What to Do When You Don’t Know What to Do

I have been accused of “overthinking things” on more than one occasion….I’m not great at thinking on my feet; I’m better at thinking in the shower or on my bike.  But once I have worked things through in my mind and take that first action step, I feel empowered.  One step leads to another, then another.  Each step breeds confidence, fueling the next one.

I believe the most important thing to remember about myself is that, I know what I can handle
in a given situation, and what I can’t. If I focus on the truth about me, then whatever situation arises, I at least, have a premise on what to base the decisions that have to be made. Prior to all of this……I pray for guidance!

I enjoyed this simple and profound advice. Another similar piece of advice I read this year was to write the things that must be done (in order of importance) and then to start with the first thing and stick with it until it’s done. If it takes all day and I don’t get to the others then I’ve still completed the most important task. I doesn’t work everyday, but on the days I’m overwhelmed this is a great prioritizer.

Robb Massey
Winnipeg Manitoba

This seems to be closely inline with my life. Seems like we’re our worst critic. I’ve had to retrain my brain to go from worrying to being concerned. It’s a subtle shift and it’s also connected with one of your previous post http://michaelhyatt.com/what-story-are-you-telling-yourself.html

Worrying was something I harbored all my focus and emotions on which I have NO control over. It was the what-if of life. Concern is the “…if I _______, then I ________.” There’s more control and it focus on the solution of a possible situation. If I can’t put the situation in this frame, then I know I’m worrying. Also, noticed that worrying had a 99% never outcome.

So with the realization of freeing mindspace and saving valuable time, it was a little easier (emphasis on little) to convince myself to focus on what I may have control over and try and stop thinking about the things that I didn’t.

It’s a little semantic and mind-gamey, but we do what we have to, to make life more productive and meaningful. It’s all about the story and conversation.

List out the things that you know need to be done.  Try to prioritize this list.  Review the list with someone who can help you bring order to the list.  What is urgent and important?  These things should be handled first.  What is not important and is not urgent?  These things should be put at the bottom of the list or removed all together.  I have found that creating this type of list helps tremendously to ease the feelings of anxiety that come from not knowing where to start.

Thanks for the great reminder that God gives us a lamp for our feet, not an HD helicopter search light to discern the end. :)

I came across this concept as a young, homeschooling mom with six children, three in diapers.  We also had a thriving ministry, I taught piano lessons, and I wanted to write in my “spare” time.  I complained to my mentor one day and she said “You only have to do one thing, the next right thing, and sometimes that means REST.”  As you said, very simple, and very effective.  Everyone is all grown up now and when they come to me overwhelmed, I give them the same advice.  Thanks for the reminder:)  People often asked me, “How do you do it all?”  I always answered, “One prayer at a time.”

This is very helpful.  I’m in the process of leading some necessary change in our church.  Sometimes in the cacophony of voices it is hard to stay focused.

Mike, first of all thank you. Your blog is like fresh water in a desert.

My wife and I experienced our fifth miscarriage and I have a boss/pastor  who said, “Sorry.” Then gave me a ‘mini-dressdown’ on some office politics the next day. I think he has issues I’m unaware of that’s caused that meeting. 

The result? With emotions running high in me with the loss of our fifth child and prospect of never having children I started to freeze at work and just worry about the future of life as a whole. 

Your perspective of not worrying about the outcome is a nugget of wisdom that is so true – we expend so much energy on things we cannot control.  I got into the habit of listing my workflow and it gives me the momentum through each hour and helps me maintain my focus. 

Doing the ‘next’ thing has kept me sane.

Please keep it up!! I look forward to it every week.

My mother used to say, “When you don’t know what else to do, worship”. As I focus my attention on the problems I am overwhelmed yet if I choose to put my attention on Jesus I gain peace and perspective!

Wow.  Michael, this is great advice.  Thanks for sharing.  I think part of my failure in my current position is because of that overwhelmed feeling and letting it get me stuck.  This is also great advice when you are looking for work.  It’s easy to panic but when you focus on the next thing whether that’s updating your resume or submitting the next one, it get’s you moving toward your ultimate outcome.  Thanks.

This is great wisdom. It’s easy for us to get into analysis paralysis and to be so worried about what we’re doing 50 steps down the line.
It’s interesting too to combine this with the idea of setting a life plan as you’ve written about. It really is possible to have a major goal but yet not know all the steps that it will take to get there. Just take step one and step two and step three – and keep your eyes open on finding the path towards the goal.

This is great advice, Michael. I think this is so true, to just keep slogging through whatever is before you. It sounds like I am in the midst of a similar situation that you described about earlier on in your career and I’ve recently come to the conclusion that I can only do what I can only do. Simplistic like “do the next right thing” but this has helped me. Just keep on moving and doing something rather than nothing.

Again, thanks.

Just recently, I started reading the Bible.  I am 34 years old and was always raised Catholic.  I go to Church every Sunday yet I’ve not felt so clear as I have as of recent since I started reading the Bible.  I read a chapter a night and I write a reflection about what I read in a journal that I started.  It seems to help clear away all my problems at the moment, even if I know tomorrow my worries will still be there.

Forgetting about the ultimate outcome is a perspective and a discipline. It’s easy to see the choppy waters out there in the middle of the ocean and get totally frozen in fear and confusion. I learned the lesson of forgetting about the ultimate outcome when I went hiking many years ago. Being a city girl, I looked up at the mountain and was almost paralyzed in fear. When I looked only at the next step ahead of me, I was able to move forward.

Michael, you also sought the wisdom of the wise. Perhaps that’s your #2! :)

I agree with the “do something now” part.

I always feel better if I sit down and tackle a small portion of the big picture in front of me. It doesn’ t seem so big afterwards.

I usually make a list of the top ten things that probably need to be done.  Then I do three things in each area and repeat the cycle.  This applies to housework and writing and anything else on the agenda.  At the end of the day the most important things get done and I feel like I have accomplished something, yet I am no longer overwhelmed.

I have learned that the view looks different when you take a few steps, therefore the choices are different.  Something almost always pop’s up better than I thought, or I realized that I didn’t understand something and it becomes clearer.  Even if it turns out bad, I am somehow relieved that I am not longer worrying about it. 

I have been attending Alcoholics Anonymous with a dear friend of mine who is learning everyday to embrace her sobriety. Each meeting, everyone is reminded to do “the next right thing”. It is when people feel overwhelmed with the weight put on their shoulders, that they feel tempted to reach for that drink. Doing “the next right thing” helps to break down this overburdened feeling, one step at a time.  

Thanks, Michael, for this take-away which we ALL can use in facing our day-to-day challenges.

–JM
http://femmefuel.com/

I struggle to forget about the ultimate outcome, but sometimes that’s exactly what I need to do. I tend to make a list of all the things I think I need to do in order to have some “control,” but it usually just solidifies the unknown on paper.

Instead of getting lost and perplexed by the ultimate, I will do the next right thing.

That was excellent, simple advice! I tend to be an actor and my husband is an evaluator, I find we balance each other nicely. In a time of transition vocationally this is really timely advice for us. It’s also encouraging as I take one step at a time as a writer.

Have you ever had a time when you followed this advice and acted and it backfired on you? What was your response to that situation?

“Besides, before I ever get to the final destination, many of the variables will change.”
This is the reality of control and one of the main reasons controlling the outcome of anything is an illusion.

Great stuff Michael!

Michael,

Great read as always.  Of course prayer and seeking God is always on the top of my list. I also turn to my Wife for advice and direction.  I value her opinion and trust her with my life.  Once we find agreement in a direction then we walk towards it together with a confidence that empowers us to do the next right thing.

That is excellent advice and the truth that we have even less control over the outcome than we think is refreshing. We really don’t have that much control to begin with.