The platform of a leader is often visible, broad and elevated. So when a leader falls from this place, it can be a hard fall, indeed.

I know of this experience, firsthand, as my pastor-father fell hard and fast from his visible place of mega-church leadership in the early 1990s. While the eyes of the world watched pastor scandals of famed leaders on TV, I watched one of my own unfold, inside our family home.

Many words in the English language are difficult. In fact, there’s even a Dictionary of Difficult Words. But none are more difficult than these: “I’m sorry. I was wrong. Will you please forgive me?”

Many otherwise articulate people seem to have great difficulty in spitting these words out. They hem and haw. They stutter. They may get something close out, but they have a hard time slowly and deliberately saying these ten simple words.

A while ago, I wrote on Why Leader’s Can’t Afford to Be Easily Offended. It is true for leaders. It is true for creatives. It is really true for everyone.

Several weeks ago, I had the great privilege of speaking to more than 8,000 students at Liberty University on this topic. Fortunately, they recorded it and gave me permission to post it. Since many of my readers have requested video content, I thought I would post it here.

Recently, I wrote about how leaders must learn to handle criticism and overlook offenses. I think this is the number one way that leaders can get derailed and rendered ineffective.

A few days ago, I ran into a story in reading the Desert Fathers, that illustrated the point beautifully:

As a leader, you are going to draw fire. People will criticize you. Some will second-guess your decisions. Others will impute motives that aren’t there. A few will falsely accuse you.

For example, just a few weeks ago, someone wrote a blog post, publicly calling me a hypocrite. I won’t lie: it stung. I was tempted to respond in kind. Thankfully, I didn’t.

Several days ago, my wife, Gail, forwarded to me a Franciscan benediction that she had received from a friend. I thought it was so good, I just had to share it.

Warning: this is completely counter-cultural to the feel-good, prosperity spirituality that is so popular today.

Being a leader is often brutal. The demands are relentless. Much of the time you are trying to navigate without a map. Yet your organization—your people—are counting on you to figure it out and get safely through to the other side.

In his bestselling book, The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, author Stephen Covey talks about the space that exists between the stimulus and the response. In that space is the power to choose.

Over the course of my career, I have fired off my share of angry letters and e-mail. However, I cannot think of a single time when these communiques had a positive effect. Usually, they only served to escalate the conflict and alienate the recipient.

Several years ago, I wrote a fourteen-page diatribe to a business associate. I skewered him. I was right. He was wrong. And I had the proof.