In this podcast episode, I talk the essence of authentic leadership. What is it? Is it simply influence or is it something more.

I have always been fascinated by this topic. Perhaps because I enjoy creating models that try to explain something people want to know about.

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You’ve heard it at conferences. You’ve read it in books. Everyone is a leader. Do you believe this? I don’t.

While everyone has the potential to be a leader, most never take up the mantle. They are content to let others take the risk and do the work.

As believers, we recognize the value of imitating Jesus and His leadership style. But if we really think about it, it’s strange that we try to emulate a leader who never developed an organization, regularly encouraged people to stop following Him, and ultimately saw His death as the pinnacle of His accomplishments.

What kind of perspective must a leader have to place high value on these kinds of strategies? Jesus was not a manager. His primary role was to function as a spiritual leader.

Last year was crazy. In six months, I received a publishing contract, started speaking for live audiences, and launched a writing career—all without having to quit my day job. How did it happen? I built a platform. But what does that mean?

If you want to find and lead your “tribe,” you are going to have to be intentional about the process. The first place to start is with building relationships. I’ve cultivated three important habits that have helped me do this.

A few weeks ago, I was called by a consultant who was prospecting for business. He was a friend of a friend, so I felt duty-bound to give him thirty minutes to tell me about his company and the services he provides. Sadly, it was a complete waste of time.

For starters, the guy talked non-stop. I probably didn’t say more than three sentences in the entire call. Worse, he made all kinds of assumptions about me and my business. Most of them were wrong.

It’s easy to underestimate the power of one person’s influence. We think, What can I do? I am only one person. Even when I was the CEO of a company I often felt this way.

The truth is that each of us wields far more power than we could possibly imagine. However, most of us have never discovered this—or we have forgotten it.

What does marriage have to do with leadership? If you are married, everything. Nothing will undermine your effectiveness as a leader faster than a bad marriage. Your marriage is a living example of what it is like to be in a close relationship with you. This is why it is so important that leaders get this right if they want to influence others.

Unfortunately, we live in a culture that is very me-centered. Gail and I often talk to people who are frustrated with their spouses. Most of this stems from the fact that they are not getting what they think they need or what they think they should be getting.

To be a true influencer in the lives of those you lead, you must understand a simple, but powerful question. It is one your followers are asking. It goes like this: “Are you for me, against me, or for yourself?”

It is a great question, one that is asked by those you and I lead at least once within the relationship. Once the question has been confirmed, it rarely comes up again. Our followers know our intent towards them or at least towards ourselves.

Many people have written on what it means to be a leader. Almost everyone identifies influence as the primary characteristic. By definition, this means that leadership and position are two different things. You can have a title, and a position of power, but this does not mean that you are a leader. Even people without these things can exert influence and thus leadership.

Twitter is a great tool for extending your influence. You can engage your “tribe” in real time, offering leadership and assistance in a way that would have been impossible just a couple of years ago.