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The Four Disciplines of the Heart

Recently, I met with a leader who was in the process of losing heart. I have seen the look in his eyes a hundred times before. (I had seen it in my own mirror on more than one occasion.)

A Man Sitting on a Bench Reading His Bible - Photo courtesy of ©iStockphoto.com/irishblue, Image #4950788

Photo courtesy of ©iStockphoto.com/irishblue

My friend was under attack. He had just discovered that one of his board members was campaigning to unseat him. Worse, one of his children had just been diagnosed with a chronic disease. As a result of these issues, he was struggling with the typical symptoms of stress—insomnia, indigestion, and back pain.

He was ready to throw in the towel. And, who could blame him? Life is hard.

This is why leaders must understand the importance of their heart and why they must guard it. In times of adversity and temptation, a healthy heart is essential to survival.

How can leaders cultivate a healthy heart? I would suggest four disciplines:

  1. The Discipline of Reflection. We live in a busy and noisy world that will suck the life out of us if we let it. This is why it is essential that we intentionally pull away to a quiet place, pause, and reflect. If Jesus did this (see, for example, Mark 1:35), how much more important is it for us?

    I believe this is best done by reading the Bible and praying. I have also found it helpful to read other spiritual writings, especially those of the desert fathers. Anything outside of our own time gives us much-needed perspective, as C.S. Lewis notes in his Introduction to On the Incarnation by St. Athanasius.

  2. The Discipline of Rest. God has built rest into our very physiology. We are made to shut down for a third of the daily cycle. One of the quickest ways to lose perspective is to cheat ourselves out of this God-given “off switch.”

    But practicing the discipline of rest requires more than a biologically-induced pause. It requires deliberate choices: deciding to rest one day in seven and choosing to take our allotted vacations. I believe it even involves fasting—giving our bodies a break from the tyranny of our appetites.

  3. The Discipline of Recreation. There is a difference between amusement and recreation. The former leaves us more tired than we started. (Ever taken a trip to Disney World and come back more exhausted than you left?) Yet the latter refreshes us and grounds us.

    Recreation involves any activity that gives us the opportunity to express our creativity. For some, it might involve painting, writing, or playing a musical instrument. For others, it might even involve rebuilding an engine or baking a cake. These activities never seem urgent, but they are vitally important.

  4. The Discipline of Relationships. Arguably, this is the most important. You and I were made to live in relationship to others. In fact, the very foundation of reality is relational. Before the world was created, Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, lived together in perfect love and unity.

    But in a world of social media and faux connections, we must be intentional about building authentic relationships and real community. This means making time—quality time—for our family members and friends. It means taking the initiative to invest in those we love.

I realize that I have only scratched the surface. This topic is worthy of an entire book. My hope in writing this short post is simply to put your heart on your radar, so that you will nurture it and find it to be a resource in the challenging times ahead.

Question: Which of these disciplines is most important to you in nurturing your heart? You can leave a comment by clicking here.
Disclosure of Material Connection: Some of the links in the post above are “affiliate links.” This means if you click on the link and purchase the item, I will receive an affiliate commission. Regardless, I only recommend products or services I use personally and believe will add value to my readers. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

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Posted on October 31, 2011

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  • David Stevens

    I deal with this topic in a soon-to-be WestBow Press release called, The Reset: Reclaiming the Life You Should Be Living in 28 Days.  The basics are presented as “Learn seven life-transforming Resets  in 28 days and reclaim and finally live in the life that God designed just for you!”  One of the quotes on my front flap jacket says, “I firmly believe that most of our defeats and setbacks in life come because we do not diligently guard our heart.”

  • Bill Seashols

    Proverbs 4:23.  God told us.  Thanks for repeating.  Relationships imperative, beginning with our Jesus. Listen well and we will/can  hear each for ourselves. 

  • Donschin

    I 100% agree that the fourth, relationships, is the key. That’s why I chose to write about it as well for my first book. Michael keep your thoughts coming – you’re the only ‘blog’ that I follow.

  • Anthony DiMaio

    Hey there Michael — I have to complain… (LOL) you do this piece on The Four Disciplines of the Heart on MONDAY, and now I am caught in the blog-trail of great comments.  I would have liked to have seen this on Friday, so I could have implemented, instead of just lamenting… :)

  • http://www.15minutewriter.com Sharon Gibson

    These are critical disciplines. I am glad you wrote about them because with all the cultural pressures, it’s important to focus on taking care of your self and your relationships.

    Years ago, I felt impressed to set aside Sundays as a day of rest. At the time I had two retail stores with alot of demands and so it took discipline to do so. It is one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. Now after so many years, I cannot work on Sunday or my body protests. :-)Whether it’s Sunday or another day, I think it’s important for mental and physical health to rest one day per week. If God took a day of rest from His labor, then surely we can too. :-)

    One area I am challenged is taking rest breaks during the day and I need to be more intentional about that. The interesting thing is that when you take breaks, often creative ideas and solutions for your work come to you so it actually benefits your work progress as well.

    Thanks for articulating these so well.

    Keep up the good writing!

    Sharon Gibson

  • Dustin

     I needed to hear that this morning. Thanks!

  • Meghan Baxter

    “But in a world of social media and faux connections, we must be intentional about building authentic relationships and real community.”

    I can’t agree more. As a natural introvert, and a military wife, it’s so easy for me to keep to myself in each new community to which we are posted. It’s a real energy-sucker for me to make new friends, engage in small talk, and invite people over to get to know them. And, as an added bonus, I’m a writer, so I would rather type my feelings than share them in my own voice! 

    Thanks for this reminder that relationships truly are the foundation of our world, and our faith.

  • Ron Jenson

    Great piece Michael. I love using the Devtional Classics for this and on a wek away re-creating on the beach in San Diego. Thanks.

  • Jon-jon

    Well I guess the discipline of recreation in one of the most important to me. And yes indeed, i need to reevaluate my priority :-)  Thank God for the author of this wonderful reminder.

  • Jon Solangon

    Well I guess the discipline of recreation in one of the most
    important to me. And yes indeed, i need to reevaluate my priority :-) 
    Thank God for the author of this wonderful reminder.

  • Rich Procter

    Michael — Great post. I want to acknowledge you for the spirit you bring to this blog. I get something valuable and — more importantly — USABLE — every single time I come here.

    I’m a writer, and I often struggle with the discipline of relationships. I’d rather just shut the world out and write. And yet — as you remind me — we were meant to be in relationships, and know God through each other. (And, of course, produce positive results in the world by working together.)

    I lurk quite a bit here. I’m grateful for what you do. I get so much out of it. Thanks. 

    • http://michaelhyatt.com Michael Hyatt

      Thanks so much for your kind words, Rich.

  • Anonymous

    For me, without a doubt, it is the “Discipline of Rest”. I read somewhere that we “download” into our collective lives as Americans 3.6 zettabytes of information per year. That is the equivalent of twittering every second continuously for one hundred years. It’s hard not become numb to the onslaught unless you take time to reflect, ponder, and give meaning to just a portion of that overload in our lives.

  • Cammon30

    I have been doing some of these things with out understanding the power it was giving or supplying me with. For recreation I play my guitar! Even though people beg me to do things I rest instead. I am always reflecting and when O don’t I pay. The Lord has now put me in divine connections with people that are spirit builders.  The one that is the most essential for me is reflection and playing my guitar those two are the ones that seem to aide me the most! Be Blessed! And Thank You!

  • http://www.extremejohn.com Extreme John

    To me the most important is the Discipline of Reflection. Almost all of the time we read a lot but only a few of these times we are able to read a Bible. Finding the time to read it is oftentimes difficult especially for those who are busy learning other things. 

  • http://www.jeffrandleman.com Jeff Randleman

    Wow.  Great stuff.  I’m not sure I can answer your question about which is most important to me, though.  I continually see a need for each of these in my life.  Different seasons require a different focus.  For example, the last few months, I’ve needed to really apply the rest and recreation aspects.  But now that things are staarting to slow down a bit, reflection and relationships are more in the forefront.

    Great thoughts!  Thanks for sharing! 

  • Susan

    I was in my late 30′s when I finally realized how important recreation was. Prior to that time I had been a constant slave to my To Do list, experiencing a new thrill every time I crossed off a project that was completed. I had no hobbies, other than reading, and only then when I had the time. I have been scrapbooking for 12+ years now, and have found the time I spend working creatively on something I value and enjoy to have paid back, tenfold, the time I set aside for my hobby. I come away more relaxed, but energized, ready to tackle the next project with enthusiasm.

  • Rob Sorbo

    God has clearly blessed you with some great wisdom, Michael.

  • Rabrooks1

    A great and insightful post that is very timely.  The original word for recreation really had to do with re-creation. We have often forgotten that fact, and as you indicate, vacations can of themselves inflect a great deal of stress.

    Jesus himself was a great picture of your four “R” points and was part of the ideal example of a relationship of intimacy and intensity that seems impossible on the human level.

    Thanks again for sharing timely insights; they are good for me today.
     

  • Anne-Marie

    I think the most important is recreation. It embodies all the others: it is restful in a way mere sleep or solitude can be; it is relational in communicating to and with others in a way nothing else can; and lastly, it sparks reflection as nothing else can.  The benefits are not proportionate to our skill level (thank goodness!).

    I’m just sayin’…….

  • http://daddybydefault.com Craig Grella

    This is such a good article, thanks Michael. Sometimes I get caught up in what I’m doing and forget about every one of these “R” items.

  • http://www.rustgeek.com/ TheRustGeek

    I find rest and reflection are intertwined – for me at least – and I have struggled the most with both.. Thanks for the reminder! 

  • http://www.inamirrordimly.com Ed_Cyzewski

    This is great advice. One subset I would add to the relationships section would be friends and acquaintances who tell us the truth about ourselves. I once shared a potential writing project with a friend who listened carefully, asked a few questions, and then I decided to focus on some other things that were more important and better suited for my talents. That has happened at so many points in my career, and I’m a more effective writer because I made myself vulnerable to people who lovingly spoke the truth I needed to hear.  

    • http://michaelhyatt.com Michael Hyatt

      This is indeed one of the great benefits of friendship. Our friends can remind us who we are when we get lost.

  • http://www.charlesspecht.com Charles Specht

    Bible reading and prayer tend to “cure” us of many worries and stress.

  • http://www.joeyo.org Joey O’Connor

    This is a great post and rest is one of the most challenging areas for me. I’ve been reading a lot about physical training lately and the importance of rest in endurance sports. When we rest, we get stronger! LIFE is an endurance sport…when we rest, we get stronger…body, mind & Spirit.

  • Anonymous

    All four of the disciplines discussed are very important. 

    The Discipline of Reflection is the one I find, for me, is an absolute daily requirement that must not be put off.

    The Discipline of Relationship is the one that requires the highest level of intentionality, for me, because it can be easily put off until tomorrow.

    Thanks for the important reminder!

  • Gentsent

    The discipline of relations.

  • Carol Karels

    All four are in important, but I think 1 and  2  is the most important because with out Jesus  we have nothing.  We have to make time for Reflection and Rest  sometime this is hard to do for me  to do. 

  • Ken

    Mike,  Great post!  I love the part about pursing relationships.  I quoted you in the a post wrote for tomorrow, “Social Media, Trick or Treat.   Oh yeah, the discipline of rest isn’t bad either.  Some day, I am going to learn “Reflection.”  As always you challenge me.
    Ken

    • http://michaelhyatt.com Michael Hyatt

      I’m so glad we are friends. Our lives are richer because of you and Diane.

  • Wendy

    Great post, Michael. It makes me think of the anatomy of our heart. Our heart has four chambers.  When one chamber shuts down, the whole heart becomes diseased and unable to function well! So it is with the four disciplines…when one shuts down the whole person/leader becomes diseased and unable to function well.  If all four disciplines are taking place at one time, then those ‘attacks of the heart’ won’t be as damaging. :-) Thanks for your expertise on leadership!! 

    • http://michaelhyatt.com Michael Hyatt

      I am totally stealing that! Excellent.

      • Wendy

        I am honored! :-)

  • meeklabs

    Relationships, at least here in the US seem to become harder to establish and even harder to maintain these days.  Everyone is so busy trying to keep ahead or help their kids keep ahead, that no one has time for each other, much less themselves and God. 

    It seems like something catastrophic has to happen for people to slow down.  I’ve been slowly working to decrease the amount of time spent on the job or daily requirements, and surprisingly, no ill effects so far.  But I must admit it is far from easy.  The pull back to being overwhelmed is just a simple “Yes” answer to the next thing that comes along.

    We are told that in order to have life, we are to sacrifice our lives for Him.  This action removes so many burdens and stress, but a command that so few of us follow or even understand.  If only I had the faith as large as that mustard seed…

  • http://www.jeubfamily.com Chris Jeub

    I agree…you HAVE only scratched the surface. Fantastic stuff, and your thoughts come at a very good time in my life. Thank you, Michael!

  • Todd Alexander

    The “Discipline of Rest” helps me remind myself of the things that are truly important.

  • http://jeremysconfessions.com Jeremy Statton

    Could you make a list of the books that you read that help you pause and reflect?

    • http://michaelhyatt.com Michael Hyatt

      Some are listed on my bookshelf under the spiritual category. Thanks.

  • Jose Rene Berrios

    Love this post ! everything you said is so true, yet sometimes we find it so difficult to at least slow down, sit for a few minutes and meditate, rest, take a break from our routine and try to listen to God

  • http://RichardBurkey.wordpress.com Richard Burkey

    All 4 are important, but the other 3 don’t happen well without rest. Somewhere I heard “lead from rest”, and I have discovered when I violate that principle, all the other 3 are drained from my heart as well. Ultimately all 4 are interwoven. When you pull the thread of one, the other 3 unravel as well.

  • http://www.tnealtarver.wordpress.com TNeal

    Interesting take on fasting and “the tyranny of our appetites.” Thanks to your LoseIt.com post way back when, I recognize the wisdom in that statement. When I gained control over my weight and appetite, I found other areas of my life becoming more disciplined.

  • Alaskan At Large

    FYI: Off topic.

    Michael – I just saw the news that HarperCollins is acquiring Thomas Nelson.  Will this effect your position at Thomas Nelson?  Curious….

    • http://michaelhyatt.com Michael Hyatt

      I really can’t comment beyond the press release. Sorry.

  • Anonymous

    Amen! I hadn’t appreciated this perspective, but in hindsight, I’ve been under attack. I’m doing well in my Relationships, drawing much-needed nourishment there. I’m fighting for Reflection and Rest. 

    • http://www.gailsangle.com Gail

      Put it in your calendar. Block it out and then guard it. It’s hard to get into the habit of Reflection, Recreation and Rest but once you have it included into your life you’ll value and guard it well. Others will eventually learn that it’s ok for you to say no to them filling in your time.

  • http://www.hope101.net Lori Tracy Boruff

    Reflection.  It is in the time of reflection we can get honest with the disappointments and unmet expectations giving it all to Jesus.  Stuffing, burying, avoiding the pain keeps the wounds open. Honesty brings healing.  Pray. Listen. Lean. Hope….sweet times with Jesus! Reflection is the best time – even when it hurts.

  • Alaskan At Large

    Thanks for the speedy response re: the Thomas Nelson piece of news.  I’m always keen to follow the info you share about the publishing world and will look forward to updates when it’s appropriate for you to discuss it.  I learn so much on this blog.

  • http://ericspeir.com/ Eric

    This is some great advice. I struggle with these myself because of the high intensity in which we live. We are often in a rush to accomplish more in less than and it leaves us tired and wiped out. When I take the time to do these things then I help myself and those who are depending on me.

    • http://www.gailsangle.com Gail

      True. It can be hard to live up to others expectations but the more you give, the more they expect. One of my current favourite quotes is “Lead from a place of rest”. We’re all better people and leaders, if only of our children, if we are rested, recreated and well.

  • http://www.facebook.com/germanrayjr.gonzales German Ray P Gonzales Jr.

    The discipline of relationships is most important to me. I think that the measure of a meaningful life is not what new ideas, great material achievements we have brought about. Rather, it is the impact of these achievements on the quality of our relationships that counts more.  The people we love are the reason why we work our asses off in the first place. It would be the height of irony if we lose them just because we were too busy working. 

  • Guest

    As a Christian, I think the 1st discipline is all that matters. If I fail at #1, I will fail at #2-4. If I do #1 and obey (as Anthony DiMaio pointed out so well) then #2-4 take care of themselves. If I think I am good at #1 but fail in 2,3 or 4, then I am deceived and need to go back to #1. If I think 2-4 are more important than #1, I am stuck in idolarty and need to go back to #1. See a pattern here? ;)   :)Mat 6:33  But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.

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  • http://www.gailsangle.com Gail

    Most of us have lost the art of recreation – particularly mothers. I know this because when I ask people what they do for fun many look at me like I’m speaking a different lanuage!

    Playing, laughing and having fun is something we believe we need to leave behind with childhood but it is so important to keep us well and who we are. To begin with fun can feel awkward and get lost in competition for our time, but once we schedule and prioritise it,it’s soon clear that recreation and fun is vital for healthy living.

    If you have a wife, mother or friend who desparately needs some fun in their life, do your best to give them permission to recharge, to laugh, to play. Take the kids or the chores away from them for a while and let them have time to recreate. For some, playing with their kids is the answer (I love playing lego and barbies with my niece and nephew, it’s the most fun ever), so for them, maybe doing a basket of ironing or mowing their yard may give them the space they need to play. Others need kid-free time to attend a scrapbooking class or play sport with friends.

    Thanks for including Recreation Michael :) It’s so important.

    • http://www.15minutewriter.com Sharon Gibson

      Great points and suggestions Gail! Fun is something I need to schedule more into my life and I just thought of a young mother I can give a break to and enjoy her two little ones.

  • David Gould

    The Discipline of Rest I find so hard to do and of course it is the one that makes a huge difference to well being.

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  • http://insearchofwaterfalls.com Raj Paulus

    The most important to the health of my heart is the Discipline of Recreation. Why, because during those few moments of planned fun, I play with my hubby and daughters, sleep better, and have renewed energy to reflect. I love that I’m married to a man who plans great vacations. These are the times we stop running ourselves ragged and have great conversations with each other and with God. Loved this entry! :)

  • http://twitter.com/jamespinnick7 James Pinnick

    The Discipline of Relationships.

    I have to take more interest in people around me and live more for others than just me. I realize I live for God and He is my savior, but He commands me to spend the time building relationships. I’m trying! :)

    James
    Author-The Last Seven Pages
    http://www.jamespinnick.com

  • http://findingforwardmotion.com Tony Elam

    I need to do better with all of them lately, but more importantly Reflection.  One thing I have been planning to do prior to reading this is to take time to focus on what is true.  I am hearing so many false things lately that it has discouraged me.  I know better, and just need to rest and reset.  Thanks!

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