Whatever Happened to Modesty?

I watched MTVs VMA awards last night. Some of my daughters’ friends are in the band Paramore, and they were nominated for an award. And—to be honest—I wanted to see how Britney Spears would do, since we are publishing her mom’s book next week.

A Women with a Veil - Photo courtesy of ©iStockphoto.com/hidesy, Image #886115

Photo courtesy of ©iStockphoto.com/hidesy

It’s been a while since I’ve seen MTV, but I was flabbergasted. I could not believe the sensuality and decadence I witnessed. Gail and I finally had to turn it off. We just couldn’t take it any more.

As I thought about my experience later, it made me sad. I am the father of five daughters. So perhaps I’m just a little overly sensitive. But I was shocked at the complete absence of modesty, the ridicule of virginity, and the latent misogyny displayed by Russell Brand and many of the artists themselves.

One of the few redeeming moments in the evening was when Jordin Sparks, referring to Brand’s contempt for chastity, said,

I just have one thing to say about promise rings: It’s not bad to wear a promise ring, because not everybody, guy or girl, wants to be a slut.”

Touché. It must have struck a nerve, because the next time Brand appeared, he apologized for his comments. Sort of.

Regardless, it got me to thinking, Where are these girls’ fathers? Has anyone ever taught them the concept of modesty? Or have all the men in their lives simply exploited them as sex objects

Don’t get me wrong; I’m not a prude. But I do think some basic guidelines are in order. These are not rules about skirt length or the amount of cleavage you can show. I’m just not a very good legalist; they are simply guidelines.

I gave these to my girls when they were growing up. Frankly, they haven’t been perfect in following them. Modern culture exerts a powerful influence. Nevertheless, I wanted them to have something that would transcend current fashion and guide their attire once they were older and, perhaps, a little wiser.

Here they are: “Four Guidelines for Modesty”:

  1. If you have trouble getting into it or out of it, it is probably not modest.
  2. If you have to be careful when you sit down or bend over, it is probably not modest.
  3. If people look at any part of your body before looking at your face, it is probably not modest.
  4. If you can see your most private body parts or an outline of those parts under the fabric, it is probably not modest.

If you think these guidelines are helpful, you might want to pass them along to the young women you know. Evidently, not many are getting the message elsewhere.

Question: What advice would you give young men or women? You can leave a comment by clicking here.
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  • Angela Bickford

    Great message! I agree wholeheartedly, but you might not think that if you read my latest post. I wrote about self-image and how you should love your body no matter the state it’s in. It was a bit of a risque post because of the images I used, but I thought, prayed, etc. before I posted it and felt the message was bigger than my fear. I knew I would possibly lose some of my Christian audience, but I also knew that I had something that couldn’t go left unsaid. It’s a very fine line…
    http://www.angelabickford.com

  • jesse

    I don’t watch MTV or any of the awards show because they have no decency at all. All these modern day singers want to do is grab themselves when they sing. Personally I think it’s disgusting. Then they wonder what’s wrong with our youth.

  • tmg

    I agree, just one thing..It’s not fair to women who have breasts, they get stared at, in a sweater, in a tank top, in a puffy coat..unavoidable. I wore huge sweaters when I was young and it didn’t stop someone who wanted to look, trust me I tried.

  • Irene Belyeu

    Immodest dressing creates lust. 1John 2:15-16: “Love not the world, neither the things that are in the world. If any man love the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the Father, but is of the world.”
    Lust ultimately brings death. James 1:14-15: “But every man is tempted when he is drawn away of his own lust and enticed. Then when lust hath conceived it bringeth forth sin: and sin, when it is finished bringeth forth death.”

  • http://www.jackiebledsoe.com/ jbledsoejr

    Great stuff here Michael!! Thanks for sharing. I have not been able to pull my thoughts together after watching the YouTube clips of it…I’m embarrassed, amazed, and saddened all at the same time. But this is the culture, the society, are kids are growing up in today. I loved when you said, “Where are these girls’ fathers?” I can’t imagine…

  • http://moyomamora.com/ M.Mamora | Discovering Purpose

    Great to see fathers who stand up for truth as unpopular as it may be!

  • http://shops.half.ebay.com/booknookatl_W0QQ Book Nook Atlanta

    WOW! STUNNING! Thank you for sharing your heart, Mike! As I shared this with my facebook readers, I made it clear to say that I’d be heartbroken if this message wasn’t shared and went viral! EVERYONE NEEDS TO READ THIS!

  • Aileen Rodriguez Price

    I love the guidelines, Michael. They’re simple and on point. Another guideline my mother gave me was: “Just because it’s a style, it doesn’t mean it’s a style for you.” I was raised very old-school, and it shocks me when people don’t seem to understand they can look stylish and attractive while being modest.

  • Judi G. Reid

    Modesty helps to generate respect & dignity as criteria for the value of women. Launching in Oklahoma City in October is a project, She’s Somebody’s Daughter. Wouldn’t that concept change the thinking and behaviors of many who see only flesh? http://www.somebodysdaughter.org (soon to be shessomebodysdaughter.org) Thank you Michael, women and fathers who supported this post.

  • raisingrealmen

    Good post! It’s a shame that stuff isn’t obvious anymore. Here’s our take on it: there’s something behind it we all need to understand, especially parents. http://www.raisingrealmen.com/2013/08/miley-cyrus-mtv-and-why-it-matters-to-christian-families/

  • Cathy Hamilton

    I love this. But, It’s not just dressing modestly, it’s more important to behave modestly. They go hand in hand. I have 3 daughters and a son. I think I’m most concerned for my son because girls are very very aggressive in their behavior towards him. He’s only 15 but he has girls from 13-25ish getting way too close and saying inappropriate things. How’s he supposed to contend with that? And he spends most of his time in church and christian school related activities. So parents, please talk to your girls about their behavior as well as whether wearing a bikini or tank top is okay and how high a hemline should be. And talk to your sons about how to keep the girls at arms’ length. Something we’re still trying to figure out.

  • http://www.5toolgroup.com/ Jay Oza

    This was nothing but great marketing and it always works. Marketers don’t think of modesty as long as there is no penalty for being immodest. Just look at Kim Kardashian and many others. It is hard to get people’s attention today, and Myley Cyrus got lots of attention with her twerking (didn’t know what this meant till this week). I don’t think she cares that few parents are offended. This is the new norm now.

  • Heather

    If it’s something you wouldn’t want you grandparents to know, see, or hear, it’s probably best not to do it.

  • Lori Cray

    Love the guidelines. I have 5 girls also and 1 boy. Not only do I want my girls to be modest. I want other girls to be so that my son isn’t put in bad situations.

  • Vanessa Sundin

    first, i want to say that i was raised as a christian and still identify as christian, though i have significant issues with the church.

    i find this article, while likely well intentioned, very sexist. why is it
    always the girl’s/woman’s responsibility or fault if/when another person finds
    her attractive? what
    about expectations for boys/men generally?

    i’m so sick of christian denominations making the female form
    out to be a sinful thing or at least something about which girls/women
    should be afraid of embarrassed. how do you expect your children to
    have reasonable, healthy relationships to their bodies and sexuality?
    i’m not condoning kids dressing revealingly, but there’s a level at
    which the criticism and rules for girls/women becomes a shaming ritual
    and/or tool for oppression.

    furthermore, men are rarely, if ever criticized, for their form or presentation, other than for sloppiness, in christian denominations. i suppose this is to be expected, though, as men also rarely, if ever, bear any responsibility or accountability for anything under the dogma that many christian denominations espouse. instead, men largely are treated as kings of the kingdom and are given free reign. i think it’s about time that we start treating the sexes equally and began talking openly about sex and the human form.

    as a side note, i have no comment as to the vma’s other than i generally find them pretty despicable. i do actually like russell brand though. i find him to be funny, intelligent, and sometimes insightful, though he often presents his opinions in controversial/shocking ways.

  • Kennedy

    These arguments of modesty may be fighting against the objectifying and sexualizing stigma of women by our culture, but they perpetuate the idea that a woman’s body is shameful and needs to be hidden. It achieves the opposite purpose, by objectifying her. Rather than make a woman into a sex object to be put on display, these arguments say she needs to hide her natural curves. Sexual attraction is biological and natural. Lusting, however, is very wrong. Turning a woman into an object in your mind is terrible and inhumane, degrading them to something less than they are. And if a man sees a woman wearing something that might fit to her curves more than it would on a skinnier woman, it does not mean that he is lusting. Lust is his choice.
    In addition, this kind of thinking promotes the idea that women are responsible for men’s behavior. It follows the same kind of logic as the “you should cover up more because it distracts the boys.” Why do girls get in trouble when boys look at them inappropriately? Why are girls held accountable for men’s wandering thoughts, a domain over which we have no control? A man could have a foot fetish. Does this mean woman should not ever wear flip flops or sandals simply to protect the potential man out there who might fantasize about her feet? No. It is not her job. It is not women’s responsibility to protect men’s “innocent eyes.”

  • tessa

    Well said. I applaud you for speaking up and couldn’t agree more. As a young women I’m appalled at the sexualization and exploitation of young girls today and the simple fact that no one seems to notice or care. When will we start to realize and teach these girls they are far too valuable to simply give themselves away.. in the way they dress and the actions/decisions they make.

    For all the reasons you’ve mentioned I’ve started Five Ten Girls (http://510girls.com) in hopes to empower and educate these girls in the truths that lie hidden and go unspoken with the cultural “norms”. I loved your guidelines and will be sharing these with my audience as well! Thank you again for speaking up!

  • http://learningfromsophie.com/ Laura Anne

    Why is this only directed at girls? The amount of guys who have their jeans hanging past their boxer shorts or wearing tight fitting shirts to show off their muscles…how is that any more acceptable?

    • http://michaelhyatt.com/ Michael Hyatt

      Because the entire premise of the article was my experience as a father. Since I only have girls, that’s all I know. Thanks.

  • lnwalker

    Bravo!! Thanks!

  • Russel Polk

    When I watched TV with my girls or saw girls pulling their skirts down or their blouses up, I always pointed it out and told them, “If you are feeling the need to pull your skirt down or your blouse up, your conscience is telling you it is not modest.”

  • ORA Executive Coach

    I’m wondering if you have parallel guidelines for sons.

    • http://michaelhyatt.com/ Michael Hyatt

      Im afraid I don’t. I have five daughters but no sons.

    • Jo W.

      At our house, modesty is a dual issue. One daughter and soon-to-be two sons. Things like “Don’t show your underwear” go both ways. If I don’t want my daughter hanging her fanny out the bottom of a skirt, my son isn’t going to be showing his cracked bottom out the top of his shorts. There are easy ways to teach your son modesty, just as your daughter. Modesty isn’t just about appearance though. The language you use, the tone of your voice, your attitude, all of these can be modest and pleasing to God or they cannot be. Appear is just one aspect. I wouldn’t want my daughter writhing on stage like Beyonce regardless of how she was dressed.

  • Chaya

    Well said. Growing up, when we would dress up for special occasions or even when we would spend time making our hair or simply being girly, my mom would kindly say, ”it’s the beauty inside that counts most”. It was a simple phrase but it went a long way. We were taught that any part of the body that is used to be intimate with a loved one, should be covered otherwise we are giving our intimacy freely to strangers. My relationships are so real and healthy because, I know that guys won’t hit on me for the body I am flaunting openly; rather it’s a relationship that grows from the inside out. And when the roots are strong, the branches are free. Thanks again for your insight.

  • mellella

    Hey i’m a 20 year old girl who totally gets where you’re coming from! That’s why I started a modest fashion blog…to inspire women and girls that they can be fashionable AND show a respect for themselves and their bodies at the same time. Check it out at Facebook.com/MissMellalina

  • J. Plo

    Good article.

    I think your guidelines are good but could be added to. In my experience, regardless of what you’re wearing, if someone wants to check you out, they’re going to, baggy sweatpants and all. We are wired to acknowledge beauty, no matter how blanketed or uncovered it is.

    What matters is your heart motivation behind wearing what you are wearing and the manner in which we present ourselves as people worthy of love and respect.

  • Mark

    I wonder if maybe the reason so many people in the entertainment industry disregard God because of those violent nuns and molesting priests in the Church, among other atrocities. Sorry to bring that up, but the Church is once again in the news for the wrong reasons and as a result, I am in a bad mood. No really, I believe the Church has done just as much harm as MTV.

  • Anna Marion Howell

    Or, as my dad would say, “If I can see up it, down it, or through it, you’re not wearing it!”

  • Donna

    Excellent guidelines. Young women are getting the wrong messages from everywhere today. I remember when Beyonce was performing the halftime show at the Super Bowl, the first lady Michelle Obama tweeted about how proud she was. I understand she meant proud that a black woman was headlining the super bowl, but she was dancing around in a skimpy black leather body suit. So, what message does that send to young women, and coming from the White House?

  • Donna

    I would like to add that this also applies to young men. Pull your pants up and keep your shirt on. LOL. Now get off my lawn.

  • LadyJevonnahEllison

    Awesome. Simply awesome.

  • Researching for my platform

    Michael, what made you choose to make this blog post about “what to wear” instead of addressing the misogyny?

  • http://warriormen.com/ Glen Evans

    Both moms and dads wield a great deal of influence in the battle against our declining culture. Moms are the example of modesty and dads reinforce how a woman is so much more attractive when all isn’t revealed at first glance – at least to the right man.

  • L2Brennan

    Michael…I like this so much I’ve made it a permanent note on my FB profile, printed it to hang in our daughter’s room and saved I’ve also saved this to our daughter’s email folder for future reference (our daughter is 8.5 y/o). Only one observation to add….where are these girls’ Mothers (in addition to their Fathers)?!

  • gardenlobster

    It would be great if those guidelines worked in the real world. Let’s face it – whether you’re in a bikini, a business suit, a burka, or a space suit, if you’re a woman your body will be objectified and the eyes will go to certain places on your body because the beholder hasn’t been told that you have worth and value as a person. Granted, virginity shouldn’t be shamed and the desire to cover one’s body isn’t a bad thing, but remember you said it yourself: misogyny. What you are witnessing is the self-objectification by women who are misogynists themselves, who live in rape culture. They are trapped in the matrix, while believing they have choice – the choice is false. They dress to gain approval through their sensuality because they view themselves as mere objects and that is their only value and purpose. Instead of teaching girls to dress modestly, how about teaching boys not to objectify? How about teaching them it’s a lie that they can’t control their urges? How about teaching them that rape culture is a thing and it stops with them? How about teaching them that even if you find a person attractive, they have value as a human being? How about teaching them that the gender or sex they find the most attractive does not HAVE to conform to any standard of beauty, that if they don’t find them traditionally attractive the person is still a person, and that no matter what age, race, size, biological sex, sexual orientation, social stature, occupation, sexual expression, or disability status a person is a person is a PERSON is a valuable soul worthy of respect??

  • Pam Taylor

    This is great, Michael. Thank you for sharing this now…with summer upon us. Seems like the time of year when modesty is not a priority anywhere. My heart goes out to the men that are trying to guard their heart and their eyes. It must be very difficult!

  • Bree

    I agree with what is written here..to a point. But why, as a women, do I have to cover myself so that men won’t “stumble? Do these men not have any self control? If I am constantly policing my wardrobe to protect men from their out of control sex drives, am I really helping men? Or am I allowing them to be complacent by placing the burden of self control on women? And alternatively, evangelical Christians tend to ignore the fact that women also have active sex drives that are visually stimulated. Perhaps seeing a shirtless man cause me to stumble, but no one would dare tell a guy to cover up. Their is a double standard here and it needs to be addressed.

    • http://michaelhyatt.com/ Michael Hyatt

      Look, I wrote this as the father of five daughters. It isn’t a piece in a journal or even a magazine. It’s my personal experience. I don’t disagree with what you have said; I’m just not the one to write it.

      • Brianna Gipp

        Oh, that is such a cop-out. It doesn’t matter if it’s in a journal or a magazine. You still posted it publicly and people are allowed to comment on it.

    • Jo W.

      How about showing respect for yourself and your future husband in a manner that is pleasing to God? I don’t dress modestly to protect other men. I do it to honor my husband. I don’t want to draw unwanted attention from other men (attention that may get me into trouble and will cause problems in my marriage) because that attention has been placed under the role my husband fulfills. It is his duty to provide me with that attention and it’s my duty to guard my heart. Covering my body is a great way to do that. I am respecting myself, respecting my husband and respecting God, as well as teaching my daughter to be modest and my sons to find a modest wife, when I take a look at the “stumbling block” I may be putting in front of other men. I wouldn’t want an immodest woman tempting my husband, what right then have I to do that to another woman’s husband (or future husband)?

  • Kathryn Andrews

    I agree with your points, but I also want to point out that men can dress immodestly too. For either gender, if your clothes are showing every detail of your body (and especially parts that should be kept private) they’re not modest. As a mother of daughters and sons, I’ve had to have this conversation with both boys and girls. My son is growing into an attractive young man, and he’s gotten just a little too fond of skin-tight shirts that show his muscles. It’s not modest, and he needs to learn to think about how he dresses just as much as my girls do.
    If your clothing is being used to brag about how rich you are by conspicuous designer labels and outrageous jewelry, you’re not being modest, you’re being a showoff. Don’t get me wrong, I like to wear well-made clothes when I can afford to, but I don’t like to use my body as a walking billboard for some clothing company. It’s another form of exploiting people’s bodies for money. Is the first thing you want someone to learn about you when they meet you “they buy their clothes at ____ store?”

  • Jaime

    Good stuff! Only the last “probably”, should be a “definitely”!

  • Norman Simpson

    May we address this subject from a spiritual/Biblical perspective? When we pray over writing a
    tract and publishing it to be passed out or write an article to be published it
    is with the intent and purpose to be an extension of God’s love to all that
    read it. This is part of our work through the Lord as a weary traveler just as
    Jesus was walking through Samaria, being a human he stopped at a well for rest and refreshment of water. He told a woman who also came to get water at the well that “we worship what we
    know, for salvation is from the Jews.” He had hopes concerning her, what
    she would have done if she had known him; to be sure she would not have given
    him such a rude and uncivil answer; this was her day of visitation. That time was
    a period of transition from the Law of Moses to the dispensation of grace and
    truth which came by Jesus Christ and now salvation is offered to the entire
    world in him. Many who read the writings, if they had known the gift of God and
    who it is that inspired everything in reaching them; they would have asked to
    give them this living water.
    Both women and men of purity should practice
    modesty of dress and behavior (1 Timothy 2:9-10; 1 Peter 3:2-5). The Scripture
    teach a great difference between feminity and masculinity as to dress. In the
    law given to Moses it was stated: “The woman shall not wear that which
    pertaineth unto a man, neither shall a man put on a woman’s garment: for all
    that do so are an abomination unto the Lord thy God.” (Deuteronomy 22:5 KJV). The desire to emulate men in dress has also seriously affected the fine and noble characteristics of
    womanhood. Often it take a second glance to determine the sex of a person, due
    to the distorted and strange garb many women are wearing, and the close
    proximity of their entire attire to that of a man. This is called an
    “abomination” by the Scriptures.
    In America, many women wear apparel
    that closely resembles that of men. Some women come to church in culottes and
    gauchos so tight that the brothers standing behind them have to concentrate on
    resisting the devil while trying to “lift up holy hands” unto the Lord. Culottes
    are garment that hangs like a skirt, but is actually pants. Also described as a
    split or divided skirt or any garment which hangs like a skirt, but is actually
    pants. Gauchos are a wide, calf-length trousers modeled after the trousers
    worn by South American gauchos (cowboys). They usually have a high waist cut
    and loosely tapers from the thigh until a few inches below the knee. More
    importantly, they are related to a uni-sex spirit that is an abomination to
    God. Sometimes it’s hard to see the big difference and at other times it’s
    obvious. Sometimes they just look like oversized, wide leg pants which
    sometimes are known as palazzo pants. Semantics! The women’s fashion industry
    commonly takes words that have historically been used to describe men’s
    garments and uses them to describe an entirely different garment, often
    creating confusion among historians and history students and readers. So, in
    conclusion, culottes look more like a skirt, it’s only when you separate your
    legs that you realize they are not a skirt. Whereas gauchos, are more of a
    cropped pant, sometimes wide leg shorts, if they are the shorter version. The
    fashion of this world passeth away but he that doeth the will of God abideth
    forever. Love not the world, neither the things that are in the
    world. If any man love the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all
    that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the
    eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the Father, but is of the world. And the
    world passeth away, and the lust thereof: but he that doeth the will of God
    abideth for ever. (1 John 2:15, 16 and 17 KJV) Do not deceive yourself, reader,
    in the belief that you can continue to wear things which the Word of God
    forbids, and still be a spiritual person, filled with the grace of God. It is
    impossible. God’s children are to be “obedient children, not
    fashioning yourselves according to the former lusts in your ignorance.”*

    How often we meet professing Christians who are
    living in open violation of this part of the Bible, and who, when we mention
    the fact to them, are ready to excuse themselves, saying, “Oh, these things are
    not in my heart”! Well, if they are not in the heart, then why are they carried
    about on the person? When we enter the city and see a display-sign outside of a
    store, we naturally expect to find the goods thus advertised kept in stock in
    that store. Now, we know that proud people manifest their pride in their dress.
    If you are humble in heart, free from this worldly abomination, and do not wish
    to be mistaken for a proud person, then take down the sign. If you think these
    things are not in your heart, then it will be a very easy matter for you to
    prove it by obeying God’s Word and removing them from your person. When you
    undertake to do this, however, you may find, as thousands of others have found,
    that the love of such things goes deeper than you have ever imagined. Your
    teeth may rest so easily in your mouth that you seldom think of them; but when
    the dentist attempts to remove one, you become painfully aware of the fact that
    it has long roots and draws hard. Similarly you may be so accustomed to wearing
    worldly adornments that they seem perfectly natural and easy, so that you are
    deceived into thinking that they are all on the outside; but when you attempt
    to obey God’s Word and discard them, you will find that they are rooted in your
    affections and reach down deep into the soul. But Jesus says, “If
    a man love me, he will keep my words.”* “Why call ye me, Lord, Lord, and do not the things which I
    say?”*
    Others wear dresses so short or form-fitting, with splits so high
    or necks so low, that some churches stock shawls and mini-blankets for their
    sisters to cover up with. And similar comments could be made about the way some
    Christian men dress. The fashions of this world for both sexes, but especially
    for women, are generally immodest and indiscrete, having been created under the
    influence of the spirits of lust and sensuality, and as such, should not be the
    standards adopted by Christians “professing godliness.” What you wear as a
    Christian does matter, and God does care about the issue. This is because
    one’s external physical appearance is usually an indication of one’s internal
    morality: Placing one’s self on Sex appeal display is a moral decision
    associated with one’s inner moral and emotional state. If God didn’t care about
    this, He would not have given us any principles of instruction about modesty
    and Sex appeal in His Word. Practical purity involves not only dress, but also
    carriage and comportment. Flirting is a behavior that is contrary to purity. Purity
    teaches both sexes how to carry themselves “modestly,” so that they don’t
    behave in ways that are Sex appeal, even though the world may not care and may
    not know such behavior has Sex appeal overtones. A lot of what we do in our
    society today emanates directly or indirectly from the spirits of fornication,
    lust, and sex appeal looseness. For example, notice the common behaviors listed
    below, all of which are just fine by the world’s standards but contrary to the
    principles of modesty and propriety: sitting wide-legged and provocatively
    (women and men),
    taking up various positions in front of the opposite sex, omitting pieces of
    clothing no longer deemed important by the world, discussing certain sex appeal
    topics in mixed company, coarse and indiscreet talking.

  • Schop

    A great worship leader I know gives his team a simple admonishment:
    If you look at yourself in the mirror before church and think, “dang, I look good!” You need to turn around and change!

    • RustbeltRick

      Why is that good advice?

  • Elisabeth M

    Hey, I wanted to weigh in on your Guideline Number Three. Please be aware that this guideline is actually not in anyone’s power to follow, because none of us can control the behavior of others.

    Many, many women experience the daily harassment of being ogled for no reason other than that they are female. It’s not at all uncommon to get leered at and objectified – no matter what they’re wearing. For women with extreme curves, adhering to modesty guidelines is an exercise of shame and futility: some women have body types that makes it seriously impossible to wear ANYTHING that doesn’t accentuate those curves. Short of a sheet. Maybe even a sheet.

    I want to bring your attention to this because it’s an easy thing to overlook unless you’ve experienced it. Objectification is something women deal on a daily basis, whether they’re adhering to guidelines such as your own, or not.

    Point being, we should never ask ourselves, or each other, to control what other people choose to do. It’s the very definition of an unachievable goal. If you’re a woman, and you’re standing next to an objectifying creep who thinks of women as objects, you are going to get ogled. And that is not your fault, or your responsibility.

  • erin r.

    It’s also possible that these women know what your concept of “modesty” is, and simply chose not to engage. Slut-shaming these women (and not that their sexual history is any of your business, but there’s no way for you to know it) by the way they dress is more misogynist than Russell Brand’s comments. This is just more patriarchal “I’m a man and therefore can’t control my eyes” nonsense.

  • Brianna Gipp

    You, sir, are in no position to be calling anyone out for misogyny.

  • John Patrick Lichtenberg

    I would suggest not telling girls what to wear. Modesty culture is why we have rape culture. But by all means, do whatever you want.