Leadership Starts at Home

This is a guest post by Kelly Combs. She is a full-time housewife and mom. She blogs at ChattyKelly. You can also follow her on Twitter. If you want to guest post on this blog, check out the guidelines here.

I am not your average leader. My leadership decisions don’t affect the boardroom, but they do the future of the world because I am raising two future leaders. I am a domestic engineer, a home economist, a housewife, a mom. I have found that my leadership at home has taught me lessons that any leader, whether in the board room or the laundry room, can use.

Mom Walking Baby in an Infant Jogger - Photo courtesy of ©iStockphoto.com/DNY59, Image #583369

Photo courtesy of ©iStockphoto.com/DNY59
  1. If it stinks, change it. This philosophy applies to diapers and to decisions. As leaders, sometimes we may “own” an idea so tightly, that even when shown data that the idea is failing, we keep holding on to it. A leader should be able to change. As Gary Shapiro, president and chief executive of Consumer Electronics Association and co-author of a book on innovation puts it, “Mistakes are OK—hiding them is not.”

  1. Time outs are helpful. Sometimes my kids need a time out. A time out helps them refocus and get ready to carry on—with a new attitude. Sometimes I need a break…from my kids! That doesn’t make me a bad mom. In fact, the “time out” makes me a better mom. Good leaders also recognize the value of a time out or as Michael Hyatt refers to it, The Discipline of Rest.
  2. You need to share. A smart mom knows that arguments in the next room can often be stopped just by calling out, “Share!” A 1991 Mercedes commercial conveyed similar advice. When asked why they gave away a basic safety advance for free, by never enforcing their patent on their energy absorbing car body, the engineer replied, “There are some things in life that are too important not to share.” Good leaders understand the importance of sharing.
  3. It’s okay to be “mean.” After I took away my daughter’s dessert in punishment for lying, she said, “I am 100 percent sure you are not my real mom.” The assumption, of course, was that a real mom would never be so mean as to take away a child’s dessert. While my daughter couldn’t see past dessert, I was looking at the bigger picture, her integrity. Likewise, when my husband gave pay cuts to his entire company, including himself, during tough economic times he won no popularity contest. However, his hard, but wise decision enabled his company to stay afloat, while many other companies went under. Good leaders sometimes make “mean” decisions, but they are for the best interest of everyone.
  4. Leaders know how to follow. My kids love to play follow the leader, knowing before the game starts that they take turns being the leader. In my life, I may be Queen of the Kitchen, but my husband is the one bringing home the bacon. I must respect that. Even if you are a CEO, you still have a board, shareholders, or your client to whom you report. Realize that just like in the game, sometimes you lead, and sometimes you follow.
  5. The future is in our hands. My kids will grow up and leave home one day. My job is to prepare them for that. I won’t always be around to rescue them or give advice. I mentor them now, with the goal that they will know what they should do, even when I’m not around to tell them. A good leader trains his people well, because he knows the importance of raising up new leaders.
What leadership skills have you learned at home? You can leave a comment by clicking here.
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  • http://www.godsabsolutelove.com/ Patricia Zell

    I would add the ability to communicate–we made discussions a huge part of our discipline of our seven children. We helped them to analyze their behaviors and the consequences of those behaviors. And, I would also add that parents (and leaders) need to set good examples. Any hint of “Do as I say, not as I do” can undermine our discipline because kids can quickly spot hypocrisy.

    • http://www.kellycombs.com/ Kelly Combs

      Communication is a great one, Patricia.  As leaders we must be able to communicate our expectations, whether at home or the office.  Unmet expectations are a huge point of conflict, so if we can accurately communicate now, it stops future misunderstandings.

    • http://www.betamotivation.com/ Kola

      great insight! talking about kids’ uber perception ability, i recently discovered (the hard way)  that my friend’s daughter is a walking tape recorder! being a strong believer in the power of words, I’m now careful to say lots of positive things around her because i know she’ll remember (and repeat it elsewhere). I think this applies very much to leadership anywhere. Don’t underestimate the power of positive words.

      • http://www.MicheleCushatt.com/ Michele Cushatt

        A tough lesson to learn, but a good one!

    • http://www.transforming4god.com/ Sereta Collington

      Patricia, you are right on the dot, so many leaders are like this and this is why the company sometimes fall when the good leader go. Communication is the key.

    • http://brandonweldy.wordpress.com Brandon Weldy

      That is great and would be very important in a house with 7 children! My first son is only 16 months old but we are already teaching consequences, both good and bad. My desire is to see this boy grow up to be a man of integrity. 

    • http://www.sundijo.com Sundi Jo Graham

      You’re so right Patricia. I was just talking with someone yesterday about being told “Because I said so.” I’m a person that needs to understand. Hearing those words only leaves me defeated, because there’s a lack of understanding. 

  • http://www.timemanagementninja.com Craig Jarrow

    Kelly, these are spot on… and you are correct that they apply just as much at work as they do at home. :)

    • http://www.kellycombs.com/ Kelly Combs

      Thanks Craig.  

  • http://jonstolpe.wordpress.com Jon Stolpe

    One leadership thing that I’ve been thinking about is starting my leadership in God’s Word.  This starts daily at home.

    • http://bentheredothat.com Ben Patterson

      Jackpot! And bringing the whole family in for “Bible Time” together is huge.

      • http://www.kellycombs.com/ Kelly Combs

        A great example of #5, to bring the whole family in during Bible time, and train up those future leaders.  Thanks, Ben!

    • http://www.kellycombs.com/ Kelly Combs

      That is the best thing, Jon.  Seek first the kingdom.  Thanks.

    • http://brandonweldy.wordpress.com Brandon Weldy

      Absolutely! 

    • http://www.jeffrandleman.com Jeff Randleman

      100% agreement here!

  • http://www.ChristianFaithAtWork.com/ Chris Patton

    Kelly, that is a fantastic post!  You really did a great job!

    Of course, before anyone else says it, my favorite line was, “If it stinks, change it!”  That made me laugh out loud (in a quiet house)!!

    Thanks for the simple summary of leadership…I will be passing this on!

    • http://www.kellycombs.com/ Kelly Combs

      Thanks Chris! Hope you didn’t wake anyone up on my account.  I do like to add some humor to my writing. And let’s face it, changing diapers both literally and figuratively stinks!  

      Thanks for sharing my post.  I appreciate it!

    • http://michaelhyatt.com Michael Hyatt

      That’s the quote that sold it to me!

    • http://brandonweldy.wordpress.com Brandon Weldy

      I also laughed! It’s all too familiar, both from my son and in decisions that have needed changed. 

    • http://www.MicheleCushatt.com/ Michele Cushatt

      Agreed! Applicable in a variety of settings. Excellent, Kelly!

  • http://www.itcertificationmaster.com/ Mirek

    I believe than point 5 is the most important. We all (specially the leaders) must to lear how to follow other people and trends on the market/social world. Isn’t the best place for that home with wife and kids? :)

    • http://www.kellycombs.com/ Kelly Combs

      Training up new leaders is so important.  Thanks!

  • http://www.sonyaleethompson.com/ Sonya Lee Thompson

    This is a great post, Kelly!  If I had to add a leadership  skill it would be to set goals, and teach our children how to do the same. My husband and I just went out of town for our annual “State of the Family and Finances” meeting. In doing so, we were able to assess the issues we’ve been having and the ones we expect to occur in 2012 and then set the right goals in place to help avoid them them. As Benjamin Franklin once said, “If you fail to plan, you plan to fail.”

    • http://www.kellycombs.com/ Kelly Combs

      I love the idea of an annual meeting with your spouse to discuss the “state of the family and finances.”  A great example of leadership at home that certainly works  for business leaders. Thanks for sharing.

    • http://brandonweldy.wordpress.com Brandon Weldy

      That is great! This has been something my wife and I have been working on and one day our children will be involved.

  • http://joeandancy.com/ Joe Abraham

    Kelly, this is a first-class leadership post! Especially #1 & #4 are worth heeding. 

    Another leadership lesson I learned at home is about valuing others’ suggestions. It can come from a three-year old or a ninety-year old. We must be willing to value their opinions whether we agree or disagree with those opinions. This amplifies the morale of the house. I find this lesson very helpful in my career too!

    • http://www.kellycombs.com/ Kelly Combs

      Great point, Joe. Respecting those in our home not only makes it a great place to live, but we teach our kids to respect others as well.

    • http://brandonweldy.wordpress.com Brandon Weldy

      This is a lesson I have learned with my wife! I now greatly value her suggestions. I may not always do what she suggests but I certainly evaluate it a lot because she is right so much of the time! … Don’t tell her I said that.

      • http://joeandancy.com/ Joe Abraham

        Sure, Brandon, that will remain a secret!!! 

  • http://bentheredothat.com Ben Patterson

    Leaders sacrifice.

    • http://www.kellycombs.com/ Kelly Combs

      Wow, isn’t that the truth.  Well said.

    • http://www.MicheleCushatt.com/ Michele Cushatt

      That’s been a repeating theme for me this week. As a whole, I think we’ve lost what it means to “deny yourself.” (Luke 9:23) I keep ruminating over how I can teach my children how to live and lead a life of sacrifice.

  • http://twitter.com/burlw Burl Walker

    It took guts for your husband to give everyone a pay cut, but I commend him on making the hard decision that not only kept the company going, but allowed the employees with the pay cut to keep their jobs! Great post Kelly!

    • http://www.kellycombs.com/ Kelly Combs

      That was one of the hardest decisions he had to make, and very humbling too, Burl.  Leadership is hard, everyday.  But my husband is a great leader.

      Thanks for your comment!

  • http://bentheredothat.com Ben Patterson

    “If it stinks, change it” is a fantastic battle cry for a team to hear and experience.

    • http://www.kellycombs.com/ Kelly Combs

      And if it stinks, you hear the cry whether from your employees or the baby!  Sometimes it’s hard to let go of our ideas, even when they stink. But it’s a sign of a good leader for sure.

    • Jim Martin

      Ben, I thought much the same when I read this phrase.  Some people are resigned to live with what stinks.  Kelly’s phrase is much more compelling.  

  • http://wordsofwilliams.com/ Eric Williams

    What a fantastic perspective. Perfect ‘real life meets business world mashup.’ As a soon to be father of my first child, this is so simply applicable in all areas of life. Great post!

    • http://www.kellycombs.com/ Kelly Combs

      Thank you Eric! Congratulations on becoming a dad! It will change your life, and from the “mom” perspective, it is the best thing EVER! God’s blessings on your family during this transition time.

    • http://brandonweldy.wordpress.com Brandon Weldy

      Being a dad is amazing! Congratulations! I have learned so much these last 16 months that I can apply to more than just my home life.

    • Rachel Lance

      Congratulations, Eric! I am just a year into motherhood – it’s wonderful. Watching my husband become a dad has been perhaps my greatest joy. I read tons of books to “prepare” and am here to tell you there’s so much they don’t tell you! Practice enjoying the mystery!

  • http://twitter.com/ragneyi Sampathkumar Iyengar

    A great post. Charity Begin at home as well

    • http://www.kellycombs.com/ Kelly Combs

      Well said. Thank.

  • http://www.frymonkeys.com Alan Kay

    So true and thank you. If you can’t lead at home, you’re not likely to be good at it elsewhere. After all, families are organizations where people vie for support, care, and power. About #4, being ‘mean’, I think this is really critical. I call it setting boundaries, making them clear and being willing to be unpopular when you have to say ‘no’. That said, make sure the boundaries are for the common good. 

    I learned a long time ago to let my child learn make many of her own decision and by learn from mistakes. So, I had to resist the urge to say ‘no’, and practice saying it only occasionally. The result was that when I did say it, there was rarely resistance.      

    • http://www.kellycombs.com/ Kelly Combs

      Alan, thank YOU for your leadership lesson in your second paragraph. As a parent it is so hard to let your child suffer the consequences, but I too have found that the best learning experiences come from that.

    • http://brandonweldy.wordpress.com Brandon Weldy

      Sometimes my son feels I am being mean when I sit him in timeout. His grandmother also feels I am being mean.  Boundaries are important and will help him grow to be a great leader. 

      • http://www.kellycombs.com/ Kelly Combs

        I am a big believer in setting boundaries, Brandon. It is a grandma’s job to feed  the kids cookies, and our job to limit cookies! So keep doing what you are doing.  Thanks for the comments.

        • http://brandonweldy.wordpress.com Brandon Weldy

          Thanks for the encouragement!

  • Nanpiland

    I have always given clear expectations of behavior so my daughter knew what was expected of her and the consequences of her actions. After 18 years she has never broken curfew because she knew the rules.

    • http://www.kellycombs.com/ Kelly Combs

      Wow, that is great. You must be really proud of her. And of your own good parenting! Kudos.

  • Charles Hutchinson

    We watched the movie Courageous last night. Funny how I woke up thinking about being a great leader in my home, then I read this post minutes later.

    Ok God, I get the point. Lead at home.

    Thanks for the insightful post.

    • http://www.kellycombs.com/ Kelly Combs

      I love it when God works that way. Thank you for reading, Charles.

  • http://www.robinsonleadership.com/ Leadership development

    @ Patricia- Yes, we must communicate with our children a lot…trying to understand their feelings, behaviors and the last but not least their needs. In my opinion, a parent is a leader first of all… they must listen to us, especially if their are little, because we only want what’s best for them, not something else.

    Thank you so much for this article… a very good subject!

    • http://www.kellycombs.com/ Kelly Combs

      Thank you! It’s ironic because as a stay-home mom I can feel like I’m not “doing” anything…but then I realize I am raising a PERSON!  This is important work. Parents are leaders, and our jobs are critically important.

      • http://www.MicheleCushatt.com/ Michele Cushatt

        True! But not only are YOU raising a person, they’re raising you! Parenting has forced me to grow up in ways no other life experience could’ve accomplished.

        • http://www.kellycombs.com/ Kelly Combs

          Isn’t that the truth, Michele.  I never realized how selfish I was until I had kids, and suddenly had to give up my “wants” to meet someone else’s needs! And did I ever grow up as a result.  I love that you made that point. Thanks.

  • http://jeremystatton.com/ Jeremy Statton

    Thanks, Kelly. I really enjoyed reading this. Having 4 kids, I can really appreciate your twist on words.

    • http://www.kellycombs.com/ Kelly Combs

      Thank you, Jeremy. Parenthood, the toughest job you’ll ever love…times four!  Kudos.

  • http://successbeginstoday.org/wordpress John Richardson

    Great to see you guest posting, Kelly. One thing I remember from my childhood was that my Mom had supersonic ears. She could hear things and find out things that I thought sure were secret. I think as leaders, we need to have supersonic ears and learn to listen well. If we do, we’ll know what is going on and be part of the conversation. If not, we may be in for some unpleasant surprises.

    • http://www.kellycombs.com/ Kelly Combs

      As a mom, you know when it’s quiet in the next room is exactly when you need to see what those kids are doing! Supersonic ears are critical to parents, and leaders.   (Not to mention having eyes in the back of your head!) 

      Listening and paying attention are critical attributes for a leader. Thank you, John.

      • http://successbeginstoday.org/wordpress John Richardson

        Wow… I forgot… My mom had eyes in the back of her head too!

        • http://www.kellycombs.com/ Kelly Combs

          John, a funny side note. The other day I saw my daughter doing something out of my peripheral vision, and I called her on it. She said, “How could you see me?” 
           I said, “Don’t you know moms have eyes in the back of their head?” 
          She replied, in childlike earnestness, “But I wasn’t behind you! I was beside you!” 

          • http://successbeginstoday.org/wordpress John Richardson

            Man… you must be Super Mom!

        • http://TillerFamily.org/ John Tiller

          My mom did too, John! I’ll never understand how she knew some of the things that I did. Yet she modeled grace for me in those same circumstances … most of the time!

  • Lisa hemmie

    Wow, very refreshing point of view.

    • http://www.kellycombs.com/ Kelly Combs

      Thank you Lisa!

  • http://www.heartyourchurch.com/ Jason Stambaugh

    Great post Kelly! I’ve written these six leadership tips on post-it notes and am hanging them on my wall. Thank you for sharing.

    • http://www.kellycombs.com/ Kelly Combs

      Wow – thanks! Rewriting it to a post-it note is higher praise than a retweet!  (Seriously!) That means application on your part, and isn’t that the goal of every writer and leader (and mom!), to have what they said not only heard, but applied.

      Thank you Jason. That made my day. 

  • http://checkmatesystem.com/ Mary

    I’ve learned that things look differently in the light.  When I worked outside our home, I thought our house looked okay.  I was only home at night though (weekends were a blur of errands, grabbing time to play outside, church and Sunday afternoon naps).  After coming home to be a full-time homemaker, I was surprised at what I found in the daylight!  It was a rude awakening but now our home is beginning to shine.  It’s a metaphor that inspires me to get in the Word every day and to seek the presence of the Lord Jesus.

    This was a great post; more and more Michael Hyatt’s blog is becoming a daily must read for me.

    • http://www.kellycombs.com/ Kelly Combs

      I love the Biblical truth you found in your real life experience.  

      I, of course, am a Michael Hyatt blog fan! The thing I love is how his posts are relevant whether you are a CEO or a mom, and that is exactly what I hope my own post here conveys. Whether we realize it or not, we are all leaders…the question is, are we good leaders?

  • http://www.melaniedorsey.com/ Melanie Dorsey

    What well written advice for leaders of all kinds! #4 must surely be the toughest because you must put aside the feelings in the moment for the greater reward in the future.
    Well done, Kelly.

    • http://www.kellycombs.com/ Kelly Combs

      Thank you Melanie.  Certainly no one wants to be the bad guy. Biblically, a parent disciplines the child they love, and no discipline is pleasant at the time. Likewise, good leaders sometimes makes hard decisions  that are painful, but hopefully will produce good results.

    • http://theordainedbarista.com Barry Hill

      Melanie,
      I definitely find #4 to be the most challenging. And, depending on the child, #1 can be a real treat, too.

  • Anonymous

    Great leadership thoughts Kelly!  One that I believe is essential is one we have all heard of but are challenged to apply daily.  Lead By Example.  If you don’t want your kids to drink, smoke, lie……then don’t you do it.  It is your responsibility to address these issues, but kids follow their parents behavior.  You could even take this to extremes.  The way you treat your spouse may be the way they treat their spouse in the future.  Another example would be to demonstrate a work ethic.  Work hard, don’t miss a day of work.  Leading by example pays off in the long run.

    • http://theordainedbarista.com Barry Hill

      Douglas,
      Yeah, You are so right! We say this around my house and ministry by using the old adage that behavior (truth) is more “caught than taught.”

      • http://www.kellycombs.com/ Kelly Combs

        I love that adage! Thanks.

      • Anonymous

        Father of 6?  You have many eyes on you!  I have 3 of my own and 5 step kids.  Lead around the house and kids learn from our actions!

    • http://www.kellycombs.com/ Kelly Combs

      So true, Douglas.  When my daughter was adopting a “tone” with her dad when she was annoyed, I (embarrassingly) realized it was the same tone I used when I was annoyed.   

      Leadership by example is a great skill that starts at home.

    • Jim Martin

      Douglas, you are so right!  There is no substitute for personal example.  I have found that it is also very important to model what to do when we make a mistake or blunder in some way.  

    • http://brandonweldy.wordpress.com Brandon Weldy

      Having a son (and another on the way) has caused me to take many looks at myself. I want to be the kind of man they can look up to. I want them to be able to copy what I say and do and not just do what I tell them.

  • Edwin Sarmiento

    1) Communicate appropriately. Kids, and employees, have different levels of maturity and understanding. We need to know where they are at and communicate according to their level, whether it’s sharing a vision, a plan or changes that may affect them. Use the appropriate words, analogies and stories
    2) Discipline like a father but nurture like a mother. We need both discipline and encouragement. Most managers practice the concept of “seagull management” where they only drop in on their employees when something goes wrong but are nowhere to be found when things are OK or the employee has made an achievement.Mothers are very good at encouragement and nurturing. They notice the smallest things – from the nice color combination on their daughter’ drawing to the bike-riding skills of their son learning without training wheels. Employees need constant recognition, affirmation and nurturing like we all do.

    • http://theordainedbarista.com Barry Hill

      Edwin,
      By “seagul management” I thought you were going to say management that only drops in when I have an open bag of potato chips.

      Seriously though, I love your point about the differing levels of maturity and understanding. I have 6 children and each of them are very different children.

    • http://www.kellycombs.com/ Kelly Combs

      I love your second principle.  I’ve not heard that before, but it is great advice for any leader.  Of course, communication is key in all relationships. 

      Thanks so much for sharing.

      • Edwin Sarmiento

        I was having dificulty posting the third principle and I thought it was my keyboard screwing up on me :-)

        3) Serve with love. Managers and leaders, especially men, feel that serving undermines their authority and shows a sign of wekness. Same is true when the husband helps the wife with doing the dishes or cleaning the house. They feel that since they are the bread winner in the family, household chores and taking care of the kids are the wife’s responsibility. Christ demonstrated servant leadership with his disciples when he washed their feet. Find an opportunity to serve your staff.
        4) Delegate. One of my popular Twitter pots, “Only do what only you can do.Delegate the rest.” When kids, and employees, are capable enough to handle responsibilities, delegate

  • Lorraine

    I’ve learned on the homefront: In a pinch, you can always stick one or two meals’ worth of dirty dishes in the fridge if you really have to run out the door. Sure they’ll keep until the next meal’s washup, but don’t go beyond one day’s worth or you’ll be sorry. Unimportant tasks like washing dishes become important if you let them multiply. :)

    • http://theordainedbarista.com Barry Hill

      Lorraine,
      That is too funny. I never heard that one before. Can you put overdue laundry in the oven?

    • http://www.kellycombs.com/ Kelly Combs

      I have to admit Lorraine, I’ve not heard that homefront tip before!  But you are exactly right about the lesson that unimportant tasks do become important if you let them multiply.  My desk needs to learn that lesson. (Okay, maybe I need to stop piling stuff on my desk!) 

  • Paul Walker

    Number 6 is so important. We are investing in the invention of adults.

    I would add being ‘present’ in their lives – not just physically but emotionally. ‘Being there’ is something I hope my three daughters say about me when they are old enough to look back. In that last statement I would add – look after yourself…we want to be there to hear them say this…

    Great views.

    • http://theordainedbarista.com Barry Hill

      Paul,
      This is great! I have really been challenging myself to get off “the grid” and really be present when I am with my family. For me that means to unplug and JUMP IN! Thanks, Paul!

    • http://www.kellycombs.com/ Kelly Combs

      On a plane, the stewardess always instructs to put your own oxygen mask on first, THEN help those around you.  You can’t help others if you aren’t taking care of yourself.  Such an important lesson.  It’s a balance to be giving, without losing yourself.  Thanks for sharing, Paul.

    • Jim Martin

      Great points, Paul.  I appreciate your last point in particular, regarding taking care of yourself.  Years ago when our girls were very young, one of them asked me one day why I went for a run (about 2 miles) each evening.  I said, “So that I can be your daddy longer.” 

    • http://brandonweldy.wordpress.com Brandon Weldy

      I think about my son growing up all the time and it is a crazy thought. I do want to see him grow and mature and that makes me take looks at myself.

  • http://theordainedbarista.com Barry Hill

    Kelly,
    This is really good stuff. #4 is very true! I have been called the meanest Dad in the world by my 10 year old (going on 18) over issues like computer time, homework, friends and more. My job is to be a good parent more than it is to be liked or a friend. Love sometimes makes tough decision, and with 6 children I will have no short supply of tough decisions! Great stuff Kelly, thanks!

    And let me just add that my wife is the most amazing person in the entire world!

    • http://www.kellycombs.com/ Kelly Combs

      I’ve come to realize that being called mean by your kids is practically a compliment. It means you must be doing something right!  So keep doing it Barry. 

      I have no doubt your wife is amazing. Just be sure she gets a “time out,” now and then. With six kids, she no doubt needs it! 

  • http://www.oikosliving.com/ cherylsmith

    Over the last year God has been shifting my focus from business and work towards home and family. It’s sometimes been a difficult dying to self, so your post and these principles remind me of the importance of raising future leaders. Thanks!

    • http://www.kellycombs.com/ Kelly Combs

      Cheryl, we are raising PEOPLE! A critically important task, even on the most mundane days. Keep up the good work.

  • http://www.cheriblogs.info Cheri Gregory

    Kelly –

    I resonate with #4. Our daughters could be “drama” twins! My daughter’s response to being told to get back downstairs and finish practicing piano was, “I’ve been chained to that piano so long, I don’t even know who I am any more!”  So tragic: complete identity loss in less than minutes…  

    I’ve learned that appropriate pain and disappointment are important teachers from which my children and I need to learn. In my zeal to shield my kids from abusive pain and disappointment, I over-protected them, even from natural consequences of their choices. I finally realized I wasn’t protecting them so much as I was protecting myself. I didn’t want to experience their pain and disappointment.

    Yesterday, I read this definition of love, which ties in with #4:  “the God-given power of choice to do what is in the best interests of another regardless of my feelings.”

    • Jim Martin

      Cheri, I like the definition of love that you quoted in your last paragraph.  So true.  As a parent, I found that sometimes what made a situation difficult was not deciding what was best for my child but rather dealing with my own feelings.  I learned that sometimes doing what was in the best interest of my child did not necessarily feel good.  Thanks!

    • http://www.kellycombs.com/ Kelly Combs

      Cheri, we might be twins too. I also was guilty of over-protecting my kids. A wiser woman than myself then said, “How do you plan to protect your children from every negative emotion in their life? And if you do, you are robbing them of the chance to learn to deal with them, and to turn to God.”  

      That was a wake-up call for me, and your wise words emphasize the same point.  Thank you for sharing!

      • http://www.cheriblogs.info Cheri Gregory

        “How do you plan to protect your children from every negative emotion in their life? And if you do, you are robbing them of the chance to learn to deal with them, and to turn to God.” 

        This is now printed and hanging above my computer! 

        (My kids are 19 and almost 21, but it’s never to late!)

        • http://www.kellycombs.com/ Kelly Combs

          It made that kind of mark on me too, Cheri.  

    • http://www.MicheleCushatt.com/ Michele Cushatt

      “…I don’t even know who I am any more!” Hahaha. Love the drama. I’ve heard similar sentiments more times than I can count!

      For too long I made the mistake of trying to protect my kids from every harm. They went through loss early on in their lives, and I wanted to make it up to them.  AS IF. Even my prayers were all about God “protecting” them. Not a bad prayer, but is it really what I want for them?

      I no longer believe a problem-free life is what’s best. Instead, I want them to be men of integrity and character who know how to weather the worst of life, learn from their mistakes, and press on with a firm grip on their Father. They can only learn this if I get out of the way.

  • http://cherylbarker.blogspot.com/ Cheryl Barker

    Kelly, congrats on the guest post — very well done! I think prayer for the team, whether family or those under other leadership umbrellas, could be added to the list. We probably practice that one at home more than anywhere else.

    • Jim Martin

      Great point Cheryl.  We often prayed for our children because we knew we ought to as parents who were looking ahead.  Very often, however, we prayed for them out of desperation and dependency.  Glad you mentioned this.

    • http://www.kellycombs.com/ Kelly Combs

      Absolutely Cheryl! Seek first the kingdom, nothing is more important than that.  

    • http://brandonweldy.wordpress.com Brandon Weldy

      That is a great addition!

  • Tim Blankenship

    I love this. Definitely sharing this with my wife. She often relates things in the workplace to leading our family. Thanks!

    • http://www.kellycombs.com/ Kelly Combs

      As a stay-home mom sometimes I can feel irrelevant. Realizing that I am a leader at home, and that I am raising future leaders gives me goals and focus, and encourages me in the mundane day-to-day stuff. I hope this will encourage your wife as well!

  • Anonymous

    Hi Kelly, thanks for this post.  I especially like the point that it is ok to be “mean.”  Making unpopular decision is always hard.  I have has projects go south because I did not step in soon enough to make hard calls that might hurt feelings.  Sometimes, no matter how you cut it, “the decision” will upset some people.  Jack Dorsey, the founder of Twitter, calls it “editing” the team or company.  He believes making swift edits is hard but necessary for the for everyone, even the person that is being momentarily deleted.

    • Jim Martin

      coachbyron, I appreciate the way you’ve stressed the importance of being willing to make unpopular decisions and take unpopular actions.  Sometimes the kindest thing that can be done is to do the right thing.  A person can be “nice” and delay right action and ultimately hurt a lot of people.

    • http://www.kellycombs.com/ Kelly Combs

      Wow, editing the team and deleting people definitely sounds “mean.” But when you think of all the people being “saved” by the one delete, I guess it makes sense.  Good leaders make hard decisions…but that doesn’t turn those hard decision into easy ones.

  • http://www.transforming4god.com Sereta Collington

    Listening is one things I learned at home, never underestimate your children. Same never underestimate those who are below you. You will always need your neck to hold up your head, if you don’t listen to your neck your head may turn in the wrong direction.

    • http://www.kellycombs.com/ Kelly Combs

      Listening and valuing others is important, at home or work.  And thank goodness for my  neck!

    • http://brandonweldy.wordpress.com Brandon Weldy

      When people would come over we would always warn them about putting cups or plates on the coffee tables. Even though Noah could barely walk he could move much faster than they expected. It was funny to watch. I agree, our children can often exceed our expectations.

  • Jim Martin

    Kelly, you’ve written a great post!  I love #1, “If it stinks, change it.”  Thanks!

    • http://www.kellycombs.com/ Kelly Combs

      Thank you Jim! I appreciated connecting on FB with you, and wish you much success in your community leader position here on Michael’s blog.

  • http://twitter.com/lettner Michael Lettner

    Thanks for your post! Love the “If it stinks, change it.” We have a similar saying, “Lettners don’t sit in their poop”, but your phrase sounds better and gets the point across better. We said this after seeing some of our family doing nothing about their situation, but complain, and expecting something to change. They were just sitting in their “poop” and just pouting that it stinks. We want to instill in our girls that you need to take responsibility for the actions and decisions in your life.

    • http://www.kellycombs.com/ Kelly Combs

      I can only imagine your girls responses to your family’s saying. If they’re like my daughters, they’d say something like “Ewww, Dad! Gross!” But you are teaching great life lessons to them. Even if the visual is a bit disturbing. *smile* Have a great day Michael!

    • http://TillerFamily.org/ John Tiller

      In our house there is a “no complaining” rule. Given your examples, I really need to work on the title of my rule!

  • http://twitter.com/LisaHBryant Lisa Bryant

    As a mother of 4 sons – and Women’s Ministry Director – Amen! to your post!  Awesome job- Kelly!

    • http://www.kellycombs.com/ Kelly Combs

      Thank you Lisa! I appreciate your encouragement. 

  • http://www.SpencerMcDonald.net Spencer McDonald

    Great post Kelly!!

    I have been feeling less than a leader of late. Maybe it is time to shake the fog and re-engage from my break. 

    I do like your two points about “mean” leadership and “leaders must share.” These are two new points I have not heard before. Thanks for a fresh perspective. 

    Now it’s time to go be mean by looking in the mirror and getting my act together. 

    • http://www.kellycombs.com/ Kelly Combs

      Thanks for your comment. As a stay-home mom I can relate to your feelings of being less than a leader, but I’m learning that feelings are a reliable gauge of reality. I see you help people “visioneer a life that matters.”  So get in there and  “visioneer” YOUR life!   

    • http://brandonweldy.wordpress.com Brandon Weldy

      I also really liked the “leaders must share” point.

  • http://www.wonderwomanimnot.com/ Elizabeth Hill

    I especially like number 4.  How did you keep a straight face when your daughter said that to you?  In our state right now there is a lot of angst over benefit cuts that the state workers have been taking.  My husband is employed by the state so we are personally affected by the changes.  However, sitting on the other side (I’m a pricing director for a large paper manufacturer) I see how those benefit cuts are necessary for the health of the organization.  Plus, at any time we are all free to look for other employment if we feel we are being treated unfairly.

    As an owner of the business I’m sure your husband has to make many difficult decisions, while the employees don’t appreciate it the cuts at the time hopefully they see that those were the right decisions and can appreciate the fact that he made them.

    • http://www.kellycombs.com/ Kelly Combs

      Thank you Elizabeth. Honestly, when my daughter said that I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry, so I deferred this one to my husband.  Good leaders know when they are too emotionally attached to the situation!

      I appreciate your conclusions on both your husband’s company’s policies, and on my husband’s company as well.  It is hard when leadership decisions affect our bottom line, but hopefully we are working for leaders whose decisions we can trust.

  • http://www.JulieGillies.com/ Julie Gillies

    Kelly, I love your insight and your humor! I laughed out loud over #1 and commiserate with #4. We’ve never owned a video game system, which earned me the title of Meanest Mom in the World. But I didn’t care. I didn’t want my kids zoning out for hours at a time. Guess what? Now that they’re adults and teens, they all read. A lot. All because I dared to be mean.

    Well said, my friend!

    • http://www.kellycombs.com/ Kelly Combs

      Thank you Julie! I think “mean mom” is a badge of honor that says we are doing something right. But it sometimes stings at the time.

      We also rejected video games and I have two who love reading.  As Michael Hyatt says, “Readers lead, and leaders read!”

    • Rachel Lance

      Thanks for the warning, Julie. My husband and I have never owned a TV and I’ve often wondered how I’m going to impart that value to my kids since TV and game systems are such a given these days. Guess I’ll brace myself for the meanest mom badge and wear it with pride!

  • Kevinparsons99

    “To lead the people, walk behind them”.

    Lao Tzu

    • http://www.kellycombs.com/ Kelly Combs

      Great adage. Thanks!

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1306160052 Freda Large McIver

    Great job, Kelly.  It is such a joy knowing you and listening/reading your words of wisdom.

    • http://www.kellycombs.com/ Kelly Combs

      Thank you Freda.  I appreciate it.

  • http://TillerFamily.org/ John Tiller

    Great post, Kelly!  Great guest-post choice, Michael! 

    At home, I’ve learned the leadership lesson that Communication Matters.  Specifically when it comes to setting expectations for time together.  My wife’s love language is Quality Time.  She is very understanding of my many commitments.  But when I tell her that I am going to spend time with her, I try never to break that commitment, for bad things will happen :).  If I do have to break the commitment, I must always do it in advance with a reasonable explanation.  

    This translates to all other relationships as a leader.  Communicating expectations is important. 

    • http://www.jmlalonde.com Joe Lalonde

      Great point John!

    • http://www.kellycombs.com/ Kelly Combs

      Unmet expectations is a leading cause of conflict, communication is key! 
      Thanks for encouragement. 

  • http://www.jmlalonde.com Joe Lalonde

    Kelly, congrats on having a guest post on Michael’s site! You provide a lot to think about. My favorite has to be your first point, If it stinks, change it.

    Two leadership skills I’ve learned at home:

    1. You must be flexible- Schedules conflict, sickness comes, etc.. You have to be able to shuffle things around and be able to react to what is happening around you. If you’re not, things will fall apart.

    In leadership you’ll have to deal with others schedules and the conflicts they bring. While you can’t please everyone, you can reduce tension in the organization by being aware and flexible of others.

    2. You have to be willing to learn new skills- Things tend to break around the house. I’ve learned that I need to be willing to learn how to fix the simple household items that break. A leaky sink, a clogged toilet, or a broken window. Learning new skills increases my value and allows me to do more with what I have.

    Same applies with leadership. If I’m willing to learn new skills, my value as a leader improves and I can deal with changes with less stress.

    • http://www.kellycombs.com/ Kelly Combs

      I am enjoying reading everyone’s leadership from home skills, and your two are great! Both are critical to good leadership. 

      It’s hard to be relevant when you aren’t learning new skills. (Reminds me of a former president talking about using “the google.”)Thank you for the congratulations! I am very excited and thankful to have the opportunity to guest post.

  • http://www.authorcynthiaherron.com/ Cynthia Herron

    Kelly, loved this! Your take on leadership from a mom’s perspective is gold medal worthy.

    And “I’m 100 percent sure you’re not my real mom” gave me my chuckle for the morning. As a mom, I can totally relate. It’s those “mean” decisions that grow the best leaders!

    • http://www.kellycombs.com/ Kelly Combs

      Wow, “gold medal worthy.”  Thank you Cynthia!  From one mom to another, that means a lot. 

  • http://brandonweldy.wordpress.com Brandon Weldy

    Congrats on the guest post Kelly! This was great and I will be sharing it with my wife. I learn so much from hearing about her day as well as watching her at home. Your first point made me laugh when I read it but it is so true! Sometimes things need to be changed and it is not healthy when they are not!

    I would say that leaders need to know how to listen. I think this could fit into #5. We need to listen to those below us, or above us. It helps us to measure how our leadership is going as well. It could also inform us of problems or opportunities that we had previously been unaware of.

    • http://www.kellycombs.com/ Kelly Combs

      Listening is such an important skill. Even when children are so small they realize when you aren’t listening well, and will even move your face to theirs with their hands.  Listening in leadership is critically important. Why have a support team, if you don’t listen?

      Thanks for commenting!

      • http://brandonweldy.wordpress.com Brandon Weldy

        I have noticed even at 16 months my son has caught on to when I am really present. It is important for me to remember that as he grows!

  • Carmen

    130 comments? Wow! Awesome article Kelly. I think being a mom is many-faceted. You’ve outlined it all so well here.

    • http://www.kellycombs.com/ Kelly Combs

      Don’t be too impressed by the comments, Carmen.  It’s easy to reach great heights when you are standing on someone else’s platform. (in this case, Michael Hyatt’s).  I’m honored that he would allow me to do so.

      Being a mom is a big job, and I pray I’m doing it to God’s glory. Thank you for commenting!

  • Pingback: Leaders Know How to Follow | Larry Tardy

  • http://www.jeffrandleman.com Jeff Randleman

    Great stuff!  Since my wife and I homeschool our kids, these lessons seem especially fitting.  Thanks!

    • http://www.kellycombs.com/ Kelly Combs

      Thank you Jeff.

  • http://twitter.com/CoachTheresaIF Theresa Ip Froehlich

    As a mom who has raised 2 kids, now in their early 20′s, I totally get what you mean. If I am honest with myself, I think I would have been a much better mother if I had thought of parenting as leadership back then.

    Nonetheless, both my husband (who is the chief in his workplace) and I are noticing each day how our parenting experience has equipped us as leaders in the the workplace and in our communities. When we lead a small group at church, for example, we’re sort of like being moms and dads to the group members.
     
    Thank you so much for posting this one.
     
    Theresa Froehlich
     

    • http://www.kellycombs.com/ Kelly Combs

      Thank you Theresa. I love what you said about your small group. When we mentor people, we really are filling that “parenting” role, even in the workplace.  I hadn’t thought of that in the small group setting, but you are right on.

    • Rachel Lance

      What great observations to consider as I start out in motherhood. Thanks for sharing your insights!

  • http://www.sundijo.com Sundi Jo Graham

    I love this Kelly. There is no CEO without first being led in the home, whether they’ve received good or bad leadership in the home. 

    Thank you for sharing. 

    • http://www.kellycombs.com/ Kelly Combs

      Thanks Sundi Jo! I’m sure you’ve heard the phrase, “Behind every great man, there is a great woman.”  Who knew they meant his mom?  *smile*

      • http://www.sundijo.com Sundi Jo Graham

        Yes, absolutely!

  • http://joyfulmothering.net Christin

    Awesome parallel and ideas, Kelly. Thank you for sharing them here. :)

    • http://www.kellycombs.com/ Kelly Combs

      Thank you for commenting, Christin.

  • Edie

    Great points Kelly! I think #6 is often overlooked both in
    the home and in business. We often neglect to consider that we will, at some
    point, pass the mantle to someone else. That’s person’s decisions, whether they
    are our children or business associate, are likely to affect our lives long
    after the “training” is over.

    • http://www.kellycombs.com/ Kelly Combs

      Exactly. What kind of legacy do we want to leave? It’s won’t be much of one, without adequate training and development of those coming behind us.  Thanks, Edie.

  • http://www.bigb94.wordpress.com Brandon

    Great insight! Thanks for sharing!

    • http://www.kellycombs.com/ Kelly Combs

      Thanks!

  • http://twitter.com/asparagusguy Neal Ely

    I like your first point, “If it stinks, change it.”  I have a personal goal in place right now, and it involves making some life changes. It is up to us, and nobody else, to make these changes in our lives. Thanks for the post!

    • http://www.kellycombs.com/ Kelly Combs

      Thank you Neal! Good luck and God bless as you make these life changes. It isn’t always easy.

  • Stephanie

    It’s important to find a daily balance between the demands of the home (kids, home upkeep, errands, etc) and the need for personal growth as an idividual. All the points Kelly makes are enhanced when we take the time to grow ourselves as well rather than being consumed wholly by the demands of raising a family at home. Stephanie Haynes, Director of Peace of Mind Ministries.

    • http://www.kellycombs.com/ Kelly Combs

      True, Stephanie. This brings me back to the comment I made early about the airplane. You have to put on your own oxygen mask before you can help others with their’s. If we don’t take care of ourselves, we cannot take care of others, whether that be physically, spiritually or emotionally. 
      Thank you Stephanie.

  • http://www.MicheleCushatt.com/ Michele Cushatt

    Thanks for sharing your wisdom with us, Kelly. I especially liked #3, the importance of sharing. Good leaders know how to share their wisdom (mentoring), their workload (delegation), as well as the credit (affirmation). A secure leader — at home or the office — doesn’t hesitate to share the credit for a particular success. A individual’s victory then becomes a celebration for the whole team. Thanks for the fabulous reminder!

    • http://www.kellycombs.com/ Kelly Combs

      I love the way you expanded on the idea of sharing, Michele. I was focusing on sharing wisdom, but delegation and affirmation are great examples are sharing as well.  Thanks for “sharing” my idea and expounding upon it.

    • http://www.tnealtarver.wordpress.com TNeal

      I agree with Kelly. Good expansion on her initial thoughts. You bring additional clarity and specificity to her original point.

      • http://www.MicheleCushatt.com/ Michele Cushatt

        Thanks, TNeal!

  • http://www.setongod.com/ Joshua OneNine

    Great post Kelly! My parents would agree with you on the idea of changing your attitude and moving on. They would make us go to our rooms and come out with a new shirt because changing your attitude is as easy as changing your shirt. 

    “You can’t always change your situation, but you can always change your attitude.”
        -Larry Hargraves

    • http://www.kellycombs.com/ Kelly Combs

      I love that idea Joshua! Sounds like your parents had the right idea. And I just might use the shirt idea.  Although as a mom, I can’t help but wonder if that wouldn’t increase the length of my “meetings” in the laundry room!

      • http://www.setongod.com/ Joshua OneNine

        Haha, that may be true!

    • http://www.tnealtarver.wordpress.com TNeal

      That’s an interesting analogy. Did it work?

      • http://www.setongod.com/ Joshua OneNine

        It most definitely did work.

  • http://www.struggletovictory.com/ Kari Scare

    Delegation is one of the biggest leadership skills I’ve learned at home. My boys (13 and 11) do their own laundry, clean their rooms regularly, are resposible for getting their homework done, must take out the trash and empty the dishwasher, and they have to clean their bathroom too. I know, they are normal chores, but I am surprised at home many kids don’t have to do them. The one I get the most surprised looks from is the laundry. Anyway, delegating allows me more time for what I need to get done, and it takes the pressure off of me as a leader to accomplish all I want… it allows me to focus on fewer things and to be better at those things.

    • http://www.kellycombs.com/ Kelly Combs

      I know what you mean, Kari. It seems that many parents delegate the leadership, instead of responsibility, to their children. In other words, they let the kids decide what they will or won’t do in the home. 

      My husband says it’s easier to be a bad parent than a good one. It’s true! Enforcing rules and delegating chores are hard work, but the outcome is raising responsible, mature leaders.  The future, is indeed, in our hands.

      • http://www.struggletovictory.com/ Kari Scare

        Your husband is right, it is easier to be a bad parent than a good one. It takes a dilberate and intentional determination every day to be a good parent, and even then I fail at it all to often. But, my kids know that whether or not they do what I ask isn’t really an option. Well, I guess it is if they don’t want any spending money, don’t want to go anywhere with their friends, and like spending most of their time in their rooms alone.

      • Jim Martin

        Kelly, good point regarding good/bad parenting.  It really is easier to just close your eyes (as a parent) and pretend you don’t see what is going on in your children’s lives.  In fact, sometimes it is tempting to do what is easier for you as a parent than what is best for our children.  

        A friend of mine said it like this, “You can pay now or pay later.”  As a parent, you can do the hard work now or you can close your eyes and ignore it.  However, you may find that what you are dealing with a few years later is even more difficult and complicated.

    • http://www.tnealtarver.wordpress.com TNeal

      I live in the dairy state and have seen the general maturity of farm kids. They are used to doing “chores.” Challenges and chores bolster kids’ confidence. Kari, you’re definitely giving your sons a gift they’ll appreciate later, if not now.

  • http://twitter.com/DieraShaw Diera Shaw-Mendez

    I’ve learned never to write a check with my mouth that my life can’t cash.  (courtesy of my Pastor).  You spoke of teaching your daughter about integrity, and that can be seen in so many thing we do.  Do we keep our word?  Do we communicate directly and are willing to stand by what we say?  Or are we willing to apologize when we are wrong.  Leadership is not about knowing everything or always having the right answer; leadership is about being resourceful, inspirational, and being willing to make the call.

    • http://www.kellycombs.com/ Kelly Combs

      Well said, Diera. Actions speak louder than words.

    • Jim Martin

      Diera, I like your first sentence.  So true.  We say so much by our actions in the ordinary moments of life at home and work.  

  • Tabreena17

    The establishment of a good work ethic begins in the home. Teaching my kids to be responsible and considerate doesn’t just happen; I have to live it. Teaching them the “why” is critical for my son especially because there has to be meaning behind the method. I am preparing my children not only for their future employers but also for their mate! That really puts things into perspective for me!

    • http://www.kellycombs.com/ Kelly Combs

      In short, you are preparing them for THEIR FUTURE!  Their entire life, not just employer or mate. It can be a scary realization, at least for me. That is why (in addition to partnering with my spouse,) I partner with God, because HE fills in my gaps.  

      • http://www.tnealtarver.wordpress.com TNeal

        And this is why I read the comments. The pearls of wisdom shared. I love the statement, “I partner with God, because HE fills in my gaps.”

  • Anonymous

    Awesome post,

    I am trying to use my leadership skills to launch a new tech blog.  This will definatly help me with my blog.http://tech4thewin.wordpress.com/

    • http://www.kellycombs.com/ Kelly Combs

      Good luck on new blog!

  • http://www.nginaotiende.blogspot.com Ngina Otiende

    Wow, love your insights Kelly. 

    I especially like # 1 –  “Mistakes are okay, hiding them is not.” 

    Personally I have learnt the power of “clarity” - Knowing, understanding and accepting my role  in the home. It has helped me know what comes first. 

    Good leaders have clarity of vision and thus prioritize well. When i know what is expected of me (and take responsibility for it), I become more fruitful.

    Thank you for sharing

    • http://www.kellycombs.com/ Kelly Combs

      Thank you Ngina! Clarity is a great word! Seeing things clearly, having a vision, all important both at home and at work. Thank you for sharing a great leadership principal with us. 

    • http://www.tnealtarver.wordpress.com TNeal

      “If it stinks, change it.” I think Kelly had a memorable start, one that any parent can see the wisdom of. Excellent tie into a leader’s decisions.

      • http://www.nginaotiende.blogspot.com Ngina Otiende

        I agree, awesome insights.

    • Jim Martin

      Ngina, I like #1 as well.  So often, we are only kidding ourselves when we try to hide our mistakes.  I saw this early on as a parent.  My children could see my mistakes.  Far better to own up to them than try to pretend they didn’t happen.

      • http://www.nginaotiende.blogspot.com Ngina Otiende

        Exactly :). 

        It’s always easier to own up first…than try and apologize when “found-out” (even when our apology is genuine). 

        It shows maturity and always builds trust. 

  • Misty

    Excellent post!  Love it so much.

    • http://www.kellycombs.com/ Kelly Combs

      Thank you Misty!

  • http://www.tnealtarver.wordpress.com TNeal

    Kelly, I enjoy your wit and wisdom. I’m glad you guest posted here. Well done and God bless.–Tom

    • http://www.kellycombs.com/ Kelly Combs

      Thank you Tom! And thanks for visiting my blog.  God bless you.

  • Mahipp

    Learn to pick your battles.  

    • http://www.kellycombs.com/ Kelly Combs

      Great leadership lesson. Thanks!

    • Jim Martin

      Great point!  That is certainly true at home and true on many other fronts as well.  

  • http://talesofwork.com kimanzi constable

    More than anything I’ve learned patience. Dealing with three hyper kids teaches you patience. I’m grateful because as a leader you really need patience in many different situations! Great post Kelly, very nice looking blog!

    • http://www.kellycombs.com/ Kelly Combs

      Patience is a great leadership skill, yet to be mentioned here I think. And wow, do you ever need patience as a parent! Thanks for sharing this important skill.
      And thanks for visiting my blog!

      • http://talesofwork.com kimanzi constable

        I will be visitng often, this is why guest posting is such a great idea. It opens the world up to amazing people and blogs, everyone wins!

  • http://dianneguthmuller.com/ Dianne Guthmuller

    I’m a local chapter coordinator of a new, national, non-denominational women’s ministry called LeadHer.  Our mission is to train, equip, and encourage women to be the leaders God called us to be.  Motherhood is the greatest leadership role we will ever have.  I’m sharing this post with my LeadHers this morning!

    Thanks for the encouragement.

    If anyone is interested in knowing more about LeadHer, checkout our website at LeadHer.org.

    Blessings!
    Dianne

    • http://www.kellycombs.com/ Kelly Combs

      Dianne, thank you so much for sharing this post with the women in your ministry.  I agree with you that motherhood is the greatest of leadership roles.  I look forward to visiting your organization’s website.

  • http://twitter.com/bjornjb Bjorn J

    This is soo good.  Thank you for simplicity, and over all sincerity.  I can’t wait to share this with my wife, mother and others from church.

    Thanks Kelly.

    • http://www.kellycombs.com/ Kelly Combs

      Thank you. I appreciate you sharing it. My post is simple, and it is definitely from the heart. Be blessed.

  • http://www.DrAngelaBisignano.com/ Angela Bisignano

    Great post Kelly! I loved your insight and sense of humor. As a mom who just launched her firstborn son, I agree, leadership begins in the home.

    • http://www.kellycombs.com/ Kelly Combs

      Thanks Angela! I enjoyed connecting with you on Twitter as well.  Congratulations on your firstborn son!  Enjoy your new “leadership position!”

    • Jim Martin

      Congratulations on your first child, Angela.  It seems like when we have children, we experience a whole new level of learning and leadership.

    • Rachel Lance

      Launched – I love it! I’m right there with you, just a year into motherhood. I read tons leading up to our launch but I never found in any of the books how transformative this new season would be to me personally. A friend worded it something like “growing a whole new layer of myself”. Definitely taking learning, leadership & life to new levels!

  • Anonymous

    Thank you Kelly.

    One matter we had to settle early on in raising our kids was to let our them know that we as parents were not the final authority, but that God’s word was. When our children began to see that our instruction wasn’t “do as I say because I say so” but rather, we all must “do because God’s word says so” then they became more accepting of and responsive to our parental authority.

     The free book “How Do You Know The Bible Is From God” is an excellent tool to help impress upon children that the Bible is God’s inspired and authoratative word. Available for free download here: http://searchandtrace.wordpress.com/2012/01/21/how-do-you-know-the-bible-is-from-god/ 

    • http://www.kellycombs.com/ Kelly Combs

      That reminds me of a discussion my sister had with her son when he was young. She was talking to him about obedience, and said “just like you obey your coach at T-ball, you obey me at home. At home, I am your coach.”  He replied, “God is my coach.”  How do you argue with that? 
       She gently said, “Well, I am the assistant coach!”

  • http://markwriteswords.blogspot.com Mark Jordan Murray

    Fellow commenters and shameless pluggers: If you go to my site, MarkWritesWords.com, and comment on any blog, then I will go to your blog and do the same!

    Let’s start a community of aspiring Michael Hyatt’s and encourage one another.

    What do you think? Ready, Set, Go to MarkWritesWords.com and comment!

  • http://www.struggletovictory.com/ Kari Scare

    You know, I need to hear that. I have a friend who is struggling with her 18-year-old son, and my youngest son has some of her son’s same tendancies. I am really looking at how I can prevent the disrespect she is experiencing and that is causing her to not even want to be around him. I feel like giving my kids responsibilities and letting them experience life is part of preventing that somehow. Just heavy on my heart and mind today.

    • http://www.kellycombs.com/ Kelly Combs

      I pray that God will give you, and all of mothers, wisdom in parenting our children. Being a leader is not an easy task. God bless.

      • http://www.struggletovictory.com/ Kari Scare

        Thank you! I pray for wisdome in being a leader mom daily. Can’t do it effectively without Him!

    • Jim Martin

      Kari, I suspect that all of us who have had children go through these stages can sympathize with what concerns you regarding your friend’s son and your son.  There are moments in rearing children that really are sobering.

      • http://www.struggletovictory.com/ Kari Scare

        Sobering is a good way to put it. Such a huge responsibility. For me, imagining what a habit or action or attitude will look like in them as adults helps motivate me to teach and guide and mold even in the very smallest of details. I think preventative maintenance is an effective parenting technique at least to some extent.

  • RPhillips

    One of the things that hit me recently listening to a service at my church, was how we speak over our children. This can be applied to how we speak over ourselves, our friends, our co-workers, etc. Whenever someone starts to speak negative, stop then in their tracks. Do not let negativity be placed over you or your family.

    • http://www.kellycombs.com/ Kelly Combs

      Often our actions follow our thoughts and words. Michael Hyatt has taught that on this blog often. If we expect to fail, or only “try,” we often don’t achieve.  That is a great leadership lesson we can teach our kids.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Mary-Tomillon/100001631903207 Mary Tomillon

    I loved this. Although I really struggle with #4,  #6 reminds me how important #4 is.  Raising new/tomorrow’s leaders is a huge responsibility. It cannot be achieved with positive results if we are trying to be everyone’s friend.

    • http://www.kellycombs.com/ Kelly Combs

      It’s true.  Real leaders make the tough decisions that are not always popular. It’s not our job to be the friend of our children or  employees. It is our job to mentor them for tomorrow.

  • http://www.ChristianStressManagement.com/ Miriam

    Just like content is king in the blogging world, effective communication is king in the company and home and this is both verbal and non-verbal.  PS thanks for content which makes this a kingly blog.

    • Rachel Lance

      You’re so right, Miriam. Communication is key all the way around. Thanks for the comment!

    • http://www.kellycombs.com/ Kelly Combs

      Absolutely. Thanks.

  • Dale Aceron

    Awesome Insights Kelly!

    I too am learning the lesson of “If it stinks, change it.”
    One of my areas for growth in leadership is being able to first admit to mysef that it stinks, then to the team, and then to change it.

    I often think that just because I poured my time end energy into it, it’s gotta be good.

    Thanks for the post!

    • http://www.kellycombs.com/ Kelly Combs

      Thank you Dale. I know your team appreciates a leader who is willing to grow! It’s never fun to admit mistakes, but if we learn by them than it is worth it.

  • Dale Aceron

    Great Insights Kelly!

    I too am learning the lesson of “If it stinks, change it.”
    What I struggle with is to first recognize and admit to myself that it stinks, then to the team, and then trying to come up with solutions on how to change and solve it.

    Thanks for the post!

  • http://uma-maheswaran.blogspot.com/ Uma Maheswaran S

    Good manners begins from the home. many children develop their mannerism and attitude from their home. The same will hold true for an organization.

    “Action speaks louder than words” — Each parent must remember this principle when they grow their kids. This is also true for any leader in the organiztion.

    • Rachel Lance

      You’re right, Uma, character is handed down. Sometimes the degree to which an organization’s character reflects that of its CEO strikes me as uncanny. I’m not sure why I’m struck, it makes perfect sense. 

    • http://www.kellycombs.com/ Kelly Combs

      Absolutely, everyone around us watching. We have to model the behavior we want to see emulated around us.

  • http://twitter.com/JessBlogSchmog Jessie Gunderson

    What a fun and insightful post. I enjoyed this and am sharing with all my mom and CEO friends alike.

    • http://www.kellycombs.com/ Kelly Combs

      Thank you Jesse.  I had fun writing it too. I hope your friends enjoy it as much as you did.

  • Bob Tiede

    Whenever I visit with a Christian Mom I share with her that we both have the same Mission Statement:  “Developing the Next Generation of Christian Leaders!”

    • http://www.kellycombs.com/ Kelly Combs

      I love that Bob! Thank you for sharing it. 
      (I may even use it…imitation is the most sincere form of flattery.) 

  • Daniel McNally

    I’m a father that helped to raise 6 kids, took care of the kid’s home schooling much of the time, etc. but I just want to say I loved this article and I loved how Kelly acknowledges the fact that she is also a leader and a trainer. Our mothers and even fathers who carry the home duties’ role should really be encouraged by this one… being a parent is your best human resources management course… among other necessary skills….Go Mom! 

    • http://www.kellycombs.com/ Kelly Combs

      Thank you Daniel. Sounds like you understand my thoughts exactly, especially after parenting 6 kids.  Go mom…and dad!

  • http://www.springmemarketing.com/ asenath

    This is a fabulous article! I especially love the part where it says its ok to be mean- cute story and I have hear similar with my 7 year old. I also love the know how to follow too. It seems like people have an overwhelming sense that to be a leader means to be in charge.
    Thanks!

    • http://www.kellycombs.com/ Kelly Combs

      Never dull with a 7 yr old, is it?  Thank you for your comments!

  • Pastor Pam

    I have learned it is ok to say “not right now” recognizing there are seasons to do things and it might be the right thing to do but the wrong season to do it in.  I’ve also learned making mistakes is ok as long as you make them only once.  Learn from them and grow.

    • http://theordainedbarista.com Barry Hill

      Pam,
      You have a better learning curve than I do! :)

    • http://www.kellycombs.com/ Kelly Combs

      I so agree about the right thing but the wrong season. God’s timing isn’t always our timing. Keep growing, Pam!

  • http://twitter.com/BrandieLagarde Brandie Lagarde

    Wonderful post! Every morning I try to remember that all day I have six sets of eyes watching and listening to every single thing I say and do, even my body language. I am raising and homeschooling six future leaders and only with God’s amazing grace do I proceed.

    • http://www.MicheleCushatt.com/ Michele Cushatt

      Yep, only by grace. Thanks for impacting the future for ALL of us, Brandie.

    • http://www.kellycombs.com/ Kelly Combs

      His grace IS amazing – so keep up the good work. I love your attitude.

  • Quetita212

    Train your kids well and their are going to have less problems and more good nights. 

    • http://www.kellycombs.com/ Kelly Combs

      And we as parents will too!

  • Harrisonshauna

    Ive learned diplomacy is of uttermost importance …in the weirdest of times. That being said my brood of 7 realize that I don’t run a democracy. I run a Theo-Monarchy. lol….

    • http://www.kellycombs.com/ Kelly Combs

      Monarchy-ing is good mommy-ing.  Eventually it will turn into a democracy, and then they will grow up, well served by your leadership.

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  • Cherylaldridge2010

    This is a very good article by Kelly Combs. Wisdom comes when we choose to learn from seemingly insignificant situations. She has mastered the selfless art of taking
    Mundane tasks and turning them into object lessons. All
    Of life is really our classroom, if we choose to learn from it.

  • Rwooten73

    The leadership skill I have learned at home is “servanthood”.  When I was single and even in the early stages of marriage it was all about me and what was convenient for me.  Nothing like parenting and marriage to teach me how to “consider others above myself.”

    • http://TillerFamily.org/ John Tiller

      Congratulations on recognizing something that many others don’t (which almost always ends up in failed relationships)!!

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  • Rebecca

    Well the reason why I was asking you did you remember my case because, I have already seen results. He called me on Jan 4th to wish me a happy birthday, and I called him on the 6th to wish him a happy birthday. We had a nice long conversation, and I expressed to him how he made me feel. He apologized over and over. Then after that conversation I didn’t hear from him until around the 8th of Feb. I started calling my phone, and I kept missing his calls because my phone was on silent. Well that third day of him not getting a response from me, he sent me a heartfelt email apologizing again, and saying how much he missed me and wanted to hold me in his arms. At the end of the email he stated that he loved me, in which he has never said those words to me. I still love him also, but its hard now to be with him because I will be moving 5 states away and I don’t want to start something back up with him, knowing we can’t be together. So I just want to thank you High – Dr madurai of maduraitemple@yahoo.com

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