Leadership Starts at Home

Communication is a great one, Patricia.  As leaders we must be able to communicate our expectations, whether at home or the office.  Unmet expectations are a huge point of conflict, so if we can accurately communicate now, it stops future misunderstandings.

That is great and would be very important in a house with 7 children! My first son is only 16 months old but we are already teaching consequences, both good and bad. My desire is to see this boy grow up to be a man of integrity. 

Absolutely! 

That’s the quote that sold it to me!

Agreed! Applicable in a variety of settings. Excellent, Kelly!

Training up new leaders is so important.  Thanks!

I love the idea of an annual meeting with your spouse to discuss the “state of the family and finances.”  A great example of leadership at home that certainly works  for business leaders. Thanks for sharing.

This is a lesson I have learned with my wife! I now greatly value her suggestions. I may not always do what she suggests but I certainly evaluate it a lot because she is right so much of the time! … Don’t tell her I said that.

That’s been a repeating theme for me this week. As a whole, I think we’ve lost what it means to “deny yourself.” (Luke 9:23) I keep ruminating over how I can teach my children how to live and lead a life of sacrifice.

That was one of the hardest decisions he had to make, and very humbling too, Burl.  Leadership is hard, everyday.  But my husband is a great leader.

Thanks for your comment!

And if it stinks, you hear the cry whether from your employees or the baby!  Sometimes it’s hard to let go of our ideas, even when they stink. But it’s a sign of a good leader for sure.

Being a dad is amazing! Congratulations! I have learned so much these last 16 months that I can apply to more than just my home life.

Sometimes my son feels I am being mean when I sit him in timeout. His grandmother also feels I am being mean.  Boundaries are important and will help him grow to be a great leader. 

Wow, that is great. You must be really proud of her. And of your own good parenting! Kudos.

I love it when God works that way. Thank you for reading, Charles.

Thank you! It’s ironic because as a stay-home mom I can feel like I’m not “doing” anything…but then I realize I am raising a PERSON!  This is important work. Parents are leaders, and our jobs are critically important.

Thank you, Jeremy. Parenthood, the toughest job you’ll ever love…times four!  Kudos.

As a mom, you know when it’s quiet in the next room is exactly when you need to see what those kids are doing! Supersonic ears are critical to parents, and leaders.   (Not to mention having eyes in the back of your head!) 

Listening and paying attention are critical attributes for a leader. Thank you, John.

Thank you Lisa!

Wow – thanks! Rewriting it to a post-it note is higher praise than a retweet!  (Seriously!) That means application on your part, and isn’t that the goal of every writer and leader (and mom!), to have what they said not only heard, but applied.

Thank you Jason. That made my day. 

I love the Biblical truth you found in your real life experience.  

I, of course, am a Michael Hyatt blog fan! The thing I love is how his posts are relevant whether you are a CEO or a mom, and that is exactly what I hope my own post here conveys. Whether we realize it or not, we are all leaders…the question is, are we good leaders?

Thank you Melanie.  Certainly no one wants to be the bad guy. Biblically, a parent disciplines the child they love, and no discipline is pleasant at the time. Likewise, good leaders sometimes makes hard decisions  that are painful, but hopefully will produce good results.

So true, Douglas.  When my daughter was adopting a “tone” with her dad when she was annoyed, I (embarrassingly) realized it was the same tone I used when I was annoyed.   

Leadership by example is a great skill that starts at home.

Having a son (and another on the way) has caused me to take many looks at myself. I want to be the kind of man they can look up to. I want them to be able to copy what I say and do and not just do what I tell them.

Edwin,
By “seagul management” I thought you were going to say management that only drops in when I have an open bag of potato chips.

Seriously though, I love your point about the differing levels of maturity and understanding. I have 6 children and each of them are very different children.

Lorraine,
That is too funny. I never heard that one before. Can you put overdue laundry in the oven?

On a plane, the stewardess always instructs to put your own oxygen mask on first, THEN help those around you.  You can’t help others if you aren’t taking care of yourself.  Such an important lesson.  It’s a balance to be giving, without losing yourself.  Thanks for sharing, Paul.

I think about my son growing up all the time and it is a crazy thought. I do want to see him grow and mature and that makes me take looks at myself.

I’ve come to realize that being called mean by your kids is practically a compliment. It means you must be doing something right!  So keep doing it Barry. 

I have no doubt your wife is amazing. Just be sure she gets a “time out,” now and then. With six kids, she no doubt needs it! 

Cheryl, we are raising PEOPLE! A critically important task, even on the most mundane days. Keep up the good work.

Cheri, I like the definition of love that you quoted in your last paragraph.  So true.  As a parent, I found that sometimes what made a situation difficult was not deciding what was best for my child but rather dealing with my own feelings.  I learned that sometimes doing what was in the best interest of my child did not necessarily feel good.  Thanks!

“…I don’t even know who I am any more!” Hahaha. Love the drama. I’ve heard similar sentiments more times than I can count!

For too long I made the mistake of trying to protect my kids from every harm. They went through loss early on in their lives, and I wanted to make it up to them.  AS IF. Even my prayers were all about God “protecting” them. Not a bad prayer, but is it really what I want for them?

I no longer believe a problem-free life is what’s best. Instead, I want them to be men of integrity and character who know how to weather the worst of life, learn from their mistakes, and press on with a firm grip on their Father. They can only learn this if I get out of the way.

Great point Cheryl.  We often prayed for our children because we knew we ought to as parents who were looking ahead.  Very often, however, we prayed for them out of desperation and dependency.  Glad you mentioned this.

That is a great addition!

As a stay-home mom sometimes I can feel irrelevant. Realizing that I am a leader at home, and that I am raising future leaders gives me goals and focus, and encourages me in the mundane day-to-day stuff. I hope this will encourage your wife as well!

coachbyron, I appreciate the way you’ve stressed the importance of being willing to make unpopular decisions and take unpopular actions.  Sometimes the kindest thing that can be done is to do the right thing.  A person can be “nice” and delay right action and ultimately hurt a lot of people.

When people would come over we would always warn them about putting cups or plates on the coffee tables. Even though Noah could barely walk he could move much faster than they expected. It was funny to watch. I agree, our children can often exceed our expectations.

Thank you Jim! I appreciated connecting on FB with you, and wish you much success in your community leader position here on Michael’s blog.

I can only imagine your girls responses to your family’s saying. If they’re like my daughters, they’d say something like “Ewww, Dad! Gross!” But you are teaching great life lessons to them. Even if the visual is a bit disturbing. *smile* Have a great day Michael!

I also really liked the “leaders must share” point.

Thank you Elizabeth. Honestly, when my daughter said that I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry, so I deferred this one to my husband.  Good leaders know when they are too emotionally attached to the situation!

I appreciate your conclusions on both your husband’s company’s policies, and on my husband’s company as well.  It is hard when leadership decisions affect our bottom line, but hopefully we are working for leaders whose decisions we can trust.

Thank you Julie! I think “mean mom” is a badge of honor that says we are doing something right. But it sometimes stings at the time.

We also rejected video games and I have two who love reading.  As Michael Hyatt says, “Readers lead, and leaders read!”

Unmet expectations is a leading cause of conflict, communication is key! 
Thanks for encouragement. 

I am enjoying reading everyone’s leadership from home skills, and your two are great! Both are critical to good leadership. 

It’s hard to be relevant when you aren’t learning new skills. (Reminds me of a former president talking about using “the google.”)Thank you for the congratulations! I am very excited and thankful to have the opportunity to guest post.

Wow, “gold medal worthy.”  Thank you Cynthia!  From one mom to another, that means a lot. 

Listening is such an important skill. Even when children are so small they realize when you aren’t listening well, and will even move your face to theirs with their hands.  Listening in leadership is critically important. Why have a support team, if you don’t listen?

Thanks for commenting!

What great observations to consider as I start out in motherhood. Thanks for sharing your insights!

Thanks Sundi Jo! I’m sure you’ve heard the phrase, “Behind every great man, there is a great woman.”  Who knew they meant his mom?  *smile*