I’m a pretty good coach, but I would make a terrible counselor. Whenever I am put in that situation, I get agitated. Why? Because the solution to the person’s problem seems obvious. It’s all I can do to retrain myself from blurting it out.

Recently, my friend and former coach Ilene Muething shared with me this really funny Mad TV skit with Bob Newhart. In it, he plays the role of Dr. Switzer, a psychologist with a simple theory of human behavior. The clip is only six minutes long but worth every second. It’s hilarious.

Last year was crazy. In six months, I received a publishing contract, started speaking for live audiences, and launched a writing career—all without having to quit my day job. How did it happen? I built a platform. But what does that mean?

If you want to find and lead your “tribe,” you are going to have to be intentional about the process. The first place to start is with building relationships. I’ve cultivated three important habits that have helped me do this.

“I don’t have time to read.”

When I tell people about my blog, that’s one of the comments I usually hear in response. The implication—or at least the way my possibly oversensitive mind takes it—“You must not have any life to read that many books … loser.”

Of course, I exaggerate. But, really, it’s a tension a lot of people in our overworked and overstressed society deal with. They understand that reading is important—after all, their second grade teacher made that clear. But nobody has the time to read a Dr. Seuss book, much less To Kill A Mockingbird or (gasp!) Infinite Jest.

I have worked with authors for more than three decades. I have also worked with speakers, recording artists, and other creatives. I have had the privilege of working with the best—and the challenge of enduring the worst. Ninety percent fall somewhere in the middle.

What separates them is not talent. Surely, this plays a role. But it doesn’t fully explain why some creatives with marginal talent become successful and others with extraordinary talent never really make it. (I could name names, but I would get myself in trouble on both counts!)

Do you have a bad habit you’d like to overcome? If so, you are not alone. Millions of people want to quit smoking, stop eating junk food, or give up their sedentary lifestyle.

But attacking the problem head-on may not be the answer.

I have a confession to make. Until about eight years ago, I didn’t floss. In fact, I hadn’t been to the dentist in a decade. My last experience had been so negative, that I just kept finding excuses to procrastinate.