My wife, Gail, and I have been married for thirty-five years. She is my lover, my best friend, and my coach. But a few months ago we had a doozy of a fight.
As I was reflecting on that experience, I thought to myself, How can we avoid slipping into this same conflict in the future?
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I want to share five lessons I jotted down from that experience. I believe they apply in any situation—even work—where you are trying to resolve a conflict.
- Clarify our expectations up front.
- Assume the best about each other.
- Affirm the priority of the relationship.
- De-personalize the problem.
- Listen more than you talk.
What does a fight with my wife have to do with leadership? Well, as it turns out, everything. If you can’t lead yourself, you can’t lead others. And if you can’t learn to manage conflict with those closest to you, you can’t possibly expect to manage it with those who have less of a stake in the outcome.
- Amanda Vosloh asked, “If and when is it appropriate for married couples working in the same field to market and promote themselves together?”
- Charles Pobee-Mensah asked, “How do you view a husband’s role as different from that of a wife in a marriage?”
- Kevin Bemel asked, “What do you see as the differences between leading a family and leading a business?”
- Steve Spillman asked, “How do you and Gail discuss and perhaps disagree about a business matter without it affecting your personal relationship?”
- If you are considering launching your own platform—or just getting serious about it—you need to start with a self-hosted WordPress blog.
This is not as complicated as it sounds. In fact, I have put together a step-by-step screencast on exactly how to do it. You don’t need any technical knowledge. I walk you through the entire process in exactly 20 minutes.
- The Launch Conference for this fall is filling up fast. In case you don’t know, this is the conference for professional speakers or those who want to be. It’s all about the business of public speaking.
Specifically, we teach you a powerful, four-part framework designed to help you:
- Discover your assets;
- Design your products;
- Develop your market; and
- Determine your value.
This is the conference that launched me into my professional speaking career. We will be holding the conference on September 16–19 in beautiful Vail Colorado.
This is one conference that will pay for itself almost immediately. I paid for mine in the first month after I attended.
- My next podcast will be on the topic of “How Do Busy Leaders Find Time for Social Media?” If you have a question on this subject, please leave me a voicemail message. This is a terrific way to cross-promote your blog or website, because I will link to it, just like I did with the callers in this episode.
In this episode I mentioned several resources, including:
- Book: Love & Respect: The Love She Most Desires; The Respect He Desperately Needs by Emerson Eggerichs
- Book: The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey
- Course: Facebook Influence
- Website: Amy Porterfield’s Website
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Question: What has your own marriage taught you about leadership?