The Four Disciplines of the Heart

Recently, I met with a leader who was in the process of losing heart. I have seen the look in his eyes a hundred times before. (I had seen it in my own mirror on more than one occasion.)

A Man Sitting on a Bench Reading His Bible - Photo courtesy of ©iStockphoto.com/irishblue, Image #4950788

Photo courtesy of ©iStockphoto.com/irishblue

My friend was under attack. He had just discovered that one of his board members was campaigning to unseat him. Worse, one of his children had just been diagnosed with a chronic disease. As a result of these issues, he was struggling with the typical symptoms of stress—insomnia, indigestion, and back pain.

He was ready to throw in the towel. And, who could blame him? Life is hard.

This is why leaders must understand the importance of their heart and why they must guard it. In times of adversity and temptation, a healthy heart is essential to survival.

How can leaders cultivate a healthy heart? I would suggest four disciplines:

  1. The Discipline of Reflection. We live in a busy and noisy world that will suck the life out of us if we let it. This is why it is essential that we intentionally pull away to a quiet place, pause, and reflect. If Jesus did this (see, for example, Mark 1:35), how much more important is it for us?

    I believe this is best done by reading the Bible and praying. I have also found it helpful to read other spiritual writings, especially those of the desert fathers. Anything outside of our own time gives us much-needed perspective, as C.S. Lewis notes in his Introduction to On the Incarnation by St. Athanasius.

  2. The Discipline of Rest. God has built rest into our very physiology. We are made to shut down for a third of the daily cycle. One of the quickest ways to lose perspective is to cheat ourselves out of this God-given “off switch.”

    But practicing the discipline of rest requires more than a biologically-induced pause. It requires deliberate choices: deciding to rest one day in seven and choosing to take our allotted vacations. I believe it even involves fasting—giving our bodies a break from the tyranny of our appetites.

  3. The Discipline of Recreation. There is a difference between amusement and recreation. The former leaves us more tired than we started. (Ever taken a trip to Disney World and come back more exhausted than you left?) Yet the latter refreshes us and grounds us.

    Recreation involves any activity that gives us the opportunity to express our creativity. For some, it might involve painting, writing, or playing a musical instrument. For others, it might even involve rebuilding an engine or baking a cake. These activities never seem urgent, but they are vitally important.

  4. The Discipline of Relationships. Arguably, this is the most important. You and I were made to live in relationship to others. In fact, the very foundation of reality is relational. Before the world was created, Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, lived together in perfect love and unity.

    But in a world of social media and faux connections, we must be intentional about building authentic relationships and real community. This means making time—quality time—for our family members and friends. It means taking the initiative to invest in those we love.

I realize that I have only scratched the surface. This topic is worthy of an entire book. My hope in writing this short post is simply to put your heart on your radar, so that you will nurture it and find it to be a resource in the challenging times ahead.

Question: Which of these disciplines is most important to you in nurturing your heart? You can leave a comment by clicking here.
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  • Avelina N

    Hi fellow Christians.  I have been a Christian for as long as I can
    remember and feel like I have had a lot thrown my way.  In the past I have asked pastors and fellow
    Christians and nobody really taught me why. 
    I thought if you were doing the things that I thought you were supposed
    to do, usually a list a ministry would give you, that everything would be
    wonderful!  But it wasn’t.  Then I came across
    href= “http:www.teachingfaith.com/”<www.teachingfaith.com.  I started to
    listen to the Spiritual Warfare series and was so happy I rejoiced in the
    Lord!  There was someone teaching on why
    Christians are attacked and how to get through it and this preacher used God’s
    Scripture alone, not some self-help book! 
    Also, explaining what we have to look forward to and what to keep
    focused on, NO LISTS!  If you feel like I
    felt check it out, your doubts will disappear!

  • Anonymous

    I’ve been trying to focus on the discipline of reflection lately.  

    You noted that this topic is worthy of a book.  When are you going to write it? :-)

  • http://darensirboughblog.wordpress.com Daren Sirbough

    Definitely the discipline of reflection. There is nothing like spending time with God alone and not being distracted by anything else during that time. I get perspective and energy from it.

  • kathy

    Building a great relationship with the Lord.
    Secondary,with others in my family and community.

  • http://brandonweldy.wordpress.com Brandon Weldy

    I am learning the discipline of reflection. I “finished” (I put it in quotes since it will always be changing) my life plan and have begun my weekly review process. It is amazing to me how much that helps me stay on track! Reflection is something I now look forward to and it keeps me walking the path I know God desires me to be walking.

  • Marian Forest

    These disciplines are very important. The one that I need to focus more is better rest habits. It is good to have family time and recreational time, also. We must know we have to  get rest in order to be able to function as a person and to do what God would have us to do. 

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  • Jon

    I observe that most people around me do not reflect. The reason is most likely they are fearful. The TV, radio or iPod is never off. Reflection is almost impossible when all this commotion is coming at us.

    Make a quality decision to unplug. Bask in the silence. Take a break and reflect.

  • Edythe Draper

    When employed not exercising the “Discipline of Rest” was my downfall. It’s so important. Now that I’m “retired”, I’ve taken time to savor the writings of the Early Church Fathers. It’s opened up a new understanding of faith and commitment, especially those of the desert mothers and fathers.

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  • Joe

    Relationships is what I struggle with most-I guess its the fear of intruding others privacy. My role as a leader in church is however slowly helping me to know that this cant be an  option. I love what my pastor keeps on telling me,”God is in the people business” and so I cant be a leader and shun real,heart relationships. Thanks for the reminder.
    Shalom

  • Grace

    I would say rest & reflect. It gives me time to refocus, reconsider & listen to what God is saying.

  • ValeriePlis

    Michael, I’ve been following your blog posts now for several months. And while I always enjoy your posts, this post was extremely valuable. One of my favorite scriptures is Keep your heart with all diligence, For out of it spring the issues of life. (Proverbs 4:23 NKJV).

    Whether you are a corporate leader, minister, or parent, it is easy to become overwhelmed with the responsibility of “doing” that we lose focus of the things that actually strengthen and help us to be more effective (i.e., Relationships, Recreation, Rest, Reflection). And for me, it seems as though these are the areas of life that are sacrificed for the sake of getting more done.

    Thanks for the awesome reminder!

    • http://michaelhyatt.com Michael Hyatt

      I am speaking on that very verse tomorrow! I love it. Thanks.

  • http://twitter.com/mehebda margaret

    Oh how encouraging! I have never, ever thought of rest as being built into my very physiology. But I am incredibly grateful that it is–what a precious gift from the Lord.

    Thank you so much for differentiating between recreation and amusement. I get those confused sometimes. I think you’re right–recreation is vitally important, and in someways (for me atleast) I feel that is is connected with rest. Just as amusement will often drain me, so recreation is often relaxing and restful. Now if I could just practice these disciplines :) 

  • http://www.meeklabs.com meeklabs

    I could definitely use that recreation discipline, but over time, I’ve found that it is the relationship that matters most.  When times are good and when they are bad, its the relationships we have that make all the difference in the world.

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  • Apanaa

    Thank You Micheal. That was a good read.

  • Anonymous

    I am a woman.   Relationship is most important to me . .   and the most difficult, as it requires co-operation and understanding.   Rest, one can discipline their own self.   Recreation,  plan.  Reflection, just do it.    But, Realtionship requires mutuality.    An ability to inspire, persuade and a sense of being a “fisher of men” . . .       an understanding of that which I follow.   A courage to follow . . rather than simply lead.   And, an abiding faith that what I follow is good, also, for my fellow man.   How to encourage others  to walk beside me?   Be not afraid to walk beside them?     It takes a profound faith and testing of my own integrity, which comes through Reflection.   I can grow weary, and need Rest.   Recreation together can form the bond . .    all paths leading to Relationship.  

  • [email protected]

    Assuming I am like most, I would argue that the discipline of relationships is the most important to me. I find myself stuck in the situation that I have been hurt at one point in a past relationship, and because of this I think too much. This causes me mental and emotional pain. Yes I have moved on, but now I am a different person. I believe I have found my match. She attended Christian school, is higher in her faith. She understands me, loves me, the whole works.. but I am stuck in the same situation as before, I find myself loving her more than she loves me. Yes she loves me and I know this, but it doesn’t seem like… I can get past this “gap.” I have always wanted a relationship where I am finding my partner loving me more than I love them, if not equally. This is where my “thinking” comes into play. I over think and feel unloved. I know Jesus died for my sins and fully believe it. I know God loves me uncontrollably and that I will never be able to even fathom how much he does. Still, I feel unloved, like the attention, or proof in this “relationship pudding” is not there. You know, something to go by and tell me I’m loved. We all see life, what God has given us, what he has done, PROOF and the attention given to us to feel loved. Sadly, as for myself, I wish I had at least a love in a relationship that attempts to be like my heavenly father’s. I honestly feel until I find this love that I’ll be to consumed by the want of it, and that it will decrease my faith/christianity. I ask that the Lord’s will be done and pray I am kneeling to it, it is hard and I don’t fully know what God wants for me. Regardless, I have a situation and found this while in my depressed doubts, which is why I’m here (possibly like most.) At any rate, I ask that those that read this, even if you don’t know me, I ask that you put aside thoughts and simply put me in your prayers.
    Sincerely, I simple college student from Southeast Missouri.

  • Ishanieperera

    sweet! Great article, thanks for sharing. May God continue to keep and bless you : )

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  • Leon Yeap

    Michael, Thank you for another personally timely message that is relevant! Thank you for sharing encouragement and wisdom.

  • Jerry Nulton

    Fabulous insight, thanks.

  • Dahlia_dd

    Discipline of Recreation. For Me, the more  scattered I am  the more I NEED the zenlike quality of  Fabric/ textile manipulation.  Quilting  needlework or just  organizing the  Sewing Studio of Awesomeness.  Just by doing these things  I have time to either shut down the destructive internal monolog  or   chew through a problem. It is so Effective to have control over the creative process. For me  it refills the pitcher  from which I serve others.  An Empty Pitcher cannot pour.

  • Danny Park

    Great article.  I especially liked the insight on the difference between amusement and recreation.  Very easy to get those mixed up.

  • Kontactkate

    Relationships for sure. 

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  • Tmabie

    Reflection. I have know for some time that need this. It is critical to my wellbeing. Yet it has been lacking. I need to go back to my life plan and ideal week.

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  • Valerie davies

    I find reflection is the most important point in this really interesting and helpful post. Reflection helps me see what is really happening, it puts things in perspective, refreshes me  and re-connects me with my Source.

  • Rosalind

    I totally agree with all four reason to guard ones heart.  I had a conversation earlier reagarding the fourth reason.  When we are completely open we make it possible for us to be attacked by the one who hates God and hates us. This is a new place for me in guarding my heart glad to be here.

  • Alexandra Leonardo

    The discipline of reflection and the discipline of recreation. Most often we forget these things :)

  • Christna

    My heart has been broken many times over the past 6 years by the same person. It has changed the very core of my being. I very seldom feel the gush of love and affection I used to have for my family, life, and everything that’s included in it. I have read this scripture in the past and felt the very need to be wiser and gaurd my heart. To protect it from the person who squanders it away, but I am so weak to him, and suffer in angst when he draws away from me.

  • Michelle Johnson

    I have done Spiritual Fast, but Fast can be challenging for me at times. I have stuck with fasts, and i have broken fasts. I like to Decorate cakes and learn new things to explore creativity. Learning how to make crafts allows me to make my own gifts for Birthday’s and Christmas for friends and family.

  • Rennie

    by far the most important for me is quiet time away from the world and being with the One who knows me best, allowing time to reflect and hear His voice through His Spirit in me and His Word, and through His creation. Thanks for your time in putting this article for our hearts out there.

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  • RVS

    I want to hear more about the discipline of recreation. Because sometimes for me, I just need to change my scenery and other times I need to DO something.