Many words in the English language are difficult. In fact, there’s even a Dictionary of Difficult Words. But none are more difficult than these: “I’m sorry. I was wrong. Will you please forgive me?”
Many otherwise articulate people seem to have great difficulty in spitting these words out. They hem and haw. They stutter. They may get something close out, but they have a hard time slowly and deliberately saying these ten simple words.
Yesterday, I posted the first part of the interview with my friend, Anne Jackson, is a writer, speaker, and activist. In her newest book, Permission to Speak Freely, Anne chronicles her own story of growing up in church and being afraid to talk about certain “taboo” topics. She also shares some of the many “confessions” she received in response to the question she originally posed on her blog: “What is something you feel you can’t say in church or around other Christians?”
As I mentioned yesterday, the premise of Permission to Speak Freely is that you are not alone in your battle with secrets and brokenness.
My friend, Anne Jackson, is a writer, speaker, and activist. In her newest book, Permission to Speak Freely, Anne chronicles her own story of growing up in church and being afraid to talk about certain “taboo” topics. She also shares some of the many “confessions” she received in response to the question she originally posed on her blog: “What is something you feel you can’t say in church or around other Christians?”
The premise of Permission to Speak Freely is that you are not alone in your battle with secrets and brokenness.
I have always believed that you are more likely to accomplish big goals if you declare them publicly. My rationale has been that this creates the accountability you need to follow-through. But now I am not so sure.
Derek Sivers makes a compelling case against going public with your goals in his short talk at the 2010 Ted Conference. (The talk is only a little over three minutes long.) His basic premise is this: telling someone your goals makes them less likely to happen.
What goes wrong? In surveys and focus groups with thousands of executives, researchers at Indiana University’s Kelly School of Business identified some common reasons why new leaders can run off the rails. Some of the top derailers are:
I have spoken publicly about a dozen times in the last three weeks. Because this is more than usual, I have begun to notice a pattern in my own psychological state as I go through the speaking cycle.
It has been helpful to identify the components of this cycle, so I am not so surprised when they occur. So far, I have identified ten stages I go through in preparing to speak. (This assumes that I have never delivered this exact speech before.)
Delegation is critical to leadership. You can’t take on more responsibility unless you are willing to delegate to others. But that doesn’t mean it is always easy.
Recently, one of my mentees was planning a special event. Last week, he was surprised to discover that someone on his planning team had completed a project that he didn’t really authorize. He was clearly frustrated, because he felt the other person had taken more initiative that he was given.
After listening to him describe the situation, I finally said, “The fault is not with your team member’s action. The problem is that you didn’t make your expectations clear when you delegated this task.” I then asked him if he had ever heard of the five levels of delegation. He said, “no,” and then I shared them with him.
I’m a husband to one woman, father of five more, and grandfather to three more (little) women. We also have a number of women in strategic positions at Thomas Nelson, with whom I work on a regular basis. Suffice it to say, I spend a lot of time in the company of women.
Here’s something I’ve learned from all that experience: women are different. Earth-shattering, I know. But when it comes to motivating the women in your organization, it’s important to be mindful of that difference. What works for a man doesn’t always work for a woman.
Last spring, Jim Bradford, Dean of Owen Graduate School of Management at Vanderbilt University, interviewed me on my leadership philosophy and practice. He asked some tough questions. I tried to be as candid as I could be.
I intended to share the video here on my blog a few months ago, but it got lost in the shuffle. However, I thought about it today and thought you might enjoy seeing it.
Richard L. Daft is a professor at the Owen Graduate School of Management, Vanderbilt University, where he specializes in the study and teaching of leadership. I had the privilege of meeting Dick several years ago, when he invited me to speak to one of his classes on “Culture as a Leadership Tool.”
I currently speak a couple of times a year to his classes and it is always a treat. When he told me about his new book, The Executive and the Elephant: A Leader’s Guide to Building Inner Excellence, I knew it would be perfect for my readers.
I’ve never been to the Orange Conference, but I am excited to go this coming spring. I heard Reggie Joiner speak at the Catalyst Conference last year, and, frankly, that was enough. (He was awesome!) It is scheduled for April 27–29, 2011. Registration opens on October 5th.
The Orange Conference is committed to a simple premise that I believe whole-heartedly: the church and the family must work together to influence the next generation.
Photo courtesy of ©iStockphoto.com/abu
