Recently, I made an early morning phone call to one of my direct reports to own a blunder on my part. Not a great way to start the day. If you’ve ever blown it as a leader you know that these conversations are never fun. It’s humbling.

Great leaders hold those they lead accountable. But those we lead must see us as holding ourselves accountable as well. If we expect them to “own it” when they make mistakes, we need to first model this for them.

A few weeks ago, I had the privilege of interviewing my dear friend and neighbor, Ian Cron, about his new book Jesus, My Father, The CIA, and Me: A Memoir. . . of Sorts (Thomas Nelson). He is one of the best writers I know. I savored every word in the book.

Ian’s new book is about “the unfinished business of grace.” He had a very troubled relationship with his extremely talented but very disturbed father, who was an alcoholic and CIA operative. The book is beautifully written—poignant, sad, and funny. It touched me deeply.

Many words in the English language are difficult. In fact, there’s even a Dictionary of Difficult Words. But none are more difficult than these: “I’m sorry. I was wrong. Will you please forgive me?”

Many otherwise articulate people seem to have great difficulty in spitting these words out. They hem and haw. They stutter. They may get something close out, but they have a hard time slowly and deliberately saying these ten simple words.

In recent years, I have noticed an increasing tendency for people to admit to mistakes rather than sins. It happens at every level, whether someone is caught cheating on their spouse, filing false insurance claims, or shoplifting from a clothing store.

After the National Enquirer broke the news about Senator John Edwards’ affair, he said,

“Two years ago I made a very serious mistake, a mistake that I am responsible for and no one else. In 2006, I told Elizabeth about the mistake, asked her for her forgiveness, asked God for his forgiveness. And we have kept this within our family since that time.”

A while ago, I wrote on Why Leader’s Can’t Afford to Be Easily Offended. It is true for leaders. It is true for creatives. It is really true for everyone.

Several weeks ago, I had the great privilege of speaking to more than 8,000 students at Liberty University on this topic. Fortunately, they recorded it and gave me permission to post it. Since many of my readers have requested video content, I thought I would post it here.

Recently, I wrote about how leaders must learn to handle criticism and overlook offenses. I think this is the number one way that leaders can get derailed and rendered ineffective.

A few days ago, I ran into a story in reading the Desert Fathers, that illustrated the point beautifully:

The principle of forgiveness has been ingrained in our spiritual life, but as an everyday tool, it seems to have been discarded by leaders as a sign of weakness.

Several years have now gone by since the publication of The Traveler’s Gift. Because of the seven principles revealed in that story, I have increasingly found myself in quiet corners, talking intimately with some of society’s best-known leaders. Yet when they draw me aside, I do not pretend to have the answers some of them seek. (I am woefully ignorant about the details of business and politics!)

Last Friday, I watched the Tiger Woods press conference in amazement. I was stunned at his candor. He didn’t sugar-coat his sin. Instead, he repeatedly acknowledged the magnitude of his wrongdoing and the scope of its impact.

Over the course of my career, I have fired off my share of angry letters and e-mail. However, I cannot think of a single time when these communiques had a positive effect. Usually, they only served to escalate the conflict and alienate the recipient.

Several years ago, I wrote a fourteen-page diatribe to a business associate. I skewered him. I was right. He was wrong. And I had the proof.

All of us blow it from time to time. But some mistakes are worse than others. Some are so grievous that they threaten to undo a career. Such was the case this week when Don Imus insulted the Rutgers women’s basketball team by using a degrading racial slur to describe them.

It’s hard to imagine the situation getting worse, but it did. Imus added insult to injury by completely botching his apology yesterday on Al Sharpton’s radio show. If there’s anything redemptive in this situation—and I admit there’s not much—it’s the fact that this situation can serve as a vivid example of how not to execute an apology.