At a recent conference I attended, I heard someone say that the higher leaders advance in an organization, the less truth they receive.

In the conversation that ensued, it was discussed how executives receive less feedback from their teams and organizations. This was attributed to positional authority, employee job security fears, and other organizational factors.

Gail and I have been married for thirty-three years. She is my lover, my best friend, and my coach. But a few days ago we had a fight. It was a doozy.

It’s not important what it was about. It was one of those issues we have stumbled over previously. But I will admit that it was my fault. I ambushed her and let it escalate beyond what the circumstances warranted.

More than twenty years ago, I had an experience with two very different leaders. Those experiences have dramatically shaped my own view of leadership. In the end, they represent two very different styles, leading to two very different results.

One evening in 1988, my business partner and I had dinner with one of the most prominent pastors in America. He’s not so well known now, but at the time he was at the top of his game.

If you are going to be an effective leader, you must be able to enter into your followers’ world. In fact, if you are going to influence anyone for anything—whether it is your boss, your employees, a client, your spouse, or even your kids—you are going to have to get really good at incarnational leadership.

This leadership principle is based on the Christian teaching that “the Word became flesh and dwelt among us” (John 1:14a). Imagine that: God entered into our world in order to bring us back to Himself.

Taking over a new leadership role can be a pretty exciting moment in any executive’s career. It can also be one of the most dangerous. Research conducted by the Center for Creative Leadership shows that up to 40 percent of newly promoted managers and executives are no longer in their roles within 18 months of a promotion.

What goes wrong? In surveys and focus groups with thousands of executives, researchers at Indiana University’s Kelly School of Business identified some common reasons why new leaders can run off the rails. Some of the top derailers are:

I’ve met a lot of leaders. Most of them average, some good. But two or three have changed my life forever.

In one of the comments regarding yesterday’s post, my friend, Ron Edmondson, said, “I would love to sit at your dinner table sometime. Great conversations!” As I read that, I thought, We do have great conversations around our dinner table! Then I realized that these don’t happen by accident.