Comments on: Leadership and Forgiveness, Part 2

By: Domolirea dragonul care aruncă foc | Ambasadorul

Domolirea dragonul care aruncă foc | Ambasadorul — Thu, 14 Apr 2011 15:19:03 +0000

[...] Ce să facem cu aceste greșeli? Să le recunoaștem și apoi să ne cerem iertare. [...]

By: Top Posts for July 2010

Top Posts for July 2010 — Tue, 03 Aug 2010 11:23:22 +0000

[...] Leadership and Forgiveness, Part 2 (see also Part 1) [...]

By: Spence McDonald

Spence McDonald — Sun, 18 Jul 2010 22:25:32 +0000

This article touched me deeply. Thank you.

Yes, we all have someone we need to apologize to for our misgivings. I know I do. We are not free from the sins upon others. Go and ask for forgiveness. I did just the other day and it will be a day by day connection that will share how sincere I am.

So I was thinking… We have choices. Our choices can be positive or good and they might be bad choices. I believe we are smart people and know the difference between right and wrong. What I have witnessed has been that bad choices always equal bad consequences. It is like a law of the universe or something. Then there are the good choices we make that can produce either good consequences and sometimes bad consequences. Seems there is a risk with the energy of a good choice.

So if there is a risk, do we make the choice anyway. Well, what does your internal ethics guidance system say. If you have high values then the the question is a no brainer. You take the risk and make the good choice because it matches your value system.

Again, thanks for a great article. It was one more reminder to continue on the path of genuine forgiveness.

By: chrisvonada

chrisvonada — Thu, 15 Jul 2010 21:46:03 +0000

Great post Andy, just found this buried in my July 4th weekend e-mails… I read The Heart Mender in record time (not a speed reader). I believe it's your best book yet !!!

By: John Blankenship

John Blankenship — Thu, 15 Jul 2010 17:32:26 +0000

Sounds like good life changing information!!

By: woody36060

woody36060 — Sun, 11 Jul 2010 21:16:05 +0000

We have only three choices in life:
1. Change the person, place, situation or thing that is frustrating us.
2. Divest ourselves of the person, place, situation or thing…
3. Change our attitude as it relates to the above situation(s).
Problem is that 1 & 2 seldom if ever work well. Number 3 however, ALWAYS works. The major ingredient in option 3 is forgiveness. Without forgiveness it is virtually impossible to appreciably and effectively change our attitude. Thanks to Andy for reminding us of this.

By: Father of the Bride

Father of the Bride — Sun, 11 Jul 2010 17:31:34 +0000

My middle daughter and oldest grandchild were abandonned by her first husband. He left to chase pleasure. About a year later some friends from church introduced my daughter to the man who became her second husband. Numerous people told me what a fine person my daughter was seeing. He came riding in like a knight on a white horse. He sparkled and shined and said the right things. His previous marriage had ended when his wife became unfaithful to him. So, it appeared to be two wounded souls finding each other in the night.
I felt a certain suspicion but I decided that I was only reacting to being challenged as the leader of the family and that maybe he was all that he appeared and we were told.
Oh, if I had only listened to the inner warnings. So many people claimed he was victimized in his first marriage. His wife left him for another man and now I see why (not justifying it, I just see why).
My daughter’s husband (now) has hurt so many in our family, church, and city. He deceived until recently he was exposed. He stole money from everyone who gave him a chance. All the while, posing as a Christian leader. Even setting up a Bible Study in which he invited those he was stealing from. He accepted the controversial position of deacon in our church. Controversial, because he had been previously married and some felt that excluded him from consideration. During this period he stole a few hundred thousand dollars from church staff, business partners, contractors and from my wife and I (because we were foolish enough to enter into a flip house business deal with him).
After it all surfaced the family was hurt, angry, and confused. We still have those feelings despite so much prayer. The problem in a nutshell is that he is sorry he got caught, but not remorseful or repentant. He cries, but that is because he thinks everyone is being so mean to him. But if we relax our distance he immediately begins his strut. He has never asked me for forgiveness for stealing from me. He has even asked me to lend him money and a car so he can continue financially. He lied then also. He asked for 10s of thousands of dollars telling me it would clear his debt to everyone. If I’d have given him the money, it wouldn’t have come close to filling the hole. Some of the people who were stolen from have gone to the District Attorney and are seeking criminal charges.
Now about my daughter. She has lost total respect for him. She is still in the marriage seeking direction from God. She has been attending marriage help from a Christian marriage counselor. Last week the counselor told my daughter that she didn’t have a marriage to save. Another Christian couselor had been meeting with my daughter’s husband and upon comparing notes they agreed that this was not a marriage to save.
My daughter continues in the marriage waiting for more insight. She struggles everyday just to live in the same house.
The issue is that no one and I mean no one, not our pastor (who has met with him numerous time) believes he is truly repentant. He just ran out of options. He was exposed.
I don’t desire for him to get his just reward. I surly don’t want my just reward, either. We all just need an honest heart felt apology and inner change.
He still wants to lead. He keeps telling my daughter that she needs to be the wife that God wants her to be and support him without judgement.
Yeah, you’re right. Not seeking true repentance is a product of not accepting responsibility, nor understanding the depth of the pain, anger, and confusion his actions have caused. Please pray for my daughter and my granddaughter. My granddaughter suffers from his fits of anger. He has even screamed that he hates my granddaughter (7 yrs. old) and is jealous of her. What a mess. What deception. What a need for realization, repentance, forgivenss and love.

By: Andy Andrews

Andy Andrews — Thu, 08 Jul 2010 14:36:53 +0000

Yep…that is a classic example of saying, "I'm sorry" for a choice. It never works… AA

By: Andy Andrews’ Blog on Forgiveness…

Andy Andrews’ Blog on Forgiveness… — Thu, 08 Jul 2010 09:32:13 +0000

[...] and the seventh largest trade book publisher in the United States. Read Andrews’ blog at http://michaelhyatt.com/2010/07/leadership-and-forgiveness-part-2.html . And go out and find an Andy Andrews book to read. It won’t be the deepest book [...]

By: Carrie Matson

Carrie Matson — Wed, 07 Jul 2010 17:20:46 +0000

The choice to forgive self and forgive others requires a the daily practice of renewing the mind with truth, grace, mercy and love. This enables a person to live a life of godliness, contentment, joy and unconditional love. When I am referred to as a hypocrite I completely agree with the accusation – no one but me and God know what I get away with in my own mind and in my own choices on a daily basis. No one is as interested in my own self protection and prosperous living as me and God. God however is perfect and flawless and knows what is best for me at all times with an eternal perspective. Because pride and fear often cloud my choices, forgiveness of self and others is a daily exercise that strengthens my dependence on God and my humility toward others. The greatest servant leader ever tells us to take the log out of our own eye before attempting to address the speck in another's eye. Forgiveness is an ongoing choice to live in freedom. The truth always sets us free.

By: Helen Fu

Helen Fu — Wed, 07 Jul 2010 02:53:43 +0000

My father taught me: to forgive others is to be kind to yourself, then you don't have to carry the burden any more!

By: Donna Pingry

Donna Pingry — Tue, 06 Jul 2010 19:33:49 +0000

There have been so many times when I have needed forgiveness and many times when I have needed to forgive. Forgiveness hasn’t always been automatic. There are still broken relationships in my life. Saying you are genuinely sorry doesn’t guarantee automatic forgiveness even if you mean it with all your heart. Hidden in my closet are some resentments and reluctance to forgive as well.
When leadership makes mistakes we expect they are closer to God, more in tune with the Master, less likely to sin. We want to hold them as an example of what we want to become ourselves when we arrive someday.
Sadly we are flawed people..whether we are in ministry or sitting in the pew.
Forgiveness has taken me to the Master’s woodshed and forgiveness has driven me to His feet.
I’d love a copy of this book to share with someone going through a hard time right now. This book has already blessed me and another person I shared it with so I’m hoping to expand the circle. Thank you, Andy Andrews and the wonderful people who shared their lives in his book. I can’t wait to see what God is going to do with this book.

By: K Pate

K Pate — Tue, 06 Jul 2010 18:49:06 +0000

Andy's insight is so needful and appropriate. Thanks!!

By: Deborah

Deborah — Tue, 06 Jul 2010 17:45:02 +0000

I would like a copy of this book because I have been on both sides, the one who caused the hurt as well as the one who was hurt. Of course, I moved on without thinking about a "reset button" which can make the difference in what happens next. Also, forgiveness is a topic that many do not understand or fail to understand. So, this book will shed a different perspective into this topic.

By: Zeb

Zeb — Tue, 06 Jul 2010 16:58:07 +0000

Honestly, I want to be in right standing with God and find the wisdom he wants me to have and one of the things he says is found in Proverbs 10:14a – Wise [men] lay up knowledge. Another passage says to seek for wisdom as if it was gold or something I highly value. I am just trying to learn as much as I can. So I hope that I win thisvook so that I may learn more of Gods wisdom and knowledge so that He can use my fullest potential.

By: sisterbygrace

sisterbygrace — Tue, 06 Jul 2010 16:56:12 +0000

Awesome resource. We all can benefit from it. Thank you for sharing :)

By: cynthia

cynthia — Tue, 06 Jul 2010 16:45:06 +0000

To whom it may concern, I believe that God is the author of second chances. HE has given me many second chances. I would like to better learn how to give others second chances. I have just gone thru a deal w/ the pastor of our church, whom left our church w/out a word as to why. HE is now back, and i struggle w/ not getting angry w/ him for abandoning us. Would love to recieve the book , the heart mender.
thank you so much for offering it in this way. cynthia

By: NT

NT — Tue, 06 Jul 2010 16:39:29 +0000

As a person who works on a church staff, I am always looking for resources and tools that help me grow spiritually so that I may set the example and lead others. Forgiveness is an often discussed topic in the Bible because the Lord knows how important it is in order to maintain a right relationship with Him and with others and how hard it is for us as humans to embody this quality. Christ was our ultimate Example in this area. From reading this post, I believe this book will be incredibly helpful to me and my ministry. I hope you will consider sending me an autographed copy. Thank you for the great post!

By: @hasbell

@hasbell — Tue, 06 Jul 2010 16:31:19 +0000

I love Andy’s books. They are always challenging and eye opening with encouragement to push you along. Would love a copy of his book.

By: Tyler White

Tyler White — Tue, 06 Jul 2010 16:15:08 +0000

As a leader currently, there is so much miscommunication and pain currently, and I would love to have a resource like this to alter our culture, prayerfully towards humility, starting with me.