#080: 5 Reasons to Speak Well of Your Spouse in Public [Podcast]

As a leader, the health of your marriage directly affects the impact of your leadership. I have witnessed this time after time. Being effective at work or in ministry begins by being effective at home.

Praising your spouse in public is one of the most important investments you can make—in your family and in your leadership. In this episode, I share five reasons why it positively impacts your effectiveness.

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  1. You get more of what you affirm.
  2. Affirmation shifts your attitude toward your spouse.
  3. Affirmation helps strengthen your spouse’s best qualities.
  4. Affirmation wards off the temptation of adultery.
  5. Affirmation provides a model to those you lead.

To be a truly effective leader, you must lead yourself, and then you must lead your family. Your marriage is a powerful visual of how you treat the people you value the most.

When you speak highly of your spouse, your followers are more likely to trust you. It takes your leadership to another level.

Listener Questions

  1. Erica wrote, “My husband and I are struggling. I think we need professional help, but this has such a negative connotation to him—like we are admitting defeat. How can I convince my husband to go with me to a marriage therapist?”
  2. John asked, “I am afraid my wife and I are locked into this vicious cycle where we make fun of one another in public. To outsiders, it probably seems harmless, but, honestly, it embarrasses me and make me resentful. How can we stop this cycle and get back on track?”
  3. Patricia asked, “My husband and I have been guilty of bashing one another in public. We had an honest talk about it and committed ourselves to change. That was several months ago. Now he has slipped back into the old patterns, and it hurts now more than ever. He says I am just being ‘too sensitive.’ How can I convince him to get back on the wagon without me looking needy and weak?”
  4. Megan said, “I have seen so many girlfriends complain about their husbands as a way to connect with each other. I don’t believe it is healthy. What should I do when it happens and I am present? I always feel awkward but am not sure what to say.”

Tip of the Week

To really put this episode into practice, try this:

  • Ask your spouse to listen to this episode and then schedule some time to discuss it.
  • Decide together you are going to speak well of one another, in public—and in private.
  • Don’t try to stop a bad habit. That rarely works. Rather, cultivate a good habit like noticing something good about your spouse. Maybe it’s the way they look, something they have said, or something they have done.
  • Acknowledge them. Praise them. Thank them. If you don’t know what else to do, start by being grateful—and expressing it.

Episode Resources

In this episode I mentioned several resources, including:

Show Transcript

You can download a complete, word-for-word transcript of this episode here, courtesy of Ginger Schell, a professional transcriptionist, who handles all my transcription needs.

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Question: How have you seen this principle of speaking well of your spouse play out in the lives of those who have led you?

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