that you are now likely wiser and actually more likely to succeed on the second go-round.

Perfect love drives out all fear. What is perfect love? It’s being able to completely trust. That only happens when you are confident that nothing happens by accident—that even failures are part of God’s ultimate plan to help you accomplish His will for your life.

Question: How has failure helped you succeed? You can leave a comment by clicking here.
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  • http://www.godsabsolutelove.com Patricia Zell

    I like your first point. When I’m afraid, I’ve learned to go ahead and visualize the worst thing that could happen. Then I strategize my response to the worst thing that could happen. So far, this approach has worked–fear loses it power and the circumstance ceases to be the worst thing that could happen. All the while I do this, I ask God for the knowledge, understanding, and wisdom that I need to overcome.

    • http://www.bigb94.webs.com Brandon

      Yes. Fear is a good thing- when it takes over you, that is a bad thing…

    • Joe Lalonde

      We were given that advice by our old associate pastor. What’s the worst that could happen?

    • http://bentune.blogspot.com/ Ben Tune

      Haven’t you found that worst-case scenario very rarely happens?

      • http://michaelhyatt.com Michael Hyatt

        For me, it has happened exactly ZERO times.

      • http://www.godsabsolutelove.com Patricia Zell

        I’ve had a couple of experiences with the worst case scenario–my husband almost died twice back around 1980–and I had not even worried about what happened. I learned through those experiences that I can put my trust in God’s absolute love. I learned a lot about asking God for the knowledge, understanding, and wisdom that I needed to have to overcome those circumstances in my family’s life. I learned how to fight the spiritual warfare against us in my prayer closet–my husband didn’t die. When I envision the worst case scenarios, I have confidence in facing them in the power of God’s absolute love.

        • http://bentune.blogspot.com/ Ben Tune

          I am glad your husband pulled through. Sounds like God is still in the business of making good out of bad.

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  • http://modernservantleader.com/ Benjamin Lichtenwalner

    It is a bit cliche, but I’ve learned far more from failure than success. As you suggest, failures have also taught me to trust more in God than trying to depend upon myself. Richard E. Stearns covers this well, especially for business executives, early in his book The Hole in Our Gospel.

    Great post. Thank you for sharing.

    • http://www.leahadams.org Leah Adams

      I totally agree with you, sir. I have learned more from my failures than I ever imagined. I certainly do not want to set myself up to fail in order to learn, but that is the beauty of God. He does redeem all that He allows.

    • http://www.bigb94.webs.com Brandon

      True…

    • Joe Lalonde

      Agreed.

      Also, The Hole In Our Gospel is on my reading list. I’m just having a hard time getting into the book.

    • http://www.jeffrandleman.com Jeff Randleman

      I have as well. One resource I loved was John Maxwell’s Failing Forward. Great book.

  • http://www.leahadams.org Leah Adams

    Being a Type A person, it has taken me many years to learn that I don’t have to go overboard in justifying my failures AND my failures do not have to speak like prophecy over my future. I never even realized that I did it until my husband pointed it out. It has been hard to learn to simply say, “I messed up. I’m sorry.” and not dwell on the failure to the point that it caused me shame.

    I agree…understanding that everything God allows has purpose…even our failures, has been a huge step forward for me. He is able to redeem all that He allows.

    • http://twitter.com/MacKinnonChris Chris MacKinnon

      That’s a great note: “my failures do not have to speak like prophecy over my future.”

      • http://michaelhyatt.com Michael Hyatt

        I like that, too!

      • Joe Lalonde

        That is a great quote!

      • http://stevencribbs.com Steven Cribbs

        Agreed! It is too easy to let a failure become the expectation and self-fulfilling prophecy.

  • http://geoffreywebb.wordpress.com/ Geoff Webb

    Fear definitely gets a bad rap. I don’t think it’s Fear’s fault, it’s how we deal with it. Fear is meant to be an adviser, not a monarch. Things sour quickly when we abdicate to Fear.

    But in it’s proper place, fear serves me well. It keeps me safe, it matures me, it leads me to the edge where life abounds, and—most importantly—it gives me the opportunity to be brave. Without fear there can be no courage.

    • http://michaelhyatt.com Michael Hyatt

      That’s a good distinction, Geoff. (It also gives me me an idea for a blog post!)

      • http://geoffreywebb.wordpress.com/ Geoff Webb

        Me too! Engaging with this community always stirs the juices.

        • http://michaelhyatt.com Michael Hyatt

          You should go ahead and write it. I will Twitter a link to it.

          • http://geoffreywebb.wordpress.com/ Geoff Webb

            Great. I’ll DM you Monday with the link. Thanks!

          • http://michaelhyatt.com Michael Hyatt

            Super.

    • http://www.jdeddins.com JD Eddins

      I love that description of fear being an advisor, not a monarch. What a simple way to convey a great truth.

      • http://geoffreywebb.wordpress.com/ Geoff Webb

        Thanks, JD. Kind of goes against, “never take counsel of your fears” and the “no fear” campaign. I don’t think they’re that helpful.

        I expanded on this thought in one of my first blog posts – you might like it: http://geoffreywebb.wordpress.com/2009/11/13/friday-the-13th/

    • http://twitter.com/tjbaretta Tim Weaver

      Love the adviser vs. monarch idea Geoff!

    • TNeal

      Excellent, clear metaphor worth remembering and passing on to others. I like your final words as well.

  • http://twitter.com/MacKinnonChris Chris MacKinnon

    We might be able to think of fear over a decision or an action like the fight-or-flight reaction we have to a dangerous or life threatening situation. The trick is to consider the flight reaction as the wrong response. We should “fight” when it is time to lead. (Of course, that doesn’t mean actual fighting.)

    • http://www.bigb94.webs.com Brandon

      Great example!

    • http://michaelhyatt.com Michael Hyatt

      Also, I don’t see people struggling with good fear. That rarely happens. It is usually when good fear morphs into bad fear that the problems begin.

      • http://twitter.com/MacKinnonChris Chris MacKinnon

        I think it takes time to learn the difference. As a pastor I see people paralyzed by fears they never learned to deal with, like getting in front of people, talking in informal groups, or even just meeting new people. For some people fear is fear, and as they grow and mature they will learn that difference.

  • Carla

    Many years ago I learned to ask “what’s the worst that can happen?” when I was about to enter my first horse show as a 32 year old novice rider. Learning to ride was the plan of a friend to help me over come a terrible loss and grief that had driven me to a deep depression. When I faced the ring of mostly under age 20 riders I was terrified. The worst that could happen was that I would fall off into the mud and I’d be embarrassed. My trainer asked next, “what’s the best that could happen?” my response, “win the blue ribbon!” and I laughed realizing it was silly to imagine I could win but the experience of riding would be fun. When I faced that fear and saw there was an upside too, I rode into the ring, still scared. When they announced the blue ribbon it went to “Meisha and Carla!” Yep, a ribbon and 10 bucks and cheers of all my young 4-H friends who had secretly been helping me over come my grief. At that moment, life began a new for me. Facing my fear was the obstacle that, when overcome, resulted in much more success than I had imagined!

  • Karl Mealor

    The book “Failing Forward” by John Maxwell helped me in this area. I tend to avoid things in which I have a high probability of failure, and I tend to dwell on past failures too much.

    Someone also once shared with me that a fear of failure is really a symptom of the sin of pride.

    • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_FJRLITL5IEFHDDFURAESLXOOZ4 Jim Whitaker

      This was an excellent book. I used it as well to help me in understanding the benefits of failure. It was definetly a pardigm shift to think of failing as something that could be turned into a positive, but then again the Bible provides us some many stories of failure that are turend into Glory.

      • http://michaelhyatt.com Michael Hyatt

        I liked it, too One of my favorite Maxwell books.

    • Joe Lalonde

      Karl, thanks for the book suggestion. I’ll have to check it out.

    • http://www.bigb94.webs.com Brandon

      I have not read that one yet…

      • Karl Mealor

        It’s a great read. Well worth the effort….

    • http://www.jeffrandleman.com Jeff Randleman

      Definitely an excellent resource!

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_FJRLITL5IEFHDDFURAESLXOOZ4 Jim Whitaker

    I really enjoyed this post. I have really struggled with fear in leadership as well. When I first graduated from College I was managing a million dollar retaurant and I was nervous. Mayof the people working there had been working there longer than I have been working at all. Despite my fears, I learn to face them by listening to the people who had been there and learning and understanding the culture. When I failed at something, I would debrief the situation and ask what went wrong, what could I do differntly. How could this be better and what parts am I missing. Part of my issues though came from growing up in a single parent household, I had to learn to be self-sufiecient at an early age and grew up with this mentality that people would let me down and I was the only one who could control things. Beware of “once bitten, twice shy.” really related to me because was afraid in the beginning to empower others and tended to try and do everything myself. Once I came to terms with this and turned it over to God, I started to see the rich life of the leader who empowers and challenges those around them. I have found more satisfaction in seeing other people grow and succeed than myself and that has driven me to this day.

    • http://michaelhyatt.com Michael Hyatt

      Thanks for this great story and this excellent example.

  • Joe Lalonde

    Fear is something I struggle with. I think back to growing up and can see it a lot. We were told not to climb trees because we’d fall and kill ourselves, the neighbors were watching to see how badly we misbehave, someone was going to break into our house, etc..

    I’m starting to get better with dealing with fear but it’s been tough.

  • http://bentune.blogspot.com/ Ben Tune

    Bill Carstanjen, CEO of Churchill Downs, once said, “To fail spectacularly is a liberating experience.” I think failure allows us to confront future fears from the wisdom of experience. As we realize the worst-case scenario very rarely happens, it allows us the confidence to take the needed risks.

    God desires for us to live by faith. I think it honors Him when we make a decision and then trust Him for the outcome.

    The book, “How We Decide” by Jonah Lehrer has some interesting information on how fear causes us to over analyze the situation and freeze up.

    • http://michaelhyatt.com Michael Hyatt

      That is a fantastic quote. It’s going in my quote file!

  • http://successbeginstoday.org/wordpress John Richardson

    Great post, Mikey. I can truly relate to number one. It’s really important (though not always easy) to face our fears. One of the best books I’ve read on overcoming fear, is Take the Risk, by Dr. Ben Carson. In the book he has a four fold approach to fear and risk. He asks four simple questions…

    1. What is the worse that can happen if I do this?
    2. What is the worse that can happen if I don’t do this
    3. What is the best that can happen if I do this?
    4. What is the best that can happen if I don’t do this?

    What many of us don’t realize is that there is risk in not doing something. I remember the first time I had to speak in front of an audience back in high school. I was terrified. Yet through the encouragement of a great teacher, I was able to make it through. While there was a seemingly big risk of embarrassment that day, the risk of not doing it would have been much greater. Had I not been able to overcome my fear that morning, I would have carried that fear with me and it would have affected my entire career.

    This simple four step questionnaire has really helped me see the whole picture and is a great guide to making tough decisions.

    • http://bentune.blogspot.com/ Ben Tune

      I never think to ask questions 2 and 4. Thanks for sharing.

    • http://stevencribbs.com Steven Cribbs

      Looking at both sides is important … and something that we easily miss. It seems like we often tend to fixate on one side of the issue. Thanks for the four questions.

      • http://successbeginstoday.org/wordpress John Richardson

        The Don’t questions often have the bigger ramifications. I’ve missed a lot of opportunities by procrastinating and not answering those queries.

        • http://LookingForPurpose.com Dylan Dodson

          The “don’t” questions are so easily overlooked, great questions!

        • http://stevencribbs.com Steven Cribbs

          Very true. I have missed many of those opportunities as well. I have also gotten stuck at times in trying to decide between the gravity of the Do and Don’t questions – and then procrastination wins out and I miss the opportunity.

    • http://www.bigb94.webs.com Brandon

      That’s good!

    • http://www.alpha.org/blog Mikey

      “Indecision is the seedling of fear” – Napoleon Hill

    • TNeal

      John,

      Thanks for sharing the four questions. I’m familiar with asking the negative aspect, “what’s the worst…?” in making a decision but I’ve not thought about the positive, “what’s the best…?” That’s helpful.

      I appreciate your own story as well. Wonderful!

  • http://www.confessionsofalegalist.com Jeremy@confessionsofalegalist

    Fear is a strong motivator, either to do something or to avoid something. It can be helpful to try understand your own motivations and see if fear is part of it.

  • http://LookingForPurpose.com Dylan Dodson

    See value in the face of fear, this is often easily overlooked.

  • Timothy Fish

    When I was in high school, the music teacher was laid off because of budget problems. I took it upon myself to start a glee club. I went into that situation with the desire to succeed, but little else. We met a couple of times, but the club never got off the ground. That failure has greatly influenced the way I handle meetings when I am the chairman of a committee or when I moderate some other kind of meeting. As much as possible, I am prepared ahead of time so that when we meet we are not sitting around deciding what we need to discuss but we can jump directly to the decisions that need to be made.

  • http://www.jdeddins.com JD Eddins

    This post was really timely for me. I have been in charge of implementing a new software package at work that hasn’t gone as smoothly as I had hoped. I have learned a lot already through this process because of the mistakes that I made, not the question is, will it change the way I act in the future?

    • http://www.alpha.org/blog Mikey

      The best book I’ve read recently was called “Rework”. It’s from the guys who created Ruby on Rails. It’s their crystallized work practices. Have a read, it’ll likely change the way you think about alot of what you do…

  • Anonymous

    “Courage allows the successful woman to fail-
    And learn powerful lessons from failure-
    So that in the end she didn’t fail at all”
    Maya Angelou

    I have that quote on my blog and I think it describes my life. Visualizing the worst that can happen really helps. After a major failure, realizing how it was ‘that bad’ and ‘I’m still here’ is important. Otherwise, the failure becomes food for fear.

    • http://michaelhyatt.com Michael Hyatt

      I have really enjoyed Maya Angelou’s writings.

  • http://stevencribbs.com Steven Cribbs

    I have recently been trying to teach these concepts to my eight-year-old. He does not like to try something unless he knows that he will succeed. I have seen this paralyze him in learning opportunities and social situations.

    • http://joshuamhood.com Josh Hood

      I wonder if that’s how God feels about us sometimes?

      • http://stevencribbs.com Steven Cribbs

        I could only imagine that the answer is a resounding ‘Yes’.

      • http://michaelhyatt.com Michael Hyatt

        Great question.

      • http://www.bigb94.webs.com Brandon

        Yep. That is true!

    • http://www.alpha.org/blog Mikey

      I wish I could say I was more of an expert in parenting techniques. But it is probably a habit you want to break him out of now. I’ve seen adults with exactly the same issues. Fear of trying, making decisions or challenging the status quo may not help him later in life

      • http://stevencribbs.com Steven Cribbs

        I agree. These are things that are better to learn early in life. It’s been fun to watch him engage in basketball over the last couple of months. It is giving him opportunities that parallel life – to “get in the game”, learn about team-work, sticking with it even when it seems hard, sticking with your game (morals) when others don’t, etc.

  • Jim

    Fear is a great guide. It’s a great indicator of what you should be dealing with right now.

    • http://www.bigb94.webs.com Brandon

      Exactly! Fear is always gonna be there. You just have to know how to stop it in its tracks. Personally, I think it is great to have some fear… that’s what drives us!

  • http://stevencribbs.com Steven Cribbs

    If you think about it, I can see conversations like today’s as part of God’s prompting on this subject – challenging each of us to think about our fears and failures and realizing that we can learn from them. And, through the conversation, we learn that we are not alone, we are encouraged, and we are challenged to keep moving forward – even when it’s difficult.

    • http://www.bigb94.webs.com Brandon

      True. God never leaves us in the heat of the battle! That’s the great thing!

  • Guest

    I remember that there were certain points in my life where I was motivated by fear. One very clear instance that I will never forget is when I was trying to break out of being an uneducated blue collar worker jumping from job to job, to finding a career that would help to fulfill the goals I wanted to accomplish. I had no formal education or training, but I made a decision.
    I started by asking myself what do I have to offer? I naively thought I had the “gift of the gab” and could use that to woo my way into a six figure income. I then created a resume that highlighted that “talent”, no lies, nothing unethical, just a really strong focus on that and my hunger to get the chance to prove to a company that I could do it. That and using recruiters were what got me to my first interview for a “real” job.
    The interview was set up, I got dressed to the nines and looked gooood. I was cocksure and I was going to get that job.
    About twenty minutes into the interview the guy, who was sharper than me, across the boardroom table said to me “Who the F&^% do you think you are?”, I am not exaggerating the expletive, that is precisely what he said to me. He went on to say or ask “Do you know how much time and money is at stake here? Not just for me flying in and conducting this interview, but the job itself is a $70K a year sales job selling our product to the likes of Lockheed Martin, NASA, etc. And you come in here as a snot nosed, unprepared and wasting my time by not even knowing what we do???? Get out of my sight” and that was how the interview ended.
    Now I don’t agree with the “how” things were said, but I will tell you that the person was right. I scurried out of the interview as a child man about three inches tall. I remember sitting in my car almost crying, then getting angry because of how I let myself get into that position and let someone else affect me this way. I was very afraid of this happening to me again, as you said “once bitten, twice shy”. Thankfully I was angry enough about the whole thing that it plowed through my fear, instead of letting it discourage me from trying again, it actually motived me to say to myself “That will never happen to me again”.
    The next interview opportunity I received was for a company that performed engineering services and they were looking for a sales rep. I studied the company, I studied the industry, I called their competitors, I took one of their competitors sales people out to lunch and quizzed him till could barely stand me anymore. I found out who the players in the industry were, I found out why they were looking for a sales rep and what they were hoping to accomplish. I quizzed myself on hundreds and hundreds of questions that could be asked of me and rehearsed my answers. I even found out who the managers were and what they liked and disliked by finding reasons to talk to their secretaries. I did everything I possibly could to prepare myself. I even stalled the phone interview for a few days to get the information, and then stalled the personal interview as well so I could have time to prepare.
    You have probably already figured out that I got the job. I beat out almost 50 other candidates that where professional engineers and professional sales people. Later, the GM let me know that the reason I got the job was that I was the only one that was interviewed that clearly understood the industry and what the company did. That was my first step towards actually getting those six figures and becoming VP of a company with 13,000 employees and offices worldwide. Fear motived me, and I thank God for that.

    • http://michaelhyatt.com Michael Hyatt

      This is a great story! Thanks for taking time to share it. I could write a whole blog post out of that! ;-)

    • http://www.bigb94.webs.com Brandon

      That’s really cool. You have a nice story to tell to motivate others!

    • http://www.alpha.org/blog Mikey

      Definitely a great story. Although I don’t think it is always the most constructive way to motivate yourself, fear can be excellent when you channel it right.

  • http://twitter.com/lancecashion lance cashion

    Great post. I have to reminded about fear creeping it’s slimy way into my decision making. Not just in my work but in life in general.

    Note: Let me preface this story with the fact that my son is a very good boy, but can misbehave when he’s tired.

    I have noticed fear of making a mistake in disciplining our 22 month old little boy. I admit that I have made a couple mistakes disciplining him when he misbehaves (I’m new to this stuff). My wife is wiser than I and noticed that I was hesitant when he was misbehaving a couple days ago. She said, don’t be afraid to discipline our son because you made a mistake or two. Her words gave me relief.

    A bit off subject, but my wife made this observation in my typically fearless behavior. Fear is like mold or rust, ignore it and it can cause major problems down the road.

    My favorite quote in dealing with fear;
    “What would you do if you weren’t afraid?”
    — Spencer Johnson (Who Moved My Cheese?)

    Thanks!

  • http://www.bigb94.webs.com Brandon

    Michael, what program do you use for your site stats? I just signed up with Sitemeter and was wondering if it was any good… I don’t get that much traffic so I don’t need a great software.

    • http://michaelhyatt.com Michael Hyatt

      I use Google Analytics (and a few others). Google is the gold standard—and it’s FREE.

  • http://uma-maheswaran.blogspot.com/ Uma Maheswaran S

    One of the books which gave confidence in the midst of my failure was – “Success is Never Ending-Failure is Never Final” by Robert H Schuller. It really opened my eyes to see the larger picture and persist and persevere in times of threat and fear and danger. All those I learnt from that book still resonates in my mind.

    • http://www.bigb94.webs.com Brandon

      Haven’t heard of that one…will def have to check it out!

  • KimF

    Facing your fears is a great step. Beth Moore introduced this practice in her book “So Long Insecurity”. God told her to go ahead and visualize the worst in a “scare your pants off” kind of way and then to think about what would happen once the worst was over. When you get past the fire-breathing dragon of fear and decide what you’ll do if your plan doesn’t work, then you’ve empowered yourself with preparation and taken the power out of the enemy’s hands.

  • http://blog.cyberquill.com Cyberquill

    Perfect love drives out all fear.

    I thought the perfect was the “enemy of the good.”

    • http://www.bigb94.webs.com Brandon

      That’s a great quote! I’m a big fan of quotes! That’s why I started the “Quote of the Week” series on my blog!

      • http://blog.cyberquill.com Cyberquill

        Here are two Christian quotes for your collection:

        “The difference between God and a surgeon is that God doesn’t think he’s a surgeon.” (not sure who said it)

        “I would love to have God on my side, but I must have Kentucky.” (attributed to Abraham Lincoln, explaining his hesitation to emancipate the slaves because doing so at that point would likely have caused Kentucky and three other border-slave-states to join the Confederacy)

  • http://twitter.com/dbonleadership Dan

    Every time I fail I make it a point to learn from it. They are the bricks that lead to success. Thank you for posting.

    • http://www.alpha.org/blog Mikey

      Hi Dan, that is a great way to see the issue I believe. Though sometimes, the success you find is different to the one you think you’re looking for…

  • Tow4u2

    Hi I work on The PGA Tour I am 6/2 314 pounds and Black with the last name Woods. I am trying to find a publisher for a book I want to write call The other Woods (Tow). Let me know if you can help.

    • http://twitter.com/dbonleadership Dan

      Are you writing now? Do you have a blog?

    • http://michaelhyatt.com Michael Hyatt

      Check out my post I would start by reading my post, “Advice to First Time Authors.” It provides step-by-step guidance.

  • http://mutantminds.com Mutant Minds

    I like what the great American inventor, Thomas Edison said:

    I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.

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  • TNeal

    I’m still in the pursuing stage of being published. My first setback came when a friend looked at my manuscript and used the dreaded “I see potential…” phrase in her assessment. I responded the same way then as when I heard from a cute girl “I like you as a friend…” during my teen years.

    The black night that followed turned out to be one of the best things for me as an author. I’ve learned lessons I never would have if I’d succeeded right from the start. And my storytelling skills have improved in the process. Perhaps one day they’ll even be termed “promising.”

  • Matt Blazer

    Helpful as always. Thank you for posting. I especially appreciate you using the numbering, then I don’t have to re-read to look for a summary. Very helpful, very efficient.

  • http://www.jeffrandleman.com Jeff Randleman

    Failure definitely help me with future successes. I strive to use each failure as a growing platform. I look for something I can learn from each failure, and try to change my next attempt.

  • Susan Savage

    I try to look at the challenge of fear as a cube. The process of examining a minimum of six solutions seems to keep me busy enough that the fear cannot become overwhelming. Besides, this world is of our making and believing that allows me to dismiss the fear. God’s love is pure Love – no room for fear!

  • PoulAndreassen

    Thanks for the kind words. Another golden article.

  • http://www.convenientcalendar.com Group Calendar

    I believe the biggest mistake someone can make is the fear to make a mistake, you will never learn anything if you play it safe and take a passive position, most people will not respect a passive leader!

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    do you sell your domain name ?